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He says he needs space. What do I do now?

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Sad woman hugging her emotionally unavailable boyfriend and looking down.
I'm terrified he won't come back.

Our letter today comes from Cyndi, who's wondering what to do when her boyfriend said he needs space to figure things out, and she can't stop thinking about him. Sound familiar?

Here's her letter and my response:

Hi Jane,

My boyfriend asked for some space from the relationship to figure things out. Not contacting him is so so difficult and I’m terrified that he won’t come back. I know I need to take this time to focus on myself but it’s all I’m thinking about right now.

What do I do?

-  Cyndi

My Response:

Of course that's all you can think about right now, Cyndi. He's the one who asked for space, not you. You wanted things to keep progressing. You weren't expecting this. Continue Reading

I Feel Like I'm Always Initiating Contact

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A beautiful woman lies in bed looking at her cell phone, wondering why he disappeared and won't answer her texts.
I miss him but I feel like I should wait for him to contact me.

One of our beautiful readers, who I'll call Sarah, is feeling like she's on the wrong side of a one-sided long distance relationship.

Here's her story:

My boyfriend and I have been dating just coming up on 6 months. He is nothing like anyone I've ever dated before and that's what I found most appealing.

Now he just moved to the Middle East for a new job, and I'm here in the U.S. and our communication isn't as I hoped anymore.

Full disclosure I told him I loved him before he left..and I knew beforehand so it wasn't just because he was leaving. When I agreed to tell him I was fully prepared for him not to return the sentiment so when he said thank you, I was kind of okay with it.Continue Reading

I'm Getting Mixed Signals - Is He Into Me?

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A group of male and female friends are out together socially at a restaurant.
Sometimes he seems interested, other times he'll totally ignore me.

Our letter this week comes from beautiful Jaime, who's getting mixed signals from a man she's interested in and she's wondering if he's into her or not.

Here's her letter:

Hi Jane,

I've been getting mixed signals from this man that works at the same place as me that I find attractive for a couple of months now. One minute I'm absolutely sure he's into me, the next he's ignoring me completely.

I wasn't quite sure how to handle the situation so I left it at that. But then he tells my friend he finds me attractive even though we still don't interact much outside of work related matters.

He apparently is always inquiring about me so she arranged for a night out with people from work including him.

We talked a little "group conversation" about work mostly, exes, etc. - whatever topic someone brought up. I again concluded based on the way the night went that he wasn't into me and put it behind me.Continue Reading

Should I Initiate Contact?

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A woman looks at her phone while texting.
Here's how to know when you should (and shouldn't) initiate contact.

You’ve asked everyone you know, and even some you don’t. You’ve Googled it. You’ve read article after article to find your answer and still the answer seems to elude you. It either doesn’t sit right, isn’t you, or sounds too complicated.

There’s a reason you’re confused. It IS confusing!

You hear stories of women who made that initial contact and now they’re happily married! You hear of other women who never EVER initiated any contact, and now they’re happily married, too! Then there’s the in-between stories of the ones who initiated sometimes, and others who only initiated once in a while.

So here you are trying to figure out which one is right, which one is wrong, and which one is right for you, and it’s no wonder you’re finding yourself more confused than ever.Continue Reading

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