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I Can't Let Go and I Can't Stay...

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A street sign showing should I stay on one sign and should i go on the other.
Why am I so confused? What did I do wrong?

Our gorgeous reader, who has called herself "So Stuck", is exactly that ... so stuck. She just doesn't know what to do.

Here's her email:

Hi Jane,

First of all, thank you for your website, it has helped me in so many ways... This community you've created is making me see I'm not alone, thank you!

I need your help, I'm stuck...

I've met this man 15 years ago, we became friends. He had a girlfriend at the time and he married her, they were married for about 15 years and separated last year.

They got divorced around the same time we started talking again.

We started going out and it was perfect... For about 6 months... For the next 6 months my life became pure anxiety until he broke it off - we were together for a year.

We were planning to live together, get married, have children... the whole package. We wanted the same things. I couldn't be happier.

I've never met his family.Continue Reading

How Do I Find the Courage to Leave?

7 Comments

Beautiful rocks with the word courage written on one.
How do I tell him I don't want to be with him?

One of our gorgeous readers, who has chosen to call herself "In Between", is desperately trying to find the courage to leave a relationship that she knows isn't right for her.

Here's her email:

Hi Jane,

I am a follower of yours and I have benefited tremendously from all your emails.

I am 25 years old and am in a situation. My boyfriend and best friend of about 4 years broke up with me and said that he had met someone else who he saw himself with. I had broken up with him before then we got back together, we have been best friends since we were in our late teens and we know each other so well.

I know I hurt him before when I broke up with him so I knew somehow that he did this to get revenge somehow, which did not work out so good for him because after two months, he was back on his knees saying he did not know what he was doing at the time and that he listened to some people who only wanted to break us apart and he only realized afterwards.

The only problem is, I had forgiven him quite alright, I broke contact with him and was now seeing someone else.Continue Reading

Should I Call or Text? I Don't Want to Lose Him

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A beautiful woman looks at her phone, worried, wondering if she should call or text him.
I haven't heard from him since Sunday. Should I call or text?

What do you do when you're afraid he's going to go back to his ex? Our letter this week comes from our gorgeous friend Hannah, who is going through exactly that.

Here's her email:

Hello,

I'm desperate for your help and wouldn't normally be so needy but I don't know what to do.

Before I go into detail, here is a little break down of timings etc., as it's all a bit complicated:

2010 - My boyfriend starts dating his ex.

2013 - My boyfriend moves his ex into his house.

2013 - Things start to fizzle out between my boyfriend and his ex. She adores him but he isn't sure and she moves out of his home in November 2014 and they take a break so he can get his head straight and decide what he wants. It's in this same month that he and I start seeing each other.Continue Reading

If He Really Loved Me, Would He Have Let Me Go?

33 Comments

A key lies on a table next to a red heart made from a ribbon.
All I wanted was a key!

Our question this week comes from our beautiful friend Janet, who has broken up with her boyfriend because he wouldn't move their relationship along to the next level of commitment.

Here's what she wrote:

My boyfriend of almost 3 years tells me he loves me and wants to marry me and move in with me ...but doesn't know when.

We live apart and only see one another on the weekends. I have asked for a key before to his apartment so I could wait upstairs for him when I arrive and he said it was against his values.

The other day I couldn't reach him all night....and we had a huge fight that lasted for days...when we finally spoke...I told him that I did not feel comfortable with our current arrangement and if he didn't want to live together at this time...that he should at least give me a key...so if I need to speak with him and can't reach him by phone...I can go to his house.

He said he loves me and wants to marry me...it could be as soon as next year...he doesn't know...but I already know his answer about the key and that will not change.

I told him I just didn't feel comfortable anymore...and I feel the key was kinda like the bare minimum I needed to hang in there at this point.Continue Reading

Becoming Unlost

34 Comments

A beautiful woman is walking on the beach trying to become unlost.
You never thought you’d feel this lost.

Lost.

When it’s over. When the reality that this new place is worse than you thought it would be. When you long for the old reality that at least you knew.

How else to describe it except for one word … Lost

No matter whether you were prepared or not, can you ever really be prepared?Continue Reading

I Don't Want to Be Hurt Again

37 Comments

A woman and man are experiencing a break up and she doesn't want to be hurt again.
His mixed signals give me hope we'll get back together.

Our beautiful friend Yuri has been in a relationship with a guy who now says he just wants to be friends, but he's giving her mixed signals which is giving her false hope.

Here's her email:

Dear Jane,

My boyfriend broke up with me in October 2014.

He first said that he wanted to take a break to be with himself because he had some issues then three weeks later he broke up with me. I was really sad but I managed to remain calm. But a week after the breakup he started calling me again and wanted to always hang out with me.

I went along because I was emotionally too dependent on him. As days went by I grew uncomfortable because I knew that even though we were like a couple he still didn't consider me his girlfriend. I decided to speak to him about it and he told me that he was still having some issues and that if I wanted to I could be with him because in the future we will get back together.

Again I went along with what he said hoping that we will get back together soon. But then I noticed a repeated cycle taking place.Continue Reading

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