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He Ghosted Me. What happened?

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Close up of womans hand using mobile phone on a bokeh background, symbolizing that her boyfriend doesn't text her.
I haven't heard back in more than a week.

What do you do when the guy you've been seeing for three months ghosts you and just disappears?

Poof. Nothing. He ghosted you!

That's what happened to Anna who wrote me last week with two words in her subject line.

What happened?

I know exactly what happened and I'm going to tell her and you below.

But first, here's her story:

Hi Jane,

I've been in contact with this guy who showed all signs of interest and said such sweet things to me. Things said at a start of a relationship.

Though we talked on the phone it would be at long intervals and I noticed I was the one initiating each conversation but he was always happy to talk to me. We did not meet in person a lot, about 4 times in 3 months.Continue Reading

How soon should I have the talk?

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Close up of a woman using mobile smart phone, wondering why she was ghosted and he suddenly stopped texting.
He only texts or calls if I text first.

If you're wondering when it's the right time to have 'the talk', you're not alone. Ella wrote to me asking for my advice on when to have this talk with her guy. Read on to hear what I had to say.

Her Story:

I have been talking to a guy that I met in an event for three weeks now. He lives in a different country, an hour flight away. Every time we talk it lasts for hours and he always mentions how much he enjoys talking to me. We both shared secrets and spoke about work family friends etc.

My issue is, I feel like I'm always the one initiating the conversation.

I would send a text like “hey good morning” or “how was your weekend” and he’d usually respond by calling or texting me to tell me that he would call me when he’s back home.. and we’d end up talking for hours! I know we both enjoy talking to each other, and he does show interest every time I reach out but my pride is getting the best of me for always making the first move.

Also he called me yesterday and said that he would call me today on his way back home from work but it’s already 10:00 pm. He did tell me that he has a relative over and will be busy this month. But he could’ve apologized or rescheduled.Continue Reading

I Am So Tired of Men Ghosting Me!

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Woman text messaging on her phone
His texts got less and less, then suddenly nothing.

With everything going on in our world right now, I debated whether to answer a letter like usual this week, or send you some comforting words, and I've decided to continue on here as much as normal since many of you are still having the same issues with your relationships even in the midst of a pandemic.

Next week, thanks to one of your suggestions, I'll have some tips on dating in the era of #stayhome and how to not drive yourself crazy being alone!

I hope you're all taking good care of yourselves, staying home as much as you can, and finding support here for all your beautiful hearts and souls that feel everything. I adore each and every one of you for exactly who you are, whether that be scared, anxious, worried or whatever you feel today.

I run the gamut of emotions, too.

If there's something you're going through that you're not finding addressed here, please don't hesitate to reach out or reply to this email. We will get through this the only way we ever do anything well - together.

So that said, our letter this week comes from Michelle, who's sick and tired of men ghosting her. Can you relate? I had a feeling you could.

Here's her story:

Hi Jane,

I am so tired of men walking into my life and then leaving for no reason. I honestly am starting to think something is wrong with me.Continue Reading

He Ignores My Messages

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A woman looks at her phone wondering why he stopped texting.
He suddenly stopped messaging or even responding to me!

Our letter today comes from one of our beautiful readers around the world, who I'll call Louisa.

She's wondering about the behaviour of a guy she's been in contact with for two and a half months, after meeting him doing an archaelogical dig.

Regardless of where in the world you are, I think you'll find the same thing I've discovered in getting to know so many of you; that there are others just like you, with the same beautiful hearts and souls, everywhere on this beautiful planet of ours. I hope hearing from these women each week helps remind you of that, and makes you feel a little less ashamed to be you and a whole lot less alone.

Here's her story:

Hi Jane,

I have met a guy during archaeological excavations. We liked each other and we said that to each other.

We have a lot in common, but we kept some distance, not becoming very close with each other because we knew we would be separated soon in our countries and that would be sad.Continue Reading

He Completely Dropped Off the Face of the Planet

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Close up of a woman using mobile smart phone, wondering why she was ghosted and he suddenly stopped texting.
I haven't heard from him since.

Beautiful Sami writes to tell us her story of being ghosted by her relatively new long-distance boyfriend, and she's wondering what could have happened.

Read on for her story, along with my response:

Hi Jane,

I started seeing a guy who lives in a different state than me a few months ago. I've seen him three times in person, and those three times we were with each other almost non stop for days.

He even came to visit me one weekend and again, we were with each other the entire time. It was amazing.

When we weren't together, we would text constantly, every single day. He was usually the one who started the conversations, but I would start them occasionally, attempting to let him know that I was just as interested in talking to him as he was interested in talking to me.Continue Reading

It Feels Like There's No Spark Anymore

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Couple not talking after a fight on the sofa in living room at home
He’s always on his phone or watching Netflix.

Our letter this week comes from Julie, who's feeling like the man she's in a relationship with just wants someone by his side rather than having the emotional ties of a relationship. Here's her story. I know many of you will recognize just how familiar it feels to you, too.

Her Story:

Hello! I just got to your blog and read the majority of the questions posted. I wanted to ask for something I wanted to look for that wasn’t answered. Here we go.

So my boyfriend of 7 months broke up last month. But we got back together and went into 7 months a week ago. However, ever since we got back together , he barely texts or calls me.

Whenever I try to reach out I get messages every 2 or more hours. Today was the only day he was free and we could’ve talked all day but he has not done so.Continue Reading

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