dating

How Do I Get Him To Chase Me?

Our beautiful friend, Cyndi, has been dating a guy who seems to be a bit "hot and cold". Right when she feels like there's a connection, he suddenly disappears on her for days at a time.

Her Story:

Hi Jane,

I am a 48 year old woman, and currently in the middle of a divorce, which luckily is very amicable.

I have been separated for almost four years. During the last four years I have dated and been in relationships with it seems like the same kind of man - either unavailable or still in love with their ex's - so as you can see they haven't been successful.

Even though I learned a new lesson with each man, I am still confused as to how I should be acting especially in the early stages.

Which leads me to my question.

I have been emailing, texting and talking with a man I met on an online site. At first I would hear from him daily, then he would disappear for a few days, then come back, with an explanation of being really busy, and then disappear again.Continue Reading

Should I Initiate Contact?

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A woman looks at her phone while texting. — Here's how to know when you should (and shouldn't) initiate contact.

You’ve asked everyone you know, and even some you don’t. You’ve Googled it. You’ve read article after article to find your answer and still the answer seems to elude you. It either doesn’t sit right, isn’t you, or sounds too complicated.

There’s a reason you’re confused. It IS confusing!

You hear stories of women who made that initial contact and now they’re happily married! You hear of other women who never EVER initiated any contact, and now they’re happily married, too! Then there’s the in-between stories of the ones who initiated sometimes, and others who only initiated once in a while.

So here you are trying to figure out which one is right, which one is wrong, and which one is right for you, and it’s no wonder you’re finding yourself more confused than ever.Continue Reading

He Says "They're Just Friends"

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A guy is holding hands with one woman, while checking out and flirting with another woman — I found out from social media that he's dating other women.

One of our gorgeous readers, who has called herself "A", has been dating a guy for a while, and now thinks he's dating other women. He says these other women are just friends, but she's not sure what to do next.

Here's her email:

Hi Jane! I am so glad I have found you.

I find this website very helpful and I think for most of us, its a relief, because from my experience I get really confused and that inner voice inside of me telling me "I don't think this is going to end well".

Well here is my question: from a guy's point of view what's the idea of dating?

Because I have been dating a really nice guy for a month now, he is 3 years older than me (I am 22), although age doesn't really matter and for once I thought, wow I think this is the one. This guy seems just right, with the way he treats you, takes you out, worries about you, talks to you everyday, I feel great every time I am with him and I think it's the same feeling from his part, anyway its the whole fairy tale.

Everything it's perfect.

Suddenly just out of the blue, I noticed on the social network that he is also dating other girls. Continue Reading

Was I Just A Hot Mess With A Great Guy?

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A beautiful woman is holding her hair back with her hands, wondering if she was a hot mess. — Did I scare him off?

One of our beautiful readers, Felicia, is wondering if she drove away a great guy by being (her words) a "hot mess".

Here's her story:

Hi Jane.

I recently discovered your site to look for answers to many of my questions.

I have seen many articles or posts everywhere that he was not just the one or bad boy, etc.

But...what if, in fact, we were the one messing with a great guy? Or "Like attracts like"?

I recently ended up with a person who was quite close to whom I am looking for while my mother was fighting for her life. I met him via online dating site after several months after relocating to new country. Prior to that, I was just enjoying casual datings with some men. However he was different.Continue Reading

The Whole Point of Dating

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Yes, you do have to know who you are, what you have to offer and all those things that make you confident. You need to know what you’re looking for, what you really believe about love and why you keep choosing the same types of guys and expecting a different result even though they’re exactly the types that aren't on the same page as you.

But apart from all this important work we do to find out who we really are and what we’re looking for, beyond our soul searching to find our story and discover our own unique blind spots, triggers and programming. Aside from knowing what’s ours, what’s someone else’s and what comes from our culture, there lies the practical art of dating.

It’s time to revisit this concept of “dating” because it’s holding the bridge between being alone and finding someone to share our lives with.

But most of us are approaching it completely the wrong way.

We need to see dating as more than simply a means to an end. We need to see it as an enjoyable journey, filled with adventure, new people and places, new friends and renewing old acquaintances. And the key word here is enjoyable.

I Am Guilty

12 Comments

A beautiful woman looks sad because she believes she is guilty in falling for the wrong guy Dear Jane,

First of all lots of love to you for the wonderful work of yours.

Your articles give me so much support.

Today here I am at this stage want to confess something which no one knows. I think you are the only person and your page where I can tell this dark secret of mine. I really need your help regarding this.

Here goes my story!!!

I entered med school as a very innocent girl, full of ambition and dreams. Met a guy from my batch. He approached me first. Did all things what a guy do to catch any girl's attention. That was the first time I fell for someone so hard.

He was my first love of course. But the reality was harsh. He was never committed for me. I found out he used to sex chat with other girls as well. I was so much in love with him that I didn't want to lose him at any cost.

LOVE CONQUERS ALL.Continue Reading

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How Do I Get Him To Chase Me?

Her Story:

Should I Initiate Contact?

He Says "They're Just Friends"

Here's her email:

Was I Just A Hot Mess With A Great Guy?

Here's her story:

The Whole Point of Dating

I Am Guilty

Here goes my story!!!

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