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Her subject line read "Hurt and Lonely"

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A beautiful woman with her face in her hands because her self esteem is so low.
I keep myself busy, but it hurts so bad.

Our letter today comes from Penny, who got my attention with her subject like that read "Hurt and Lonely." My heart went out to her as I read her story.

Read what she wrote to me - and my response - below. Then you can tell her what you want her to know in the comments there, too.

Her Letter:

Hi Jane,

I have four grown children, just over a year apart. The 50 yr. old is the oldest. I ended up raising them alone, since the oldest was 10 yrs. old.

I had to work two full time jobs, as my ex didn't pay child support.

They all turned out good. No troubles with them. My daughter and I were especially close for years, me babysitting, etc., but then I was working full-time and also went to college at 55 yrs. old and she got a job. She has a husband and two kids, I am alone.

We had an argument in 2009 when I was under stress from my mother dying, etc. We can't seem to get it straightened out. She wants nothing to do with me and therefore I also don't see my grandchildren, who are in college.

I've asked for forgiveness, but she won't.Continue Reading

This Thanksgiving, Do THIS Instead!

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A beautiful woman looks out a window wondering why she is not strong.
It's time to let your feelings be felt.

If you’re being flooded with messages today telling you all the things you should be thankful for, and the LAST thing you feel right now is grateful, I’m here to tell you I see you, I hear you, and I feel every bit of what you’re going through today.

NOT feeling our feelings is the problem with so much of what’s gone wrong in our lives and I’m here to tell you that it’s okay if you don’t feel what everyone’s telling you you’re SUPPOSED to feel today.

It’s easy to feel grateful when you’re warm and cozy in your house with a husband or partner who loves you, surrounded by babies (or fur babies) who make your house feel like a home. It's easy to feel thankful when you’ve got enough money, a secure job, your health, and good friends and relatives who make you feel loved and supported.Continue Reading

Your Worst Fear

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Rear view pensive thoughtful woman sitting on sofa alone, lost in thoughts, upset female having psychological problem, heartbreak, thinking about being alone
Here's why it's not going to happen.

We have to talk about your worst fear. I know you've got many, but this one stands out because it's the one that's hurting you the most.

There's too many of us here hanging onto a guy who's already missed all your checkboxes only because you're afraid you'll never meet anyone else as good as him.

This is the absolute worst reason to put up with what you're putting up with right now!

See, there aren't all these people walking around on this planet right now and no one who could possibly be someone for you.

This is one of the biggest lies we've ever been programmed with; that you have to ignore how badly someone is treating you, that you have to minimize and excuse away all those behaviors that you used to say you'd never tolerate, just to avoid being alone.

No, you're not going to be alone forever!Continue Reading

Are you with someone who isn't really there?

8 Comments

Woman sitting by a lake feeling all alone in her relationship.
Where is he?

Look around you.

Where is he?

Is he there?

Is he reaching out to you? Is he showing you he's worth all the time and energy you're spending thinking about him, wondering about him, going back over and over what you should have done instead?

No, he's not there.

He's not anywhere that you know for sure. Only in your mind. Only when you bring him up, when you remind yourself of everything he was, everything he seemed to be in what seems like such a different time and place.Continue Reading

The "A" word - Alone

39 Comments

 A beautiful woman sits on the ground feeling alone in her relationship.
Haven’t you ever felt awfully alone when you’re actually in a relationship with the wrong guy?

Sometimes, if we look at the reasons we stay in a relationship that isn't working, we find that it’s all about the A word.

Alone.

If we’re really honest with ourselves, I think we’d find that much of the stuff we allow in our relationships is because we’re afraid of being alone. As in, without a guy.

I think a lot of us feel that way even if we don’t want to admit it.

We don’t want to be alone. Whether it’s our culture that tells us we need to be with someone, be part of a couple to be OK, or whether it’s our own internalized belief system, we can go to great lengths to make sure we’re with someone, even if he’s not the one for us.

Because at least he’s someone.

And if he’s someone and we’re with him, than we’re not alone.Continue Reading

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About Jane Garapick

Hi, I'm Jane Garapick. I'm here to provide inspiration, support and empowerment on the journey to true love. I know what it’s like to have a broken heart, a broken dream, and a broken you. And I know for a fact, that your dreams can still come true! Read more...
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