Getting to TRUE Love

Finding your YOU that leads to TWO

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What Is Love?

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text love on black background
What does it mean to you?

What does love mean to you?

Yes, really. What does love mean to you?

This thing that you find so elusive, that comes and goes in ways you never seem to see coming. This thing you’ve banked all your hopes and dreams on. This thing you’d give anything to experience firsthand.

Is it love?

Or is it the idea of love you’re chasing after?

I ask this only because I thought I was looking for love.

I’d have argued ostensibly with anyone who tried to tell me otherwise. And yet when I finally figured out what had been going wrong with every single one of my relationships, I realized I had only been looking for my own idea of love.Continue Reading

A Few Things We All Need to Do

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Beautiful, happy, smiling woman lying on the field in green grass.
Smile. You'll change the world.

You say you're done with all the rest.

You say you're ready to find the love you've been searching for, like, forever.

But do you really mean it?

It's time to start living like you mean what you say!

No more excuses, no more putting your love life on hold while the days slip away.

Yes, it's going to require some work on your part. But this is one where you set the pace. How quickly you want this to happen for you is completely up to you!

It's time to start paying attention – really listening - to that self-talk you do every day. Start noticing everything you do and say that isn't the truth about you. Everything that's someone else's version of you, someone else's story that's been put on you.Continue Reading

What No One Ever Tells You About Real Love

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Close up of man and woman holding hands in the sunset.
It's the part about real love they left out.

I wasn’t real.

They, on the other hand, might have been. But I would never know.

Because until I was able to get real, nothing was real. What I came face to face with was the reality that I didn’t know how to be real. I was too busy trying to be perfect.

Trying to figure out what it was they wanted me to be and then being that. Trying to prove my worthiness, my perfectness, my "perfect girlfriend-ness".

That’s all I knew. And that’s what I thought mattered.

I knew I wanted someone to choose me, to make me feel like something. To give a life to fit into. To give me a world to fit into and a role to play. To give me the instruction sheet on how to do a relationship.

Just tell me what you want me to be and I’ll be it.  Continue Reading

Confused, Hopeless and Ready to Give Up

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A beautiful woman sits on a bench, looking discouraged, wondering if it will ever work out.
I’m getting to the point where I feel like I might as well give up.

One of our beautiful readers, Abbie, writes to tell us about the confusion she's feeling with all the different dating advice out there.

Here's her email:

Dear Jane,

I’m so confused.

There are so many rules out there, I’m having a hard time figuring out what I need to listen to and what I don’t.

I keep working on myself, reading up on what I need to do, but I’m getting to the point where I feel like I might as well give up on ever finding someone because for all the work I do on myself, it never seems to be enough!

Then I end up feeling like there’s something wrong with me because nothing ever works out like it’s supposed to.

Can you help me?

-AbbieContinue Reading

They Don’t Understand

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A woman sits alone on a swing looking at the sunset.
You simply can't imagine your life without him.

Why would you want to stay with someone who doesn't want you?

Why would you insist you're getting something out of a relationship where you're getting nothing more than crumbs?

Why would you put yourself through this?

They don't understand. They can’t understand.

Because they’re not in it. You are. And when you're in it, there's nothing else to understand.

Except that you want him.

Except that you need him.

Except that you can't imagine your life without him.

Continue Reading

The Common Denominator

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The word love written in twigs against bark with a red rose on top.
What does it really mean?

What is it that keeps us putting up with things we never EVER in a million years imagined we'd be putting up with?

What has us turning a blind eye, not wanting to see the truth that's right there in front of us if we allow ourselves to see? What has us believing words when the actions – the proof – show us the real story?

What keeps us so in denial?

What keeps us constantly coming back for more?

What keeps us always looking at his potential instead of reality?

What keeps us continually going back and back again for more, in the hopes that this time it's going to finally be different?

Every single day my inbox fills up with your heartbreaking letters, detailing exactly how and why you gave like you did, why you overlooked everything you did, why you did everything you thought you're supposed to do when you've met someone who gives you so much of what you believe you're looking for.Continue Reading

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