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He Ghosted Me. What happened?

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Close up of womans hand using mobile phone on a bokeh background, symbolizing that her boyfriend doesn't text her.
I haven't heard back in more than a week.

What do you do when the guy you've been seeing for three months ghosts you and just disappears?

Poof. Nothing. He ghosted you!

That's what happened to Anna who wrote me last week with two words in her subject line.

What happened?

I know exactly what happened and I'm going to tell her and you below.

But first, here's her story:

Hi Jane,

I've been in contact with this guy who showed all signs of interest and said such sweet things to me. Things said at a start of a relationship.

Though we talked on the phone it would be at long intervals and I noticed I was the one initiating each conversation but he was always happy to talk to me. We did not meet in person a lot, about 4 times in 3 months.Continue Reading

Ghosted! How do I let go with no closure?

3 Comments

Lonely sad beautiful woman feeling hurt and heartbroken holding phone because boyfriend has gone radio silent
I have no idea why he won't respond.

Ever been ghosted and had to let go without any closure? That's what Trisha's going through. If that's an all-too familiar theme for you, read on to hear her story and my response. You can also check out this video I just posted about how to get closure and move on.

Her email:

Hi Jane,

I'm having a horrible time dealing with a recent situation with an ex.

We dated for 8 months. During this time things felt ok and progressive, yet I could tell he had a wall up and I could not understand why.Continue Reading

Are you doing this too?

15 Comments

Beautiful lonely girl dreamin and thinking while waiting for date in the city ocean pier at sunset time.
Are you spending all your time and energy doing this?

Don't spend any more of your time or energy on why it didn't work out, why he ghosted you or whatever else you can't let go of.

We spend wayyyyy too much time ruminating over everything we should have done differently to keep a guy.

The only retrospect you want is that he wasn't your guy.

There's lots of different guys, just this one wasn't yours!

Your goal is to meet as many men as possible and move on from the ones who ghost you or don't pursue you.Continue Reading

Why am I ALWAYS attracting struggling men?

17 Comments

Unhappy couple after fight not talking to each other
I keep attracting men who are struggling.

Have you ever been in a relationship where you lift a broken man up to where he's finally on his own two feet, only to have him leave you for another woman? If so, you can relate to beautiful Lolly who shared her heartbreak with us today.

Here's her story:

Hi Jane,

First of all I would like to say that I appreciate you and all that you do for us as women in your "small little community", being a part of Getting to True Love has brought such a tremendous change in my life, the women in this community are just as amazing, I feel like I have gained such an amazing sisterhood.

We might all be worlds apart but you have brought us together for one reason only - to find love, first within ourselves and secondly with the men out there. Thank you.

So my question today is I have noticed that I always attract men who are struggling, be it financially and emotionally, more especially financially, it's either they are still finding their way up or I meet them at the time when things are just not going well in their careers or when their businesses are not doing well.Continue Reading

He ghosted me after I said I cared about him!

10 Comments

A beautiful woman looks at her phone wondering why he suddenly disappeared.
Was it a mistake to let him know how I feel?

Our letter today comes from Tazz, who had some amazing sex with a man she met online and thought all was going great, until she made the "mistake" of telling him she cared about him and didn't want to see him hurt again.

Her Story:

I met a man online, met him a few times, had amazing sex with him, but after I told him I don't want to see him hurt again..as he is going through a divorce and trying to heal on the inside ... said he could take care of himself wanted to break from me for a bit and ghosted me.

He texted me last night he had a good day, went out on a date and missed me ... he is an amazing man and I messed up by telling him I worry about him...

I can't lose him but I'm not happy with his ghosting me either what should I do to bring him back???Continue Reading

I Am So Tired of Men Ghosting Me!

21 Comments

Woman text messaging on her phone
His texts got less and less, then suddenly nothing.

With everything going on in our world right now, I debated whether to answer a letter like usual this week, or send you some comforting words, and I've decided to continue on here as much as normal since many of you are still having the same issues with your relationships even in the midst of a pandemic.

Next week, thanks to one of your suggestions, I'll have some tips on dating in the era of #stayhome and how to not drive yourself crazy being alone!

I hope you're all taking good care of yourselves, staying home as much as you can, and finding support here for all your beautiful hearts and souls that feel everything. I adore each and every one of you for exactly who you are, whether that be scared, anxious, worried or whatever you feel today.

I run the gamut of emotions, too.

If there's something you're going through that you're not finding addressed here, please don't hesitate to reach out or reply to this email. We will get through this the only way we ever do anything well - together.

So that said, our letter this week comes from Michelle, who's sick and tired of men ghosting her. Can you relate? I had a feeling you could.

Here's her story:

Hi Jane,

I am so tired of men walking into my life and then leaving for no reason. I honestly am starting to think something is wrong with me.Continue Reading

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