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When Do You Know?

silhouette of feet of couple sitting on the pier at sunset beach, low angle view — After those first few months, here's what I knew.

That was her question.

In our group coaching session over the weekend, one of the women who's experiencing something that seems like real love for the first time in her life asked me about when my husband and I first said the words "I love you", and how I knew I was in love with him.

Here's what I told them ...

I didn't know what I was in with my husband. I only knew how different it felt, how real it felt compared to the fantasy kind of love relationships I was used to, the kind that broke my heart almost as soon as I gave it away.

It was a few months after we'd met for the second time. We were at his friend's wedding in Santa Barbara, California.Continue Reading

The Part No One Told You About

The Antidote to Anxious, Questioning, and Wondering

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Couple holding hands towards the sun with bright sun flare between the silhouetted fingers on a pale blue sky, close up view in a conceptual image. — When you change your focus, the unexpected happens.

I'm realizing I need to share more of these stories with you.

Real stories of other women just like you, finding your way here because my messages about your worth and your value resonated with you.

Real stories of happy endings, like the one you can't see when you're in the middle of what you're going through right now.

If you haven't already figured this out, I'm not just about getting a guy; I'm about finding yourself, finding your worth - finding your value - and from there, creating a life for yourself that includes you finding the guy you've been looking for all along.

That's what happens when you find yourself first. When you change your focus to you, away from him, the unexpected - the seemingly impossible at the time - always finds you.

That's what happened for Lynn.

It Won’t Always Be This Way

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A woman in a white cotton dress is walking through tall grass. — Every day we wake up to an opportunity to choose something different.

If there's one thing I want you to take from what I have to say today, it's this:

It won't always be this way.

Most of how we respond, operate and act is based on the completely wrong assumption that it's always going to be this way.

That nothing is going to get better, we're never going to have the life we want, the new guy is never going to turn into the right guy, and that new job, new career opportunity is never going to happen for us.

It belies whatever we're saying on the surface because it's so deeply embedded in our subconsciousness. You don't even realize it's there except by the fact that nothing changes, nothing gets better, the new guy never turns into the right guy, and that new career opportunity never materializes.

See what happened there?

Nothing changes because we don't actually believe anything is capable of changing. For all our hope, for all our words to the contrary, our actual actions keep creating more and more of the same.

Because of that subconscious belief system again!

But things DO change.Continue Reading

Why Waiting Never Works the Way It's Supposed To

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A beautiful woman sits on a park bench wondering why she loves him. — Waiting around for something to happen won't get you where you want to be.

You sit on the sidelines waiting for something that never happens.

You spend all your energy searching for something that never comes.

And while you spend all your time waiting, hoping, comparing (and then waiting some more), there's a life that's being lost in the process. A life begging to be lived, pleading to be explored.

Not when you find him. Not when you're no longer on your own. Not when you're brave enough or ready enough in whatever way would speak readiness to you.

There's so many roads to the same place.

So many ways to catch a glimpse of some him, to find your path crosses the same path as someone you were meant to cross paths with too. But of all the roads you may choose, I know of no other road that delivers you there quite like the road of actual living.Continue Reading

No, You're Not Expecting Too Much

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Female hands holding a sand in form of the heart — Don't ever let yourself become numb to what love really is.

Kindness.

Gentleness.

Compassion.

Empathy.

Actions.

Not shallow words that mean nothing without the behavior to accompany them.

Look around you.

Are these what you experience from your lovers, your boyfriends, your girl friends, your family, all these ones you give so much of your time, your energy, your own kindness and gentleness and compassion and empathy to?Continue Reading

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When Do You Know?

The Part No One Told You About

The Antidote to Anxious, Questioning, and Wondering

It Won’t Always Be This Way

Why Waiting Never Works the Way It's Supposed To

No, You're Not Expecting Too Much

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