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The Woman I Have to Thank for My 15 Year Marriage

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Scene two rings as symbol of fifteen years of marriage.
This week is my 15th wedding anniversary - and I have one person to thank for it.

I’d been looking for Mr. Right since I was a little girl.

Yes, I was one of those.

I grew up immersed in fairy tales, fantasizing about the day my prince would find me and make all my dreams come true.

The problem was, it didn't happen. At least not the way I thought it would. See, I wanted to be married at 18.

That was my goal.

Yes, that was actually the sole motivation for every single thing I did. Well, that and making a difference in the world, but even that was usually somehow related.

Every job I applied for, every opportunity I took advantage of, every place I traveled to, all of it was about finding love. And by finding love, I mean, finding HIM.

Except that my journey should have been called "Looking for love in all the wrong places" because that’s what it amounted to. Look for love in all the wrong places, from all the wrong people, with all the wrong motivation.Continue Reading

Is He The One For Me?

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A happy couple in love embrace outside.
How will I know if he's the one for me?

You want to know. No, you need to know.

Is he The One for me?

I get asked this question all the time. Did I know my husband was the one when we were dating? How long did it take before I knew for sure? And how do you know?

Is it the way he makes you feel?

Is it how he treats you?

Is it how much chemistry there is between you?

Well, I can tell you that when we first met, I didn’t know for sure. In fact, since we met twice (with a year and a half between the first and the second time) I can tell you that the first time I definitely didn’t know for sure.

But was it because of anything to do with him? Or was it more likely because I had learned from my long line of heartbreaking experiences with men that it takes more than a date or two to know for sure if anyone is the one?Continue Reading

Will It Be Worth It?

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Female hands holding a sand in form of the heart
Oh, it will be!

We don’t want to have to do anything. We just want it to work out.

We do everything we can to prove that we belong, that we’re in the right place, that he’s the right one for us. We play the part, we take on the role, we pour all our time and energy into making this our place.

Except that forcing something that isn’t meant to be forced - that doesn’t want to be forced - never works out in the end.

Because it can’t.

If we were already in the place that we’re going to come to, we’d recognize that we actually don’t want it to, either.Continue Reading

Before You Call, Text or Message Him...

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A beautiful woman looks at her phone, wondering if she should call him.
Make sure to do this BEFORE you do something you regret!

How do you say “you blew it!”?

How do you say “if only you had called me first!"

You don’t.

She already knows it.

I can assure her that he wasn’t the right one for her. I can try to convince her that someone who really was on the same page, wanted the same thing, was truly compatible with her, would have been able to overlook what she did or said.Continue Reading

Give This Up Instead

32 Comments

A beautiful woman is frustrated with her head in her hands.
It's taken its toll.

Wow.

I heard you. Loud and clear.

While my last post was intended to remind you of all that you are and all that you have to offer someone worthy of you – instead of comparing yourself to anyone else, I wasn’t prepared for the kind of response it invoked in many of you.

How you’re so long past comparing yourself that you’ve skipped right to the totally given up on… you.

On love. On any him.

Your words brought me back to that long lonely night. The dark night of the soul is how nights like that have been referred to. And that's exactly what it feels like. Those times where everything seems dark, where nothing seems like it’s ever going to change, where God, or the Universe, or whatever you happen to believe in seem to have turned their back on you.Continue Reading

She's You

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fantasy. woman in enigmatic meadow over cloudy sky
She has an important message for you...

She slowly comes into view.

Happy. Content. Peaceful.

You’ve been through it all. And now you’re there. He’s there with you. The one you thought you missed.

You didn’t.

The one you thought you’d never find.

You did.

The one you never dared to believe could find you.

And of course he found you.

How could he not?

All those things you thought were taking you away from all chances of ever finding him. They’re how he found you!Continue Reading

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