Finding your YOU that leads to TWO
Why would you want to stay with someone who doesn't want you?
Why would you insist you're getting something out of a relationship where you're getting nothing more than crumbs?
Why would you put yourself through this?
They don't understand. They can’t understand.
Because they’re not in it. You are. And when you're in it, there's nothing else to understand.
Except that you want him.
Except that you need him.
Except that you can't imagine your life without him.
Our beautiful friend, who has signed herself "Confusing Journey", has been on quite the journey indeed. She's wondering if he'll ever propose, or if this should really be the end. Read on for her story...
I have been with my boyfriend for 9 years. We met when we were 17 and 19.
We have had a great relationship, with some hiccups a long the way, him leaving, back together, me leaving... back together. The longest we ever separated for is 3 weeks though.
All of those issues occurred early in our relationship when we both were so young and we always worked through the issues. He is fun, but serious at the same time, a business major. His family says he has always been a 40 year old in a boy’s body. Lol.
He is confident and determined and is stable. I am outgoing and funny and care free. Kind of opposites, but I have seen his outgoing side and he has always been my rock.
Welllll, we were still not living together, but at our 7 year mark he decided that someone else had caught his attention and that he wanted to pursue this person.
He broke up with me and I was devastated to say the least, but in his defense he was completely up front and honest about it the whole time and 2 weeks went by of him in this limbo of does he want me, or does he want her.
Finally, I chose for him. I left for good.Continue Reading
What is it that keeps us putting up with things we never EVER in a million years imagined we'd be putting up with?
What has us turning a blind eye, not wanting to see the truth that's right there in front of us if we allow ourselves to see? What has us believing words when the actions – the proof – show us the real story?
What keeps us so in denial?
What keeps us constantly coming back for more?
What keeps us always looking at his potential instead of reality?
What keeps us continually going back and back again for more, in the hopes that this time it's going to finally be different?
Every single day my inbox fills up with your heartbreaking letters, detailing exactly how and why you gave like you did, why you overlooked everything you did, why you did everything you thought you're supposed to do when you've met someone who gives you so much of what you believe you're looking for.Continue Reading
I'm always struck by how much my clients and I have in common. Nowhere is this more evident than on the topic of unconditional love.
Ask any practical, logical person about it and they will have undoubtedly tell you that unconditional love is only something experienced by a parent towards a child. That it's not possible in any other relationship because it would require someone to be capable of loving someone else regardless of who they are or what they do or don't do.
And that, they would go on to say, isn't something we humans are truly capable of.
A religious or spiritual person would say that God - or what God represents to us - is the only one capable of truly loving us unconditionally. But for those of us who refuse to believe that unconditional love doesn't exist, no amount of logic or practical standpoints can quite shake the belief inside us that it does indeed exist.
But herein is my point: This is the precise reason why we're searching for it.Continue Reading
What's to love?
What really is so loveable about him?
Is it the way he treats you?
Is it because he behaves so lovingly towards you?
Or is it instead, because of the feeling you have when you're with him?
In that short time span, it feels like you've found everything you've ever wanted in a guy. The way he makes you feel. The excitement he brings to your life, your world, just by being with him. But is it really about him at all, or simply the feeling that you get from being around him because of everything you believe to be true about love, but what in reality, isn't about love, but about trying to make someone love you?Continue Reading
What is it really about?
What are we spending so much of our time and energy trying to find? We say it’s love, we’re looking for love, but what exactly does that mean? And as one reader asked me in her quest to understand this subject, how do you know you’re in love? How do you define the feeling?
For so many of us, we thought it was simple. You meet someone you feel all those excited feelings with, you’re attracted to them, you feel an attraction from them that tells you they feel something to, and you begin dating, getting to know each other better, and eventually commit to each other in an exclusive relationship which leads to marriage – if that’s what you’re looking for.
Except, if you’re like most of us here, that’s not how it went down. In fact, that’s not at all how it happened.
Instead, you had feelings, he had feelings, it felt like you were falling in love. You got to know each other better in this cultural thing we do called dating, and then suddenly – or so it seemed to you – something changed and he became emotionally distant.
He pulled away, created more distance and left you with a broken heart feeling like you still love him and the feelings are still there. For you, but not for him.
What is it about this picture of love that gets played over and over again regardless of who we are, regardless of who he is, regardless of how strong our feelings may be?Continue Reading
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