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You're too good for him, Girl.

32 Comments

A beautiful woman with her face in her hands because her self esteem is so low.
You have to ask yourself - are the tears worth it?

You're too kind for him, too compassionate for him, too understanding for him, too good for him, Girl.

Sure, he needs every bit of what you've got to offer him, but he's giving you nothing in return that's even close to what you're offering him. And yet all you're doing is justifying why those crumbs are worth you.

Stop justifying. Stop making excuses. Start looking at what's right there in front of you; the facts you already know.

Yes, I know. Facts are boring. Reality isn't exciting. And this one's potential offers so much more hope than anyone else you've been with so far.

Is crying yourself to sleep exciting? Is waiting for someone to come around exciting?

Is living in the future or the past because the present is too painful, the way you pictured love was going to be?

I meet way too many of you under the worst kind of circumstances, scraping the barrel for whatever crumbs you can still get from him. I see it so clearly for you because you can't see it when he's still all you can think about or cry about - but I'll tell you this.

I've been right there where I couldn't see it either and one of these days, just like me, you're going to see it so clearly too.

Oh girl, ask yourself this; is he really worth what you're putting yourself through?

Tell us in the comments below.

What do I do? He keeps giving me mixed signals!

22 Comments

Lonely sad beautiful woman feeling hurt and heartbroken holding phone because boyfriend has gone radio silent
I'm so confused by all this!

Ever wondered if you're the only one whose understanding and supportive qualities keep getting taken for a ride? You're not alone! Calleigh has her own story to share and I'm pretty sure you'll see something you can relate to in here.

Here's her story:

Hi Jane,

I met a guy at work four years ago. We hit it off right away and had an immediate connection. I've never been with someone who I liked so much and had so much in common and got along with. We started dating a few months later. Everything was just getting started when his parents started having health issues.

I stayed by him through everything.

We talked a few months later and he told me that because his parents were taking up so much of his time, we would have to have more of a friendship at the time. I agreed because I knew he had a lot going on and I wanted to be supportive.

He always acted like I was his girlfriend and would say things that only a boyfriend would say.Continue Reading

The Biggest Lie You Were Ever Told

29 Comments

A beautiful woman looks down, sad, wondering if her boyfriend is getting distant.
You give and you give. And then you give some more. Because they told you to.

I see you, you know. Maybe because I've been you.

He treats you like he's got so many options you should be lucky he's paying any attention to you, and what do you do? You give and you give. And then you give some more.

He's a no-show. You track him down to make sure he's okay and when he finally answers you, you tell him you're the one who's sorry.

He doesn't call when he says he will. You get tired of waiting and send him a message only to hear back from him hours later that he worked late or fell asleep. You empathize with him and tell him you're sorry. You hope he gets some sleep.

Even when he ends it, you're telling him you'll always care about him and always be there for him. He doesn't say anything like that to you.

Even as he's walking away, laughing behind your back to his friends as he tells them the story. Still caring, still trying, still pining, still care-taking for his emotions, his fragile ego, his wounded younger self.Continue Reading

What We All Need to Thrive

11 Comments

A group of smiling men and women being friendly and supportive of each other.
This is what we all really need.

There’s a word that keeps coming up.

On my calls. In my inbox. In the heartbreaking comments I read from you here on the blog and on social media.

I hear it when you tell me things like:

No one sees like you.

No one hears like you.

No one thinks like you.

No one feels like you.

You see what everyone else says to just ignore. Because you can’t ignore it!

You hear what everyone says is just you picking up on something that isn’t there. It doesn’t go away.Continue Reading

Programmed to be Nice

16 Comments

The word nice carved in wood.
Maybe being nice isn't the way to go.

We’ve been programmed to be so “nice” that it’s no wonder we’re confused. We have so very few role models to show us what it means!

So many of us were raised by mothers who either were always “nice” or eventually blew up into something that was anything but what they preached at us to be. And the same went for grandmothers, aunts, cousins, sisters.

You name it, we women have so much to learn about being confident, assertive, and yes, that word “nice”.

It’s about setting boundaries and teaching these men in our lives how to treat us so that we don’t get to the point where we blow up into something we’re not, which is often how we end up before we realize something needs to change.

Sound at all familiar? Continue Reading

What Should I Do? He Says He Wants to Slow Things Down

90 Comments

A woman is holding her head, exasperated, wondering why he wants to slow things down.
Things were going so well, but now he wants to slow things down!

One of our beautiful readers, who has asked to remain anonymous, is in a new relationship where the sparks were flying. After they were intimate, he has said that he wants to slow things down, and now she doesn't know what to do.

I've chosen to call her "Daisy", because she reminds me of all the beautiful spring flowers blooming right now, finding out just how beautiful – and how worthy – they truly are.

Naturally. In their own time.

Here's her email:

Hello,

I am very confused and don't know what to do.

I met someone and we hit it off right away. We talk on the phone every day, go to dinner when we get the chance (we live far from each other so don't get to go on dates as much as we would like) and have a strong connection.

After about a month he invited me over his home to spend the night. He told me he wants to be with me and that he really likes me.

We ended up sleeping together.Continue Reading

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About Jane Garapick

Hi, I'm Jane Garapick. I'm here to provide inspiration, support and empowerment on the journey to true love. I know what it’s like to have a broken heart, a broken dream, and a broken you. And I know for a fact, that your dreams can still come true! Read more...
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