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You are here: Home / Archives for Relationships

Relationships

The Relationships category contains posts regarding the stage after dating, in which you are generally in an exclusive monogamous relationship. The Relationships category includes posts on such topics as meeting the family, commitment, is he the right one for you?, etc.

Asking for What We Need

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A beautfiul woman is feeling anxiety over asking for what she needs.
You don't have to be afraid of the response.

Most of us have fears and even trauma around asking for what we need or setting boundaries because of how this has been received in our past.

We only know the extremes of coming across accommodating or demanding instead of the balance of taking ownership of what we need, recognizing we have a right to ask for that, while allowing those we ask this of to have a right to their own response, even if it's not the response we want.

We don't have to be afraid of their response.

Instead, we can view it as giving us the information we need to know where we go from here, to be able to be informed as to what's in our actual best interest and how we can better make decisions and  communicate additional information based on that response.

This isn't easy communication or conversations for most of us, especially when we've been brought up to be so accommodating and understanding of everyone else's needs to the detriment of our own.

I've been here.Continue Reading

No, You Shouldn't Be Able to "Just Walk Away"

7 Comments

A beautiful woman is feeling sad and broken hearted about her relationship.
Because it's not your fault.

No, you're not supposed to know all this without someone teaching it to you.

No, you shouldn't be able to just walk away.

And while we're here, no, there isn't anything wrong with you if you're "still" single.

Even today there's still such a stigma with being single for those of us in our culture who aren't single by choice, who long to be with someone, and never expected our lives to turn out the way they have.

You feel it.

It wears on you.

You hide more than you respond.

Continue Reading

I'm Desperate! My Partner Has Distanced Himself From Me and I Don't Know What to Do

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A beautiful woman with her face in her hands because her self esteem is so low.
I miss how we used to be.

Our letter this week comes from a reader who calls herself "Hopelessly in Love" (I'll call her "Hil".)

Sound familiar? I know most of us can relate to that feeling at some point or another and it's usually right up until we learn how to recognize the difference between something "hopeless" and something real.

Here's her story.

Hi Jane,

I need help. I'm desperate!

I met my partner online, we hit it off and exchanged phone numbers, we texted every waking day/night for hours and hours, even facetimed every day/night.

Recently I've noticed that my partner has changed completely, almost like a 360 turn around.Continue Reading

The Other Influence

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legs mother and daughter little girl fashionista in pink shoes on high heels
Indeed, on the surface, it seems like the culturally ascribed perfect mother-daughter relationship.

Years ago, I began my blog writing about the link between the emotionally unavailable men we choose and our own emotionally unavailable fathers.

And while so many of you found your answers in exactly that connection, there was another group of women finding their way here as well.

For them, this wasn't at all about their fathers. It was about their .... mothers.

The first one I chalked up to an anomaly. A few more and I still thought it was rare. But the more women I worked with, the more I realized there was something here I had to explore further. Book after book and article after article, combined with in-person interviews confirmed for me what my real-life experience had suggested.

It wasn’t just our emotionally unavailable dads who had created this pattern of attraction as normal in our lives; for many of us, it was our mothers.Continue Reading

When He Goes Radio Silent ... What Do I Do?

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Lonely sad beautiful woman feeling hurt and heartbroken holding phone because boyfriend has gone radio silent
He's giving me the silent treatment and it's so painful.

Ever encountered radio silence before? The silent treatment kind. The worst kind, right?

Well, our letter this week comes from Cecilia who's in the midst of a radio silent phase with her boyfriend of five years.Here's what she had to say and my response. Unfortunately, I'm sure many of you can relate.

Dear Jane,

I need some advice.

My boyfriend of 5 years is giving me the silent treatment and it’s so painful. Given how long we have been together, I cannot believe he would just go radio silent after an argument we had a few days ago.

He won’t tell me if he needs more time or if this is just over. I go between feeling heartbroken and just so angry.Continue Reading

Confused and Upset and Just Want My Boyfriend Back. But is it me?

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A woman is upset after her boyfriend became emotionally distant and pulled away.
I don't want to push him away - what should I do?

Our letter this week comes from one of our beautiful readers L. As you'll see, she's confused and upset and just wants her boyfriend back the way used to be - and is wondering if it might really be because of her that he's acting the way he is.

Here's her letter and what I had to say...

Hi Jane,

I’ve been with my boyfriend for 6 months. The first four months were fantastic. We saw each other whenever we could (both have jobs and children), messaged constantly all day and talked about the future.

A couple of months ago he started to become more distant, taking longer to reply, not instigating meeting up so much etc.Continue Reading

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About Jane Garapick

Hi, I'm Jane Garapick. I'm here to provide inspiration, support and empowerment on the journey to true love. I know what it’s like to have a broken heart, a broken dream, and a broken you. And I know for a fact, that your dreams can still come true! Read more...
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