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That thing you said. That thing you did.

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A beautiful woman with her face in her hands because her self esteem is so low.
You just can't let it go.

You can't sleep.

It's that thing you said. It's that thing you did.

You can't let it go.

And it's not just what you said or did; it's how messed up everything became after.

You beat yourself up. Again.

You think about apologizing for the bazillionth time. Again.

If you could put a finger on it, you'd realize what you really can't let go of isn't really that thing you said or did; it's that all you want is for someone to just, for once, have some grace and compassion and understanding for you.

Yes, you.Continue Reading

I'm So Confused!

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A woman is looking up at question marks above her head.
Am I being over sensitive and reading too much into it?

Our letter this week comes from one of our beautiful subscribers, Angela, who finds herself confused over the hot and cold behavior of her boyfriend of two months.

Here's her story:

Hi Jane,

I have been seeing a man for almost 2 months. He is a truck driver and is on the road a lot. He has 2 children; one is much older (an adult), the other is young son. He sees him every other weekend.

In the beginning we spent hours and hours a day on the phone. Talking about everything imaginable. Things from our childhoods (both good and horrible things). We talked about past relationships and divorces. We talked  about our children and things they are into and things we do with them as a family.

We talked about sexual things and sent risqué pictures to each other. We would say we miss each other, can't wait to see each other, and give compliments on each other's pictures and how beautiful we think each other is.

We also sent regular pictures such as places he was driving through and things our kids were doing. Pictures of just our faces.Continue Reading

What if You CAN'T Let Go?

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A beautiful woman is sad because she's spending the holidays alone.
Sometimes the quick fix just doesn't work.

What if you don't let go?

What if you don't get over it?

What if you don't get over him?

You say you have to, that THEY say you have to, that it's in your best interest.

But what about you?

You know why so many women and men find me after they've been through all the advice and heard all the shoulds of what they're supposed to do, only to find it's not working for them?

Because the quick fix, get over him, block him, let go, move on type of advice only works if you're actually there yourself.

Otherwise, you're left with one big gaping hole in your heart, because all you’ve done is follow the instruction of someone who was never you, who's never known what it's like to be your own heart and soul.Continue Reading

I Really Don’t Want to Let Go

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Beautiful woman sad sitting on the window sill and painting on glass feeling heartbroken because it's hard to move on.
I have never met someone so compatible with me.

Ever met someone you liked so much right away? And the more you got to know him, the more you liked him, the more compatible you thought you were until that's all you could see? Our letter this week is from beautiful Cindy who's going through this now, and a whole lot more.

Here's her story:

Hi Jane,

I’m going through a very heartbreaking, difficult time now.

I have been dating this guy for 5 months. We had a lot in common and we really got along together. We spent every weekend together since our first date. He’s the one I’ve been looking for, and I like everything about him. The more I know about him, the more I like him.

I even seen him as a potential partner.Continue Reading

He's Stuck On His Ex

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A beautiful woman sits on a couch away from her boyfriend, wondering if she can live with this.
It hurts so much, but I don't want to lose him!

Our letter this week comes from one of our beautiful readers I'm calling Sandy. I'll let her tell you her story below.

Here's her story:

I met a wonderful man this last summer and we immediately hit it off. We are both in our 50's and I cannot begin to explain to you how many things we have in common, how often we laugh together, and our communication has been amazing.

We love to just spend time together.

He tells me he loves me something terribly and I feel the same way. It’s one of those type of relationships where everything is perfect for the both of us, EXCEPT one thing.  We both agreed and still agree to this day we have something special, we are best friends.

He was married for 21 years and after he divorced, he dated another woman for a year and a half. It was a toxic relationship and ended one sided several times with her leaving him.Continue Reading

Ready to Let Go and Move On? Ask Yourself This First

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A woman is looking up at question marks above her head.
You need your answers. You need to find out why.

There's something you need to know.

If you're not ready to move on from someone, if all you want is to be with him, regardless of how he's treating you right now, because you believe in him and who he is underneath the outside veneer, because you love this man no matter how dysfunctional a love it is, then nothing you do to try to move on or get over him is going to work.

Nothing.

You'd only be fighting yourself in the process.

It's so important for you to understand this because telling yourself it's not working, that you can't move on, that what people are telling you to do, like going no contact or seeking therapy, won't work anyway because you tried that before, only becomes true if what you're currently doing is actually working for you.

I've been there.

Continue Reading

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