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Relationships

The Relationships category contains posts regarding the stage after dating, in which you are generally in an exclusive monogamous relationship. The Relationships category includes posts on such topics as meeting the family, commitment, is he the right one for you?, etc.

He Won't Stay and He Won't Go

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A beautiful woman with her face in her hands wonders what to do.
I'm just not sure what to do...

One of our lovely readers, Sunflower, writes to ask if she should move in with boyfriend who says he loves her, but whose actions may tell a different story ...

Here's what she wrote:

I met this guy 12 years ago, he loves me, but he is commitment phobic.

After 5 years, I gave him an ultimatum, knowing it was the wrong thing to do. I told him since other women are calling you it seems to me that you want to have an open relationship, let's do that.

I will date other guys, too.

He said fine, but when he saw me having dinner with someone else he totally changed and got really upset. He called me everyday, wanted me back.

I refused for a month.

One day I gave up. I left a guy with great potential, and went back with him hoping he would change.Continue Reading

Will He Ever Be Capable of Committing to Marriage?

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Will he ever be capable of making a real commitment?
Will he ever be capable of making a real commitment?

Our gorgeous friend, Anita, has written in to tell us about her boyfriend of 4-1/2 years who just doesn't seem to be able to commit to marriage.

Here's her email:

Dear Jane,

I left my live in boyfriend 11 months ago because he seemed to have no plans to ever marry me.

He also refused to communicate at all, by that I mean if I tried to talk to him about anything regarding my feelings or our relationship (which I did very seldom) he would completely ignore me & refuse to answer me, look at me or even acknowledge my presence at all.

This was ALWAYS the response no matter how loving I was he refused to speak or even tell me if we could discuss the issue another time.Continue Reading

How Could He Just Walk Away?

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A man walks away from a woman after break up.
I don't understand what happened!

This week, our gorgeous friend, Elise, is second guessing herself and wondering if she did the right thing.

Here's her letter:

Dear Jane,

I broke up from my boyfriend 6 days a go. We met a year ago and started to like each other very quickly. I am 26 and he 27.

Upon discussing values and life goals we realized some key differences, I am religious and eventually I want to settle down with children. I was resolute about not wanting to go further unless we were clear we wanted the same things.

He said he couldn't say if he wanted those things for his life and we decided to stop seeing each other. But 2 months later he got back in touch with me and after mentioning how he had visited friends during holidays and the children had loved him we entered a relationship.Continue Reading

The Only Role You’re Meant to Play

14 Comments

A beautiful woman is standing on stage, representing a brand new you.
It's time for you to shine.

It’s opening night.

All eyes are on the curtain as it slowly begins to rise.

There you are.

He’s looking at you like he’s never seen you before. And with good reason. He hasn’t.

Not like this.

You step out into the spotlight and he sees the woman he’s been waiting for his entire life.

You.

He can’t look anywhere else. You mesmerize him like no one else has ever done before.Continue Reading

Why He Keeps You Hanging On

33 Comments

A woman walks away from a man with a rose in the foreground, symbolizing a break up.
Why won't he just make a commitment?

You’re perplexed. Puzzled. Utterly Confused.

On the one hand, he says he’s not ready for a commitment. He says he can’t give you what you’re looking for.

But then instead of letting you go, he shows up just enough to keep that hope alive.

Hope in him. Hope in what one day will be him and you. 

You’ve asked me why. You want to know what he’s doing, what his motivation is, and whether you’ve got a chance at things working out with him.

Could he not have meant what he said? Could he just be confused? Could it be that there’s hope for the two of you after all?Continue Reading

Things Were Going So Well - Then He Disappeared!

28 Comments

Woman-looking-at-phone-wondering-why-he-suddenly-disappeared
Why is he completely ignoring me?

Our letter this week comes from one of our sweet readers, who has chosen to call herself "Confused and in Love (I'll just call her "Love"). Her boyfriend has suddenly stopped answering all calls, emails and texts - he's basically disappeared on her.

Her email:

Hi, I was hoping you could provide me some advice.

I’ve been in a relationship with my boyfriend for over 8 months. He's a great guy and always is considerate and thoughtful of me and my feelings.

The past 8 months have been fantastic, maybe some very minor bouts of miscommunication (less than what I could list on one hand) but other than that great.

He recently (less than a month ago) got a new job that he is very excited and nervous about (it’s his dream job and he wants to excel at it). Since getting this new job he’s been a bit stressed and less present in the relationship, he was still putting effort into the relationship but not as much as before.Continue Reading

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