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Are you calling this a flaw?

33 Comments

Beautiful woman looking into a mirror.
Let's change how you see yourself.

I've got something for you to do today.

I want you to find the worst thing about you, the part of you that you most wish you weren't, and turn it around.

What's the other positive side of it? What other purpose does it serve?

I used to hate how sensitive I was, I saw it as such a flaw. But when I could finally see the other side of it, the part that allowed me to feel another's pain, to sense when I was around people who were safe or unsafe, and to experience joy as deeply as I experience sadness, I came to accept and embrace that part of me as well.

There's something about accepting what we call a flaw and turning it around that makes us stronger, more confident, because we know more of who we are and why we're exactly the way we're meant to be.

What is that "flaw" - that's anything but a flaw - for you? Tell me in the comments, I want you to hear exactly what it is!

Love,

Jane

Want to learn more about bringing him in closer (instead of him pulling away)?  Join our mailing list by clicking the button below, and I'll send you my complimentary video and E-book "4 Proven Ways to Make Him ADORE You (Like He's Never Adored Anyone Before!)"

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My partner wants to rekindle friendship with his ex and I don't know what to do!

10 Comments

Unhappy couple after fight not talking to each other
He was devastated when she left him.

Today's letter comes from one of the beautiful members in our community, Kate, who's at a loss to know what to do when her partner announced he wants to rekindle his friendship with his ex. I can imagine how most of us would feel about this; let's see if we can help Kate out here, too!

Her Story:

Dear Jane,

I’m struggling with the thought of my partner reconnecting with his ex.

When we met over ten years ago he was still upset for over two years occasionally about the way she cheated, ended their relationship and threw him out.Continue Reading

One guy; really?

8 Comments

Beautiful woman looking out the window on a rainy day, wondering if it serves her.
It's time to look at it for what it really is.

He's one guy.

I get that.

One really important guy you've pinned all your hopes and dreams on.

I get that, too.

But because one person isn't capable of seeing you, you're going to let that one person define your worth?

No! Not this time and not any other time either.

We're done doing that. We've done that too many times already.

Take him down off that pedestal right now, girl, and take a look at what you've actually got.

The real picture, not the fantasy of "but you don't know him like I do" that you keep coming back to. I DO know him like you do because guys like him are the ONLY ones I'd ever known before I finally did something about it and they all follow a familiar pattern.

Someone who breaks your heart over and over again.

Someone who triggers every one of your blind spots so you can't even see why it's happening. (Get my program WHY MEN PULL AWAY if you want to finally understand why.)

Sure, those good times feel great. Sure, he's got a ton of potential. But there's more to life than potential that breaks your heart every single day, more to life than tears and loneliness and waiting for something to change.

Whatever happened to the woman you used to be who would NEVER allow herself to be treated this way?

Love,

Jane

Whatever happened to her? We all have our stories, our reasons why we've settled for the things that we do. Share yours here in the comments so we can make her more than just a memory again. I want to bring you back to the woman you used to be who stands in her power and NEVER allows herself to be treated this way!

Duped by an avoidant guy. Is it fear that drove him away?

8 Comments

Sad woman hugging her emotionally unavailable boyfriend and looking down.
Was fear the driver of all of this?

Ever wondered why you keep attracting men with an avoidant-attachment style? Anne shared her story about someone just like this. Read on to hear what happened and my thoughts on why.

Her Story:

Hi Jane ...I just bought your book after another failed almost-relationship. It was so helpful, thank you. I wanted to explain my story; sorry that it’s long.

I work in a helping profession and am patient and all about feelings; I'm like so many of the women in this community.Continue Reading

Don't accept this!

39 Comments

A beautiful woman is holding her head in her hands wondering if her boyfriend who has commitment issues is just playing games or if he wants a committed relationship.
I feel like I wasn't good enough.

I'm speaking to every one of you today who's ever been left by some guy who was NEVER good enough for you.

Stop with the "I wasn't good enough", "He's thrown me away", and everything else we say.

No, you haven't been discarded, girl. Don't accept that as your verdict!

You were saved from being with someone who would NEVER have been the one for you unless you were someone else. So choose to either change to be that someone else - or embrace who you already are and accept that you can't make someone want to be with you who isn't looking for you!

This isn't a "prove your worth" game with all the wrong ones; it's a "find someone who's actually compatible with you because he's looking for someone just like you" reality.

Not a game, not a challenge, not a distraction from doing your own work. It's a beautiful life if you choose to stop looking at it in these old no-longer-serving-you ways!

Okay?

Love,

Jane

Tell me you got this message loud and clear in the comments, girl. I see you. I've felt your pain. And no, he still doesn't get to discard you. You were saved for something far better than him!

Can I trust him when he wants to "take it slow"?

19 Comments

Portrait of young happy woman in front of couple embracing each other
He says he needs to date other women to be sure.

Beautiful Emma wants a committed, exclusive relationship with her boyfriend of almost three months, but he doesn't. Ever been there?

Here's what she wrote:

Hi Jane... I love your work.

I know you've talked about these types of men before but I'm hoping you can help me with the following issue:

I've been seeing this guy I met online for, maybe, 2.5 months (not exclusive). We have a great connection.Continue Reading

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About Jane Garapick

Hi, I'm Jane Garapick. I'm here to provide inspiration, support and empowerment on the journey to true love. I know what it’s like to have a broken heart, a broken dream, and a broken you. And I know for a fact, that your dreams can still come true! Read more...
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