pull away

Is He Losing Interest?

Beautiful Mia writes to tell us about her fear that her boyfriend of 2 years may be losing interest in her.

Here's her email:

Hi Jane,

First of all, I just wanted to say I love reading all the advice you give, even when it’s not relevant to me. You have such an addictively soothing way with words!

I was hoping you could give me some advice about my relationship of almost 2 years.

When we first met, my boyfriend and I hit it off immediately. We were so excited to talk, text, call, and arrange dates with each other as much as possible.Continue Reading

Don't Ask Him Why He's Pulling Away

37 Comments

A woman is upset after her boyfriend told her he wants to slow things down. — This is why you can't ask him why he's pulling away.

You close the door behind you. You’re safe now.

Safe.

The tears can flow, your heart can break. You’re there alone.

One more act of proof. One more thing you can’t deny.

Something has changed. And no, you don’t know why.

He talks differently, responds differently, communicates differently, acts differently, everything feels different than the way it used to be.Continue Reading

He Says He Wants to Take It Slow

5 Comments

Speedometer showing too fast signifying a relationship. — Are we moving too fast?

Beautiful Ollie writes in to tell her story of her boyfriend who came on very strong in the beginning, but now wants to take a step back and slow things down.

Here's what she wrote:

I am a single mum of an 8 year old.

I met this guy for a coffee 2 months ago (we're both in our late 40's). We talked for hours, I never felt so comfortable and connected with someone, it was incredible.

The same afternoon, he came over to my place (I invited him) to show me some of his legal documents as he is in the middle of fighting custody of his children with his ex and I work in the legal area. He just needed to understand some forms.

While I was going through the documents, he played with my daughter. They had a blast together.

For the following days, he would text me first thing in the morning, ring me midday to see how my day was going, texting me before going to bed for a chat and goodnight. He popped by once or twice a week to say 'hi', play with my kid and have coffee with me.Continue Reading

First He Pursued, Then He Dropped Me Like a Hot Brick

6 Comments

A beautiful woman with her face in her hands because her self esteem is so low. — I opened my heart to this man.

Today I’ll be answering a question that beautiful Jenny sent in. She tells her heart wrenching story of betrayal from a guy who pursued her, told her everything she wanted to hear, only to suddenly pull away, growing cold and distant.

So what happened?

Here's her story:

OK, well here I am in my late forties and I was discarded by my husband three years ago. Devastation followed.

Two men since that and they were not the right ones for me as they eroded my self-esteem hugely so I ended it with both of them. I recently lost everything, my home, job, financial status due to my ex-husbands stupidity and running away leaving, me to deal with everything.

The guy who moved me warmed to me instantly, we seemed to have a connection right from the start.Continue Reading

I'm Having a Hard Time Moving On

19 Comments

Beautiful woman sad sitting on the window sill and painting on glass feeling heartbroken because it's hard to move on. — I know I need to let go, but it's hard to move on.

The letter this week comes from our gorgeous friend Gigi, who's finding it hard to move on and let go of a guy she felt she had immediate physical chemistry with.

Here's her story:

I began dating a man right before Christmas.

We both agreed to just see where things went, but we had an immediate physical chemistry. So we had sex on the second date.

We saw each other three to four times a week for HOURS at a time. Not always sex, so I began to really like him.

Then I asked him if he was seeing anyone else because I wanted to make sure we were still on equal footing. He said he was and assumed I was. I told him that I was communicating with other men, but had not actually gone on any dates with them. I assumed this was a casual date or two with this other woman because he said he wasn't in a place to get exclusive as he was trying to find a new job.

For two weeks I continued to see him and sleep with him- basically hoping he would choose me. I got needy and wondered if he was with her...tried not to mention it to him, but I"m sure it was obvious by my moods.

He told me that we needed to stop having sex because it was messing with my mind. He didn't think it was right. Then he said it wasn't fair to HER to go out with her and then come home to me. He had taken HER to parties and out with his friends and his grown kids.

I felt like a slut.Continue Reading

How Do I Get Him Back?

27 Comments

Lonely woman missing her boyfriend while swinging in the park in the morning — I just want it back the way it was.

There's nothing more heart wrenching, more gut wrenching, than hearing from you when you’ve lost him, when he’s gone. There's nothing that speaks more to my heart and to the heart of every other woman who’s been there before. It all comes back.

The longing.

The trying.

The hoping.

The planning.

The desperate attempts to get him back.

But what if we could attempt it without being desperate? What if we could draw strength from who we are, from everything we know we could be if only our anxiousness and desperation didn’t get in the way?

What if we could pick ourselves up, dust ourselves up, take that deep breath and resolve to do it differently this time around?Continue Reading

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Is He Losing Interest?

Here's her email:

Don't Ask Him Why He's Pulling Away

He Says He Wants to Take It Slow

Here's what she wrote:

First He Pursued, Then He Dropped Me Like a Hot Brick

Here's her story:

I'm Having a Hard Time Moving On

Here's her story:

How Do I Get Him Back?

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