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How Could He Just Walk Away?

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A man walks away from a woman after break up.
I don't understand what happened!

This week, our gorgeous friend, Elise, is second guessing herself and wondering if she did the right thing.

Here's her letter:

Dear Jane,

I broke up from my boyfriend 6 days a go. We met a year ago and started to like each other very quickly. I am 26 and he 27.

Upon discussing values and life goals we realized some key differences, I am religious and eventually I want to settle down with children. I was resolute about not wanting to go further unless we were clear we wanted the same things.

He said he couldn't say if he wanted those things for his life and we decided to stop seeing each other. But 2 months later he got back in touch with me and after mentioning how he had visited friends during holidays and the children had loved him we entered a relationship.Continue Reading

He Stood Me Up - Should I Confront Him?

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A beautiful woman sits at a table by herself after he stood her up.
Why would he make plans and then stand me up?

Our beautiful friend, Jade, was stood up and she's wondering if she should confront him, or just walk away.

Here's her story:

I normally don't write...but I find your blogs to be extremely helpful and on point.

And I'm in need of some advice. Or just clarification on what might have happened.

I dated a guy off and on for a year. Each time we took a break it was because I wanted a relationship and he did not. His excuse was he just got out of a long term relationship before he met me and wasn't ready.

We started talking again after three months of no contact. He stated he was thinking of me and wanted to meet up for dinner soon.

I was a little reluctant but agreed.

We planned to meet on Friday and he even confirmed the day before. Friday came and went and he was a no show.Continue Reading

Why He Keeps You Hanging On

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A woman walks away from a man with a rose in the foreground, symbolizing a break up.
Why won't he just make a commitment?

You’re perplexed. Puzzled. Utterly Confused.

On the one hand, he says he’s not ready for a commitment. He says he can’t give you what you’re looking for.

But then instead of letting you go, he shows up just enough to keep that hope alive.

Hope in him. Hope in what one day will be him and you. 

You’ve asked me why. You want to know what he’s doing, what his motivation is, and whether you’ve got a chance at things working out with him.

Could he not have meant what he said? Could he just be confused? Could it be that there’s hope for the two of you after all?Continue Reading

Things Were Going So Well - Then He Disappeared!

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Woman-looking-at-phone-wondering-why-he-suddenly-disappeared
Why is he completely ignoring me?

Our letter this week comes from one of our sweet readers, who has chosen to call herself "Confused and in Love (I'll just call her "Love"). Her boyfriend has suddenly stopped answering all calls, emails and texts - he's basically disappeared on her.

Her email:

Hi, I was hoping you could provide me some advice.

I’ve been in a relationship with my boyfriend for over 8 months. He's a great guy and always is considerate and thoughtful of me and my feelings.

The past 8 months have been fantastic, maybe some very minor bouts of miscommunication (less than what I could list on one hand) but other than that great.

He recently (less than a month ago) got a new job that he is very excited and nervous about (it’s his dream job and he wants to excel at it). Since getting this new job he’s been a bit stressed and less present in the relationship, he was still putting effort into the relationship but not as much as before.Continue Reading

I Know He's Not The One For Me - Why Am I Upset He Moved On?

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A beautiful woman sits on a beach looking sad because her ex has moved on.
How do I stop feeling so angry and empty and sad?

One of our gorgeous readers, who has called herself "RasberryRush", is feeling empty and sad that her ex has moved on, even though she knows he was not right for her.

Her story:

Hi Jane

I am baffled by myself, truly baffled.

My ex and I have been on-and-off for about 3 years now - he couldn't give me what I wanted in terms of a future together and I knew we were going in different directions in life.

We stayed intimate here and there (for the 3 years) and we would talk/text frequently every day. I think we fooled ourselves into thinking we were doing the 'friends' thing really well, but we weren't friends.

We were an oddly formed pair who acted like a couple in all but name.

Distance was a factor as we live around 3 hours apart - he's unwilling to move and for family reasons I can't. I feel like we knew we were each other's Mr/Ms Right Now as opposed to being the real deal.

So why then am I so totally crushed and angry that he's been out on a couple of dates with someone?Continue Reading

Was It Me?

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A beautiful woman holds her hands out wondering if it was something she did wrong.
What if I hadn't argued? Where would we be then?

Our gorgeous friend, Brooklyn, is wondering if things would be different if she had just put up with his excessive drinking and partying. She's wondering if the breakup was really her fault.

Here's what she wrote:

Hi Jane,

Your blog has helped me enormously after my recent breakup.

However, I have a lingering question. Was it me? Did I make our love not worth fighting for? Did I take the fact that I thought my boyfriend would never leave me for granted?

To give you some background, I was with my boyfriend for about 9 months. I have never loved someone as deeply as I loved him and he said the same to me. However, our relationship started to get rocky a few months ago.

I felt alcohol and friends were his priority and I was always second best. To give an example, one night a few months ago I was grieving the birthday of my deceased mother, as well as other life stresses and he chose to go out with our friends to drink that night despite me voicing that I really needed his company/support that night.

He ended the relationship due to excessive fighting, however I am strong enough to admit I was rarely the culprit of the fights.Continue Reading

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