I heard you crying yourself to sleep last night, you still haven't heard from him, but you're sure he’ll come around.
Is he worth it?
I heard you talking on the phone yesterday, saying he didn't come home last night, but you tell yourself he probably just had to work late again and stayed downtown with a friend.
Is he worth it?
I heard you turning down an invitation to a party tomorrow night, because he's working late again and you don't want to go alone, again. But you tell yourself it's only temporary, even though it never seems to end.
Is he worth it?
I saw your bedroom light on late last night; you can't sleep because he's supposed to be calling after he gets back from yet another night out with the guys. But he's done this so many times before, and you keep forgiving him.
Is he worth it?
I saw those tears begin to fall when you saw that couple running to meet each other at the airport. But he always tells you not to bother to come.
Is he worth it?
I heard your voice shake when you made yet another excuse for him while telling your friend that you still believe he'll change.
Is he worth it?
I see you, beautiful, looking into the darkness, wondering where he is and whatever happened to the two of you. Refusing to give up on the dream of him and you, yet wondering why you're the only one who seems to care.
Going through the emotional rollercoaster of the highs and lows of being in a relationship with someone like him.
You can't explain it; you love him so, no matter how he treats you, but you also know, deep down inside, that something isn't right. In your heart of hearts you know you deserve better than this, you know there's more to life than living like this, but he's got so much potential, so much of what you want, if only he would grow up.
If only he would realize how much he needs you. If only he would open his eyes to see all that you are and all that you have to offer him.
You've tried imagining life without him, you've tried to picture going it alone, again, you've tried to picture yourself finding that strength within to live the life you've dreamed of, but have found yourself stuffing into the background.
You're going to miss him too much, you say; it hurts too much to let him go. You need him. He's everything you've looking for in someone, if only he would commit to you. You're scared to let him go; he might be ready for that commitment just when you leave. You're scared to be without him. And scared to be with him, throwing your life away like this.
My question to you, my dear, beautiful friend, is this:
Is he worth it? Is he really worth it?
Dear Jane I love this article am also in the same situation we are married since 16yrs I never trust him he used to cheat but I always forgive him I put all my efforts to save this marriage but all in vain this the fourth time I came back to him am scared to leave him I found tht I love him he also does not want to divorce me this time we are giving each other a new start but he never come home on time n share anything about his work or life outside all this creates doubts in my mind. Please suggest me a solution. Can I trust him am also supporting him financially is this the reason he is not leaving me. I spend long time with him.
Find some professional marriage counseling for both of you, Pawan. You need all the support you can to help you through this and to make the best decision for you. If he's serious about making this work, he'll want to do this for him, too.
Worth it..
I like this article.. It always gives me a "aha" moment when i am feeling doubts
Or trying to figure it out..
I think that indeed a womens worth is something special. Man's too!
But don't we just sometimes forget our worth. From my experience I indeed can
Doubt or rethink moments.. This can make me insecure.
When I feel worth it, I do not doubt that much.
Because I know then that I am ok.. That I can have standards.
Even if my friends say I am picky. What is wrong with wanting a man. And not
Just every man. The one who you like to get to know & spend time with.
I Think no man is worth too many tears or feeling sorry. Eventually world goes on.
I see now that I find it difficult to accept my emotions & just let it go. Live on. I am worth it!
Is he worth my time and attention.. ? Then question can be sad... Do I find my time & my heart worthy ?
That is a very good question. I am going to think about it.
Good article jane! You really inspired me & gave me strength.
It's your answer to that question that tells you all that you need to know every time, Maris. So glad you enjoyed this one!
What if he says that his biggest fear is that I'm gonna change (I'm 25 and he's 35) and get bored of him and leave. Shouldn't I stay to prove him that he should'nt be afraid even if it's hard?
It sounds like this is his own issue or excuse to put the outcome of your relationship off him and onto you, April. Don't accept this. You have nothing to prove here. If you love him and he loves you and treats you the way you deserve to be treated, then stay, but not because you need to prove anything to him. Change is always a part of life, and we all know there are no absolute guarantees in love. If he has issues with trusting you and you haven't given him any reason to doubt you, he needs to address his own insecurities for himself. This is not yours to take on.
Thanks!
Good analogies Jane! People ask yourself, "Am I part of the problem...or part of the solution to changing the attitude and lifestyle of the opposite sex?" Obviously in these great examples, you're being part of the problem by condoning his behavior still 'being around' for him. I've seen it go both ways.
I love this insightful response - "...you're being part of the problem by condoning his behavior still 'being around' for him." His behavior and my principles were not matched. By staying with him, I was denying my own principles. I had to get out, but then I get going back. Now it's over so there's no going back and I'm in the grief process. Your comment really helped to speed up the process. Thank you.
Don't we all have this moment? What is still so hard to letgo is the what if - what if he comes around, what if he is just too occupied with his business. My thinking is to let time tell, and while we are in this void, we need to keep reminding ourselves that we are a fabulous diva, continue to live a great life of our own and that we definitely deserved to be treated with respect and love. If he cannot deliver these two basic components, then he is NOT worth it...
So true, Amy. I love how simply you put this. 🙂