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You are here: Home / Archives for heartbreak

After One Wonderful Year, He Suddenly Changed

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A beautiful woman is feeling sad and broken hearted about her relationship.
Why did he act so loving only to break up with me?

Our letter this week comes from Abi, who had a feeling something was off and went on to find out she was right. Sound familiar? I have a feeling most of you can relate.

Here's her story:

Hi Jane, I’ve recently gone through a breakup. He was my first ever boyfriend and the first time I’ve ever felt loved. We were dating for almost a year until he suddenly changed - as if a switch just turned in his head.

This happened the day they announced lockdown in England and I went through six weeks of no communication from him unless I instigated the conversation. As the weeks went on his behaviour started to change which started to hurt me more and made me think as to why he was doing this.

I had an inkling that he was going to break up with me but I thought I was just being paranoid.Continue Reading

We Had Amazing Chemistry but I Haven't Heard From Him in 4 Days!

23 Comments

Rear view of a woman holding the curtains open to look out of a large light window at home.
Should I reach out to him or not?

Our letter this week highlights one of the dilemmas so many of us have encountered before. Amazing physical chemistry and, well, some other things that aren't exactly amazing - or even acceptable.

That's the subject of today's letter, and like most of us who've been here before, it feels just a little too familiar.

Here's her story:

Hi Jane,

I’ve been dating this guy for two months. Sparks flew immediately.

I’m 32 and he’s 33. He’s a resident Pathology physician and I work at the same hospital, but in different departments.

We have amazing physical chemistry and we would text each other constantly throughout the day and evening.  He would tell me that I make him nervous and that he thinks about me all the time.Continue Reading

The Lie of Brokenness

37 Comments

Woman looking into a broken mirror representing her low self-esteem.
No, there's nothing wrong with you.

When you've been told over and over again that you're broken, when you've been told you have to go to some being outside yourself to ask for forgiveness for the simple act of being human, you're going to forever have a hard time believing you're not.

And when heartbreak turns to more heartbreak and you can't seem to learn well enough from your past mistakes to exact any kind of different outcome, it's a tragedy that all you've got left is a scenario where you cast yourself at yet another man's feet and beg for forgiveness - for grace - to be given the right to be here just as you are.

It's something wrong with you all over again when you're told the very essence of you is bad, wrong, in desperate need of correction. Because the theme is the same as the one you first learned: you will always need someone outside of yourself to save you from yourself!

Look within, Beautiful. Look at your beautiful heart and soul.

Is there any good in you? Not their answer this time, but the answer that's your own.

The truth is, there is nothing but good in your heart, in you! You don't need this validation from anyone else for it to be true. That's how we got here in the first place.

Search your own heart and find your truth.Continue Reading

HELP!!! My narcissist ex bought the house next to mine!

10 Comments

A woman is holding her head, exasperated, wondering why he wants to slow things down.
Avoiding him will be almost impossible!

Whenever I see a letter with capital letters and exclamation marks, I know this is a woman who desperately needs our help. Not just my help, but our whole community here. And that's exactly what I found in the email that landed in my inbox from Stacey.

Here's what she wrote:

HELP!!!

How am I supposed to deal with the emotions that I'm feeling now that I've finally ended my relationship of 6 years with a narcissist and he's bought the house right next door to mine?

NO contact is almost impossible.

I'm desperate for advice.

- StaceyContinue Reading

Is He Just "Not Ready"?

8 Comments

 

A beautiful woman is holding her head in her hands wondering if her boyfriend who has commitment issues is just playing games or if he wants a committed relationship.
Maybe I just need to move on.

Our letter this week comes from, Vicki, who's wondering if the man she feels a special connection with in their on-again, off-again relationship, will ever be ready for a real, committed relationship.

Here's her story:

Hi Jane,

I love your programs and I am really relating to some of the stuff you say. I particularly relate to Sue's letter.

I have had an on/off relationship with a guy for just over 15 months.

I am 51 and have sorted my life out, he is 53 and hasn't.

He has not sorted out all the baggage from his marriage - i.e. not divorced, just now selling the home because he is having financial trouble.

The trouble comes from being depressed or bi-polar or chronic fatigue that led to a truck load of self-esteem issues and to top it off he has 2 young girls (4 and 10) as well as 2 older boys.

So his life is hard.Continue Reading

My Boyfriend Keeps Breaking Up With Me and Coming Back

13 Comments

A couple enjoying embrace of each other and tenderly smiling
Why does he keep breaking up, then 3 days later he says he made a mistake?

This week's letter comes from Sue, who's wondering if it's normal for her boyfriend of 2 1/2 years to keep breaking up with her, then saying he made a mistake and wanting to get back together.

She's unfortunately not alone here, as many of the women I work with have similar stories to her - one of the most common questions I get is "Why does my boyfriend keep breaking up with me and coming back?"

His ambivalence is part of a larger problem, and I go into detail about that in my response here. I hope it helps both you, Sue, as well as others of you going through this right now.

Here's her email:

Hi Jane,

The same situation as you described about breaking up after 3-4 months in a perfect relationship happened to me. Then in 3 days he called and said he made a mistake. We have broken up probably six times and gotten back together in a 2 1/2 year relationship.

We can't stay away from each other.Continue Reading

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About Jane Garapick

Hi, I'm Jane Garapick. I'm here to provide inspiration, support and empowerment on the journey to true love. I know what it’s like to have a broken heart, a broken dream, and a broken you. And I know for a fact, that your dreams can still come true! Read more...
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