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My Boyfriend Fell Out of Love With Me

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Guy holding hands of crying woman during breakup
I did everything right and still it ended in confusion and heartbreak.

Ever wondered how someone falls out of love? Especially if that person someone falls out of love with is you? Tori did. Read on to hear what I had to say about it.

Here's her letter:

My question is regarding how one can fall out of love with someone, when everything is the same if not better over time? I have seen many bad and dysfunctional relationships and people sticking together for the wrong reasons.

My boyfriend and I met on a dating app last May and have been together for a year. The past month he was being a little distant but in a very subtle way. He was still texting me but it felt lackluster and routine. When I would flirt with him or try to make plans he wouldn’t respond with excitement but he would respond.

When I confronted him he broke out in tears saying he didn’t know why but he felt like he was “on his way out” and felt disconnected from me.Continue Reading

I'm Riding the Relationship Roller Coaster

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Unhappy couple after fight not talking to each other
He acts like he doesn't care.

Beautiful Kaylie is in an on-again-off-again relationship roller coaster of a relationship (sound familiar anyone?)

Here's what she wrote:

So, I’ve been dating this guy for a little over 8 months.

We always break up but end up getting back the same day (or the next day), so basically “disagreements” you can say. He used to try when we were together but this time I think we're done for good.

He told me he isn’t getting back with me because he wants me to be happy.

I keep on chasing him but he acts like he doesn't care.

What should I do? Does he miss me or will he miss me?

-KaylieContinue Reading

How To Know If It’s Your Anxiety Talking – Or Something Else

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A beautiful woman looks at her phone feeling confused over whether she should choose commitment or chemistry.
Is it real, or are you worried over nothing?

There was a popular song by Billy Joel when I was growing up that had a line in it that went like this … “when you love someone, you’re always insecure”, and that's as true now as it was then.

Who isn’t insecure when everything seems like it’s going so well and yet you don’t really know someone well enough to know for sure?

When all you've known are relationships that gave you every reason to feel anxious, you don’t have anything like it to compare to. When you’ve given away so much of your heart, your body, and what often feels like your soul, regardless of how much we know we’re not supposed to go further than our overactive imaginations can handle, you’ve got a recipe for all kinds of anxiety to rear its head.

So how do you know how much to blame on your own anxiety and how much is being with the wrong person with real warning signs and red flags that you’re going to look back on and wonder why you didn’t see them at the time?

Well, this question came up this week in my “Engage” group coaching community, and it was such a great question, I wanted to include my answer here for you. After all, who hasn’t encountered that subtle shift where something seems to change that you can’t quite put your finger on?Continue Reading

How Could He Let Me Go So Easily?

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A beautiful woman with her face in her hands because her self esteem is so low.
Why am I so upset over someone that put me through this?

Beautiful Ally is sad and heartbroken, wondering how her boyfriend of 6 months could let her go so easily.

Here's her story:

Hi Jane,

I'm an avid reader of your site and your advice has helped me before. I recently ended my relationship and I am having a hard time dealing with it. I feel like I made the right decision but I'm still hurting and confused.

A little background:

I met my boyfriend about 6 months ago.

I was out with a friend and he approached me. I initially was not all that interested but after a lengthy conversation I realized that there was some chemistry. He told me he was getting divorced (after 15 years of marriage), he had been separated over a year (has his own apartment and she has the house) and was moving forward with his life.

He was attractive, very smart and had a great job. I felt like we had a lot in common as I too am intelligent and successful. I have a great job, no kids and never married. He's 40 and I'm 43. He has two young children from his marriage ages 4 and 6.Continue Reading

Exactly Who You Are

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Beautiful young woman with long hair lying on the grass
What if you could look at it another way?

You say “no”.

You say “not me”.

You laugh. You smirk. You dig in.

But what you don’t see is that you’re exactly the one I’m trying to reach.

What you don’t see is that you’re precisely the one I’ve been looking for. It’s your cynicism that speaks volumes to me. Instead of pushing me away, you make me want to run to you even more.

See, I know how this works.

I know you think you do. I know you think you’ve got this all figured out. But what I see behind your words, behind every single one of your well-rehearsed defenses, gives you away.Continue Reading

He Said Goodbye...

24 Comments

Sad woman missing her boyfriend after breakup with a broken picture of the couple on the bed.
It really hurts that he hasn't contacted me.

This week our letter comes from beautiful Rainie. Her on-again, off-again relationship recently ended over the holidays (why is it always over the holidays...????) and she's devastated.

Here's her email:

I met this guy online five years ago.

We both had not been in a relationship for many, many years. He was working 7 days a week in his own business and I had a son who had disabilities and was devoted to him. We both had our commitments that prevented us from seeing each other a lot but we would communicate each day, most days of the week anyway.

We were each other’s support to a certain extent.

Two years after we first met we had a fight and went our own separate ways. I was devastated at the time... A year later he contacted me again and we ended up being in the same sort of relationship as previously which was suitable for both of us.

Two years have past since then and we have drawn closer to each other, more than before. We live a fair distance from each other, so with his work commitment and my commitment to my son we did not see each other that often.

We would just email each other all the time.Continue Reading

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