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You are here: Home / Archives for believe in love

She's You

20 Comments

fantasy. woman in enigmatic meadow over cloudy sky
She has an important message for you...

She slowly comes into view.

Happy. Content. Peaceful.

You’ve been through it all. And now you’re there. He’s there with you. The one you thought you missed.

You didn’t.

The one you thought you’d never find.

You did.

The one you never dared to believe could find you.

And of course he found you.

How could he not?

All those things you thought were taking you away from all chances of ever finding him. They’re how he found you!Continue Reading

What If All You Need Is Someone To Believe In You?

11 Comments

What if it's right there in front of you?
What if it's right there in front of you?

What if you just need someone to believe in you?

All those plans, all those dreams.

They told you to find something you could actually do. They gave you all kinds of suggestions that sent the clear message they somehow knew you better than you.

They smiled to themselves, or even laughed.

But more than anything else, what they did was make you feel like there was something the matter with you.

Something wrong, something "off".Continue Reading

9 Years, 1 Dog, 1 House... No Ring

18 Comments

A woman holds her dogs head close, showing affection.
Could this really be the end?

Our beautiful friend, who has signed herself "Confusing Journey", has been on quite the journey indeed. She's wondering if he'll ever propose, or if this should really be the end. Read on for her story...

Here's her letter:

I have been with my boyfriend for 9 years. We met when we were 17 and 19.

We have had a great relationship, with some hiccups a long the way, him leaving, back together, me leaving... back together. The longest we ever separated for is 3 weeks though.

All of those issues occurred early in our relationship when we both were so young and we always worked through the issues. He is fun, but serious at the same time, a business major. His family says he has always been a 40 year old in a boy’s body. Lol.

He is confident and determined and is stable. I am outgoing and funny and care free. Kind of opposites, but I have seen his outgoing side and he has always been my rock.

Welllll, we were still not living together, but at our 7 year mark he decided that someone else had caught his attention and that he wanted to pursue this person.

He broke up with me and I was devastated to say the least, but in his defense he was completely up front and honest about it the whole time and 2 weeks went by of him in this limbo of does he want me, or does he want her.

Finally, I chose for him. I left for good.Continue Reading

Am I Not Meant to Find Love?

63 Comments

A drawing depicting a man and a woman getting married against a white background with a red slash through it symbolizing she is not meant to find love.
I always wanted a husband and family, but what if it's not meant for me?

One of our beautiful readers, Annie, is heartbroken after a recent break up, and is questioning whether she's just not meant to ever be in a loving relationship.

Here's her email:

Hi Jane,

It's been less than two months when I broke up with my ex who lied to me just about everything and cheated on me with number of people. In fact the 10 months he made me believe he loved me, he never did while I was in love with him.

He was honestly the worst person I've met. He broke my heart, took an advantage of me and it still hurts a lot.

Since then I have slowly started healing but this break up has made me almost lose hope sometimes.

I'm 35 almost 36 and not getting any younger.

I have also met not only one but many wrong guys and although some people always say I'm a relationship type person I seem to be alone year after year.

The last relationship being the tip of the ice berg of him taking advantage of me, of wrong person since I had been alone for a very long time before that also only having short 3 month things with other wrong people.

He chose wrong and it was unfair 'cause I am not like the others.

I'd rather be alone and happy than be trying to find someone through online dating or going to nightclubs and bars to look for someone. I don't need someone to hug me just for fun. If I ever meet someone it is because we share something in our hearts and that now brings me to question my life.

What if I am just not the relationship type of person?Continue Reading

How Your Hidden Beliefs Are Ruining Your Love Life

22 Comments

A beautiful woman in a purple shirt against a blackboard with drawn clouds circling around her wonders how her hidden beliefs are ruining her love life. What do you think of when you think about true love?

Do you think it absolutely happens to everyone, or do you think it's very rare, and only happens to others - you know, the ones who are lucky, beautiful, talented, or have something else that you don't seem to have?

You’re not alone – I used to feel that way, too.

I would look around at all of my happily married friends, (or worse, the ones who were soon to be married as I went to look at wedding dresses with them and be fitted for my own bridesmaid dress), and wonder what they had that I didn't because I was convinced there had to be something in them that wasn't in me.

I know exactly how you feel.

You feel like they have something that you're missing. That there's some secret you don't know about, or aren't capable of. That they have something you don't.

They always seem to have something we don't have – we even tend to use the phrase "you're so lucky" when referring to the guy they found.

And it only seems to get worse the older you get.

You can just feel yourself staring at that hypothetical, but still very real biological clock ticking away, as you do the math in your head: If I meet him right now, and we date for a year, then get engaged and married a year later, I'll be (insert any horribly old-sounding age here).

It's enough to drive even the most stable, intelligent woman to extreme anxiety levels, leading to that downward spiral where we can find ourselves doing all the desperate things we promised ourselves we’d never do.

But there’s something you need to know about this because it doesn't have to be this way for any of us, and especially not for you.

You see, that very thinking is a big part of what's keeping you from having the kind of love that you want in your life.

That kind of thinking leads to fear – the fear that you'll never find the right guy. Fear leads to anxiety, and anxiety leads to desperation.

It's a downward spiral that you have to get yourself out of as quickly as you can.

But I also know that it's not as easy as it sounds.

In order to get out of this downward spiral that you're caught up in, you first need to know exactly what your true thoughts are about love, and why you have those thoughts.

We might think "Yes, I know that love is everywhere", but deep down inside we don't really believe it. This is due to your life programming, whether it came from your parents, teachers, or other role models in your life, or you friends and peers. In fact, you're still being programmed, even at this stage in your life - not the least of which is by the media, movies, television shows and magazines.

But armed with this knowledge, just be being open to seeing this programming for what it is, you also have the power to change it. It doesn't have to be this way because this isn't what love is at all.

Here's the truth:

Love isn't particular. Love isn't selective. Love doesn't just gravitate towards the people that are perfect. In fact, some of the most imperfect people were the ones who were getting married all around me!

Love is everywhere. Love is for everyone, including you.

But it’s not necessarily the kind of love that you've been programmed to believe in.

  • It’s not the kind found in fairy tales - that's the kind that doesn't exist in real life.
  • It’s not the kind that’s led you to believe you have to prove your worth to get it - the kind that you have to work for.
  • It’s not the kind that you have to try to find by being something other than your true self with someone who isn't capable of the kind of love you’re looking for.
  • It’s not the kind that has you accepting whatever crumbs someone is willing to throw at you in the name of love.
  • It’s not the kind that conquers love if there isn't love there in the first place.
  • And no, it’s never the dramatic roller-coaster kind.

It is the kind that happens between two people who are on the same page who want the same level of commitment with each other and are both willing to do whatever it takes to make that happen.

It’s real. It’s authentic, and it happens between two real people who understand all this and refuse to settle for anything less.

But you have to be open to seeing the difference between what love really is and who it’s for and what your very powerful belief system - the one you've been creating you're entire life - would have you believing.

You have to be willing to see the difference – and take a chance on experiencing that difference for what it is. Real. Authentic. True.

And that is exactly what you do deserve. All of us do.

Because when you change your outlook on love to one of abundance instead of scarcity, to one that’s available to every single one of us,  you will open yourself to accept the love that is flowing all around you.

All you have to do is be open enough to allow it in.

See it, notice it, accept it.

And know that it's there for you, too.

What beliefs about love are you holding onto that might be keeping you from having the kind of love you want? Tell us about it in the comments!

Why Not You?

14 Comments

A beautiful woman runs through a sunlit field with her arms outstretched, believing in love
Love is for everyone, including you!

I know we all have our reasons.

We all have our deeply ingrained stories about our lives and our loves that we've been programmed with since before we could even talk.

Stories we've been told, and have been re-telling ourselves for so long that they’re now simply a part of our subconscious belief system.

Embedded in our psyches.

And these stories keep us stuck.

It's what keeps us attracting men who are below that level. It's what keeps us attracted to men below that level.

It's what keeps us thinking things like "He's out of my league" and "I'm not good enough for a guy like him." All because we don’t believe we’re worth more than this.

So when we’re out and about, who is it we find ourselves attracted to? We don’t even notice the ones who would never dream of treating us the way we’re allowing ourselves to be treated. We don’t even see him among the crowd and we never give him the opportunity to see us because we’re operating at that level of belief that we are only worth so much.

And nothing more.Continue Reading

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About Jane Garapick

Hi, I'm Jane Garapick. I'm here to provide inspiration, support and empowerment on the journey to true love. I know what it’s like to have a broken heart, a broken dream, and a broken you. And I know for a fact, that your dreams can still come true! Read more...
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