Getting to TRUE Love

Finding your YOU that leads to TWO

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Taking Off the Mask

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Beautiful woman with a carnival mask.
Sometimes we don't even realize we're wearing a mask.

You’ve been told so many things.

You’ve been told who to be. You’ve been told what to say. And you’ve been told that it all matters IF you want to find love.

You’ve been told so many stories so that you’d see why someone else knows so much more than you do. You’ve been told to trust, to have faith, to listen to what someone else knows.

After all, you’re single, right? Or worse, you’re in love with an emotionally unavailable man who can’t seem to commit. Or maybe you’re involved with a married man who can’t seem to give you anything more than empty promises.

But whatever your situation, there’s one thing you’ve got in common with everyone else who’ve been told all these things; you’re scared. Underneath the hurt, the anger, the frustration, the pain, you’re afraid it’s never going to happen again.

You’re afraid it’s never going to change.Continue Reading

It Begins With One Simple Act

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A beautiful woman holds her hair up while looking at the ocean.
Each and every act sends the same subtle message; you matter.

It’s the simplest thing.

It all begins simply by noticing. Noticing.

You have to stop long enough to notice if you’re going to see anything different at all. Your soft skin, your silky hair, your beautiful eyes.

Your strong arms. Your long legs.

Brushing each strand of your gorgeous, sensuous hair in long, broad, strokes.

Consciously noticing.

Continue Reading

How Your 9 Year Old Self Ruined Your Love Life

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Young girl holding flowers looking at the sunset with hearts floating away.
She didn't know...

I'll be the first to agree that sometimes our "aha" moments come to us in the most unusual of places.

Like recently, when I was sitting in the audience at our local high school annual holiday concert.  Listening to the beautiful music being played and sung by these talented young students in the band, the choir, and the orchestra, I realized I had lived my own student years in all the wrong places.

Here in this place where the music touched my soul and made me feel like everything was all right in the world (and especially with me!) it all suddenly became so clear.

With a clarity I never had before, I realized exactly what happened during those formative years that now seem so long ago.

You see, without even knowing it, the words from my older, popular sister (who I secretly aspired to be like) had influenced where I went, where I didn't go, who I was friends with, and who I wasn't friends with.

Five years before me, when my older sister entered high school and had the option to choose band and choir or art and drama, I had overheard her and her friends referring to all the kids who took art and drama as cool and popular, while the ones taking band and choir were described as the opposite.

I never forgot their words.Continue Reading

The Critical First Step to Finding True Love - Know Yourself

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Because once you know yourself, once you figure out who you really are, what you enjoy, and what you are passionate about - then - and only then - you can begin to understand what you’re really looking for. A beautiful woman is contemplating who she really is, trying to get to know herself. Who am I?

When I look back at some of my toughest single days – the days when I really questioned whether I was ever going to get it right in the relationship department, I realize that so much of the heartbreak and fear of abandonment that I felt stemmed from not really knowing who I was.

Oh, I thought I did.

But I didn’t understand that in order to connect with another person in a real relationship, you have to first connect with yourself, to understand who you really are, what makes you tick, what you’re all about, and all things related. Not just who you’ve been brought up to be.

Not who your parents told you you were by the things they said and the way they treated you. Not who your friends and past boyfriends tell you you are by the ways they treat you. Not who your coworkers and bosses tell you you are by the way they interact with you and judge you.Continue Reading

Why Hasn't He Called?

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A beautiful woman is sitting On Couch At Home anxiously looking at her phone wondering why he hasn't responded.
I thought we hit it off - why hasn't he called me?

Of all the questions I'm asked, the most common one is about what to do when he hasn't called. There's something about that unfinished business, about being left hanging without an explanation that leaves even the most confident of us wondering what we did wrong, and whether or not we should try to contact him to elicit some kind of an answer.

We all share the same story line: You met a great guy, you really hit it off, maybe even went on a date or two, then nothing. No phone call, no explanation, just a silent phone. Every time the phone rings your heart rate shoots up as you grab for your phone, only to see that it's your friend or your Mom calling, as  your hearts sinks back into your stomach (sorry Mom!)

It's the same story.

The other part of the story that is always the same, is that we've convinced ourselves our situation is unique, unlike every other woman's experience with the guy who hasn't called. But the reality is that our story is exactly the same as all of the many, many women around the world, and through the ages, that have experienced the same thing. We just don't want to hear it or believe it.Continue Reading

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