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He Ghosted Me. What happened?

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Close up of womans hand using mobile phone on a bokeh background, symbolizing that her boyfriend doesn't text her.
I haven't heard back in more than a week.

What do you do when the guy you've been seeing for three months ghosts you and just disappears?

Poof. Nothing. He ghosted you!

That's what happened to Anna who wrote me last week with two words in her subject line.

What happened?

I know exactly what happened and I'm going to tell her and you below.

But first, here's her story:

Hi Jane,

I've been in contact with this guy who showed all signs of interest and said such sweet things to me. Things said at a start of a relationship.

Though we talked on the phone it would be at long intervals and I noticed I was the one initiating each conversation but he was always happy to talk to me. We did not meet in person a lot, about 4 times in 3 months.Continue Reading

What the Mirror Means for You

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Beautiful woman looking into a mirror.
THIS is why he has such a conflicted relationship with you.

You hold it up to see what it reveals.

You can't help it.

It's not just what you do. It's who you are.

You bring light to what never had light before.

You reveal what was always kept hidden before.

THIS is why he has such a conflicted relationship with you.

It's why he's half in and half 0ut.

It's why he gives you such mixed signals.

You're that good. That kind. That loving. That compassionate. That graceful.Continue Reading

What do I do? He keeps giving me mixed signals!

22 Comments

Lonely sad beautiful woman feeling hurt and heartbroken holding phone because boyfriend has gone radio silent
I'm so confused by all this!

Ever wondered if you're the only one whose understanding and supportive qualities keep getting taken for a ride? You're not alone! Calleigh has her own story to share and I'm pretty sure you'll see something you can relate to in here.

Here's her story:

Hi Jane,

I met a guy at work four years ago. We hit it off right away and had an immediate connection. I've never been with someone who I liked so much and had so much in common and got along with. We started dating a few months later. Everything was just getting started when his parents started having health issues.

I stayed by him through everything.

We talked a few months later and he told me that because his parents were taking up so much of his time, we would have to have more of a friendship at the time. I agreed because I knew he had a lot going on and I wanted to be supportive.

He always acted like I was his girlfriend and would say things that only a boyfriend would say.Continue Reading

I Like Him But He Just Wants to be Friends

8 Comments

A group of male and female friends are out together socially at a restaurant.
He acts like he likes me but says he just wants to be friends.

Where have we heard that before? It's an all too familiar one for most of us. And that's our letter writer's story this week, one of our beautiful readers who wants to remain Anonymous, so I'm calling her Lee. She likes a guy who only wants to be friends so she's wondering what to do.

Her letter:

So the thing is.... I like a guy from my school and he is amazing. Well, we talk a lot and we even text often.

But at the end of the day when I tell him I like him, he says he still wants us to be friends. I don't know what to do.

-Lee

My response:

Continue Reading

Is He An Emotionally Immature Man?

4 Comments

A man leans in towards a woman he's interested in.
Why did he make it seem like he was interested?

Beautiful Sun tells us about a guy at work who's been giving her some serious mixed signals, and she's not understanding his behavior.

Here's her story:

There is this guy who joined my floor at work.

From the onset he would make a point to make sure he would get my attention by stopping and looking directly at me, nod his head and smile at me. He would do this regularly, but never speak when I would return his nod with a "hello".

He eventually started saying hello, he even stopped me while I was passing by to ask something general.

His stares would become more intense and he kept his stare when I made eye contact with him, at which point he would smile. One time when I passed by his desk he said, " l am going to bother you every time you pass by." I responded, "I am okay with that."

He would just say hello when I passed by his desk, or he would suddenly drop his phone from his hands, move away from his desk and make eye contact to stop me to talk. He would even get up from his desk frantically when I would engage in a conversation with him.Continue Reading

I'm Getting Mixed Signals - Is He Into Me?

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A group of male and female friends are out together socially at a restaurant.
Sometimes he seems interested, other times he'll totally ignore me.

Our letter this week comes from beautiful Jaime, who's getting mixed signals from a man she's interested in and she's wondering if he's into her or not.

Here's her letter:

Hi Jane,

I've been getting mixed signals from this man that works at the same place as me that I find attractive for a couple of months now. One minute I'm absolutely sure he's into me, the next he's ignoring me completely.

I wasn't quite sure how to handle the situation so I left it at that. But then he tells my friend he finds me attractive even though we still don't interact much outside of work related matters.

He apparently is always inquiring about me so she arranged for a night out with people from work including him.

We talked a little "group conversation" about work mostly, exes, etc. - whatever topic someone brought up. I again concluded based on the way the night went that he wasn't into me and put it behind me.Continue Reading

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