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Am I Blocking Love?

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A beautfiul woman is feeling anxiety over asking for what she needs.
I think I may be sabotaging my own love life.

Our letter this week comes from Maya, who's wondering if she may be blocking love from her life.

Here's what she had to say and my response:

Hello Jane,

Thank you for all the great emails and answers I have read till now. They are really helpful to get more and more insight.

I would really like to know your idea about this since I feel I need an outer perspective.

In short, a bit of my background.

Growing up I became a people-pleaser to avoid violence. And I got scared and always looked outside myself for love, running after men. Of course with the wrong results.

Went from abusive men to boring men.Continue Reading

We Had Amazing Chemistry but I Haven't Heard From Him in 4 Days!

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Rear view of a woman holding the curtains open to look out of a large light window at home.
Should I reach out to him or not?

Our letter this week highlights one of the dilemmas so many of us have encountered before. Amazing physical chemistry and, well, some other things that aren't exactly amazing - or even acceptable.

That's the subject of today's letter, and like most of us who've been here before, it feels just a little too familiar.

Here's her story:

Hi Jane,

I’ve been dating this guy for two months. Sparks flew immediately.

I’m 32 and he’s 33. He’s a resident Pathology physician and I work at the same hospital, but in different departments.

We have amazing physical chemistry and we would text each other constantly throughout the day and evening.  He would tell me that I make him nervous and that he thinks about me all the time.Continue Reading

Why Didn't He Call?

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Angry woman stood up on a date in a coffee shop looking at her phone
I thought we really hit it off, but I haven't heard from him!

Our letter this week comes from Ingrid, who really hit it off with her physiotherapist and thought he was interested, but now it seems like he was just sending her mixed messages, and she's wondering why he never contacted her.

Here's her email:

Hi Jane,

I am following your newsletter and offers already for a while and wanted to throw in a question this time, I really feel confused about:

I met a nice guy in a clinic, he was one of the physiotherapists in a responsible position. I had some treatments with him, massages, group sports, baths...

He began flirting with me, I flirted back.

For six weeks we met up very often, there was a lot of chemistry, glances, smiles, compliments and fun. Although it was really difficult to get in touch on a private level (almost never time together alone) he finally even initiated some talks with me - although the staff-members at that clinics were not allowed to get in touch with the patients.Continue Reading

Dating a Married Man

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Close up of womans hand using mobile phone on a bokeh background, symbolizing that her boyfriend doesn't text her.
He still texts me every day.

There are many things I could say about becoming involved with married men, mainly to say don't.

If you want a prescription for heartache (not to mention the moral and ethical guilt that comes along with it), that's a sure one with someone who's involved with someone else, let alone married to them.

But regardless of these moral and ethical issues, the fact remains that I hear from many women who, for various reasons, become involved with men who are married. I'm responding to one of these letters today and hopefully my response with help those of you who are asking the same thing she's asking here, too.

Her story:

Hi Jane,

I was desperately unhappy (have recently become divorced) in my marriage when I surprisingly connected on Social Media with a man I knew many, many years ago.  We were at the same school, but I really didn’t know him well then.

He lives in another county, so we hadn’t even crossed paths apart from innocently liking each other’s photos etc.Continue Reading

It Feels Like There's No Spark Anymore

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Couple not talking after a fight on the sofa in living room at home
He’s always on his phone or watching Netflix.

Our letter this week comes from Julie, who's feeling like the man she's in a relationship with just wants someone by his side rather than having the emotional ties of a relationship. Here's her story. I know many of you will recognize just how familiar it feels to you, too.

Her Story:

Hello! I just got to your blog and read the majority of the questions posted. I wanted to ask for something I wanted to look for that wasn’t answered. Here we go.

So my boyfriend of 7 months broke up last month. But we got back together and went into 7 months a week ago. However, ever since we got back together , he barely texts or calls me.

Whenever I try to reach out I get messages every 2 or more hours. Today was the only day he was free and we could’ve talked all day but he has not done so.Continue Reading

Is It Right to Go With Him When He's Breaking My Heart?

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A beautiful woman is sipping coffee while talking with a man over lunch, wondering why she's not getting what she wants in a relationship.
Should I take this trip with him even though he broke up with me?

Our letter this week comes all the way from Greece, from beautiful Gc, who's looking for some advice on whether she should go on a trip that was planned in advance with a guy who's breaking her heart with the knowledge that he just wants to be friends.

Here's her story:

Hi Jane,

So first of all let me introduce myself. I'm 29 years old and I come from a small island of Greece.

Before a year, I was at a friend's wedding here at our beautiful  island. My friend that was getting married was from the USA and had the wedding here because of his mother that she is born here too. So I met this guy that was the best men at the wedding also from the States and he approached me the night of the wedding party.Continue Reading

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