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Taking Off the Mask

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Beautiful woman with a carnival mask.
Sometimes we don't even realize we're wearing a mask.

You’ve been told so many things.

You’ve been told who to be. You’ve been told what to say. And you’ve been told that it all matters IF you want to find love.

You’ve been told so many stories so that you’d see why someone else knows so much more than you do. You’ve been told to trust, to have faith, to listen to what someone else knows.

After all, you’re single, right? Or worse, you’re in love with an emotionally unavailable man who can’t seem to commit. Or maybe you’re involved with a married man who can’t seem to give you anything more than empty promises.

But whatever your situation, there’s one thing you’ve got in common with everyone else who’ve been told all these things; you’re scared. Underneath the hurt, the anger, the frustration, the pain, you’re afraid it’s never going to happen again.

You’re afraid it’s never going to change.Continue Reading

The Undeniable Power of "Yes"

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A beautiful woman rising up from the grassy field with her hands in the air proclaiming Yes!
There’s a power here you can’t imagine.

When we’ve tried again and again and it still hasn’t worked, when we’re so tired of having to explain why it happened again to the same people we had told this time was different, it’s hard to feel passionate about anything.

And yet this is what love and life asks of us.

Are we sure? Is this what we really want?

There are few actions we can choose to take that will elicit the power of everything around us more than the power of saying “yes.”

Far too often we find ourselves saying “I guess so” or “maybe” out of fear, out of uncertainty or out of our need to know the end result first before diving in.

Our first reaction may be indignation or even anger at even the suggestion that we might not know what we want or be sure enough.Continue Reading

I Absolutely Need a Man to Make Me Happy, and I Feel POWERLESS

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A beautiful woman sits on a couch at home alone, feeling sad that she doesn't have a boyfriend.
I'm secretly so lonely and depressed when I'm not with a man.

One of our magnificent readers Liz, is feeling utterly powerless...

Here's her story:

Hi Jane! First of all, I LOVE your site. Thanks for always being honest, helpful, and down to earth.

Given that, I'm hoping you can help me here.

I want SO badly to be that happy, independent, empowered single woman. I should be happy - I have my dream career, a social life, close friends and family, and my own hobbies.Continue Reading

Small Changes, Big Differences

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2015 is your year for finding love.
Let's make 2015 the year to have the kind of love you want!

Welcome to 2015, gorgeous! I hope that you had a wonderful holiday season celebrating love, joy, and abundance in whatever method you've chosen for your life.

As you know, I love the feeling of freshness, change and the endless possibilities for positive transformation that the idea of a new year brings.

But as much as I’ll always be the eternal optimist, I've also come to see the necessity of bringing in that realist perspective as well, and so I know that this idea of making huge changes in our lives all at once can seem overwhelming and a bit daunting.

And it also sets us up for one thing, and one thing only:

Failure.

So today I want to give you a few thoughts that will help you avoid failure this year by changing your mindset right from the start.

The key to any kind of lasting change is something that you've heard me talk about a lot here on the blog:Continue Reading

How Your 9 Year Old Self Ruined Your Love Life

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Young girl holding flowers looking at the sunset with hearts floating away.
She didn't know...

I'll be the first to agree that sometimes our "aha" moments come to us in the most unusual of places.

Like recently, when I was sitting in the audience at our local high school annual holiday concert.  Listening to the beautiful music being played and sung by these talented young students in the band, the choir, and the orchestra, I realized I had lived my own student years in all the wrong places.

Here in this place where the music touched my soul and made me feel like everything was all right in the world (and especially with me!) it all suddenly became so clear.

With a clarity I never had before, I realized exactly what happened during those formative years that now seem so long ago.

You see, without even knowing it, the words from my older, popular sister (who I secretly aspired to be like) had influenced where I went, where I didn't go, who I was friends with, and who I wasn't friends with.

Five years before me, when my older sister entered high school and had the option to choose band and choir or art and drama, I had overheard her and her friends referring to all the kids who took art and drama as cool and popular, while the ones taking band and choir were described as the opposite.

I never forgot their words.Continue Reading

Why It's Critically Important to Keep an Open Mind

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A beautiful brunette woman is smiling and talking on her cell phone trying to keep an open mind
Unless you’ve already tried it and know for sure it’s not for you, why not give it a try? You might just find something (or someone) you love.

Don’t be too quick to turn down an invitation.

So what happens when your new friend from the Save the Manatees call center asks you if you want to join her for some country-western line dancing this weekend?

You think to yourself, I’m not a country-western girl.

Well, are you sure?

This is where it gets a little tricky – I mean, if you’ve tried the country-western thing, and you just can’t stand the music, or the cowboy hats, or whatever, then by all means be true to yourself and politely decline (but maybe recommend something different).

But if you’ve never really given country music a chance, and hey, you know, you do like dancing – well then, why not?

Give it a try.

You might just find out that you love it.Continue Reading

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