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Confused and Upset and Just Want My Boyfriend Back. But is it me?

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A woman is upset after her boyfriend became emotionally distant and pulled away.
I don't want to push him away - what should I do?

Our letter this week comes from one of our beautiful readers L. As you'll see, she's confused and upset and just wants her boyfriend back the way used to be - and is wondering if it might really be because of her that he's acting the way he is.

Here's her letter and what I had to say...

Hi Jane,

I’ve been with my boyfriend for 6 months. The first four months were fantastic. We saw each other whenever we could (both have jobs and children), messaged constantly all day and talked about the future.

A couple of months ago he started to become more distant, taking longer to reply, not instigating meeting up so much etc.Continue Reading

Did I Get Played?

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Woman upset after her boyfriend pulled away and disappeared, wondering if he'll ever come back.
Am I being an idiot for thinking this could actually be something?

This week I'm featuring a letter - along with my response - from gorgeous Maddie, who's wondering if the man she's been seeing is actually interested in a committed relationship or if he's just playing with her heart.

Here's her story:

Hi Jane,

I have a question for you.

Some background information: I have known this guy for 6 years (we briefly dated 6 years ago and have remained in contact on and off in this time, both as friends and sometimes a bit flirty).

Over the last 5-ish months we have gotten quite close again.

He had a girlfriend so we never spoke or did anything sexual. He spoke to me about some of their issues and I gave advice as best I could.

They broke up around 6 weeks ago and since then he and I have spent time together and gotten a lot closer.Continue Reading

The One Thing That Changes Everything When You're With An Emotionally Unavailable Man

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Sad woman hugging her emotionally unavailable boyfriend and looking down.
It’s about understanding what makes one man capable of making a commitment and another completely incapable.

There are some women who come to me with a question that’s easy to answer.

When they ask if he’s worth the effort, if they should stay, if they should give him more time, the answer’s so clear from my outside perspective and with everything I’ve learned about this kind of man.

Without their emotional attachment, without their personal connection to this man who represents something they can’t yet see, I see so clearly someone who should never, ever be anywhere near them, let alone in a relationship with them.

But then there are the others. Maybe it’s you, too.Continue Reading

Is He Losing Interest?

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A beautiful woman is looking at her boyfriend with love wondering is he losing interest.
I’m so afraid that I’m not that interesting to him anymore.

Beautiful Mia writes to tell us about her fear that her boyfriend of 2 years may be losing interest in her.

Here's her email:

Hi Jane,

First of all, I just wanted to say I love reading all the advice you give, even when it’s not relevant to me. You have such an addictively soothing way with words!

I was hoping you could give me some advice about my relationship of almost 2 years.

When we first met, my boyfriend and I hit it off immediately. We were so excited to talk, text, call, and arrange dates with each other as much as possible.Continue Reading

He Says He Wants to Take It Slow

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Speedometer showing too fast signifying a relationship.
Are we moving too fast?

Beautiful Ollie writes in to tell her story of her boyfriend who came on very strong in the beginning, but now wants to take a step back and slow things down.

Here's what she wrote:

I am a single mum of an 8 year old.

I met this guy for a coffee 2 months ago (we're both in our late 40's). We talked for hours, I never felt so comfortable and connected with someone, it was incredible.

The same afternoon, he came over to my place (I invited him) to show me some of his legal documents as he is in the middle of fighting custody of his children with his ex and I work in the legal area. He just needed to understand some forms.

While I was going through the documents, he played with my daughter. They had a blast together.

For the following days, he would text me first thing in the morning, ring me midday to see how my day was going, texting me before going to bed for a chat and goodnight. He popped by once or twice a week to say 'hi', play with my kid and have coffee with me.Continue Reading

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