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Finding Love

The posts in the Finding Love category relate to bringing love into your life, whether you are currently single, dating, or in a relationship. This category includes topics such as finding yourself, knowing what you want, living your life, etc.

Why? Because he's the guy I chose.

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Cute little daughter and her handsome young dad in skirts are dancing and smiling while playing together in child's room
I can't imagine any of the men I dated before doing the same thing.

My husband got up at 4am to stand outside in a line outside my daughter's dance studio, to register her in a first-come first-served registration system (plenty we could say about that type of system, but for now, it is what it is). He let me sleep in and switch with him later.

He was the only dad there.

Why? Because he's the guy I chose.

Oh I chose a lot of men before him, but only because I didn't know myself well enough to know what I actually wanted, and would continue to want years down the road.

I can't imagine any of the men I dated previously doing the same thing, and that's precisely why none of them worked out.

After so much heartbreak chasing after all the wrong men for me, who of course seemed so right at the time (they always do!), I finally realized I wanted the family man. For real. Someone who puts his family first.Continue Reading

7 Things You Need to Do Different to Attract Someone Different

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A beautiful woman is on a romantic date with a man.
Here's what you need to do if you want to attract someone different.

If we're going to change who and what we attract, if we're going to start seeing something different in who and what shows up in our lives, we've got to start by making some big changes in how we're actually living our lives.

Today.

Not tomorrow. Not when we have more energy or time to get this right, but right now.

Here's what we're going to do:

1. Stop making anyone - and yes, I do mean anyone - the center of your universe.

It's not good for either one of you.

YOU'RE the center of your universe.

And no, that's not selfish. That's a healthy way to live your life based not on yet another fantasy but on reality. The one you control, not someone you give all your control to hoping for a different result than the one you've gotten so used to seeing.Continue Reading

It Won’t Always Be This Way

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A woman in a white cotton dress is walking through tall grass.
Every day we wake up to an opportunity to choose something different.

If there's one thing I want you to take from what I have to say today, it's this:

It won't always be this way.

Most of how we respond, operate and act is based on the completely wrong assumption that it's always going to be this way.

That nothing is going to get better, we're never going to have the life we want, the new guy is never going to turn into the right guy, and that new job, new career opportunity is never going to happen for us.

It belies whatever we're saying on the surface because it's so deeply embedded in our subconsciousness. You don't even realize it's there except by the fact that nothing changes, nothing gets better, the new guy never turns into the right guy, and that new career opportunity never materializes.

See what happened there?

Nothing changes because we don't actually believe anything is capable of changing. For all our hope, for all our words to the contrary, our actual actions keep creating more and more of the same.

Because of that subconscious belief system again!

But things DO change.Continue Reading

Look for THIS Instead

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A beautiful woman looks in a mirror wanting it to be the way it was.
It's time to stop second-guessing yourself.

Life is messy.

Relationships aren't fantasies.

Who you are and who he is are products of years of programming - mostly the subconsious kind neither one of you are even aware of.

Do yourself a huge favor right now (before you're in over your head) and choose someone who's on the same page as you. Someone who understands real vs. perfect and chooses real. I can't stress this point strongly enough; you only want to be with someone who you don't have to be anything but yourself around.

It's hard enough to make a relationship last for the long term in the very best of circumstances!Continue Reading

Why Waiting Never Works the Way It's Supposed To

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A beautiful woman sits on a park bench wondering why she loves him.
Waiting around for something to happen won't get you where you want to be.

You sit on the sidelines waiting for something that never happens.

You spend all your energy searching for something that never comes.

And while you spend all your time waiting, hoping, comparing (and then waiting some more), there's a life that's being lost in the process. A life begging to be lived, pleading to be explored.

Not when you find him. Not when you're no longer on your own. Not when you're brave enough or ready enough in whatever way would speak readiness to you.

There's so many roads to the same place.

So many ways to catch a glimpse of some him, to find your path crosses the same path as someone you were meant to cross paths with too. But of all the roads you may choose, I know of no other road that delivers you there quite like the road of actual living.Continue Reading

Why Finding Someone to Love You Has NEVER Been Your Problem

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The word love and a heart symbol written in snow.
Love isn’t just a feeling.

Getting a guy, attracting a guy, finding someone to love you has never been your problem.

Never.

Getting a guy who isn’t capable of seeing you, attracting someone who you actually want instead of the ones who mirror your own interpretations of what’s wrong with you and treat you accordingly, recognizing what it is you want in someone who loves you  - these are the problem!

You want the guy who isn’t capable of seeing you to see you.

You want the guy who reminds you of someone else in your life who didn’t deserve your kind of love either.

And you’re basing love on such a short-sighted view of what it means to be loved that you’re missing the entire point of being in love with someone.

Love isn’t just a feeling.

Or if it is, and if that’s what love means to you, then accept that and go find someone who you can have that feeling with, without anything else. Just a feeling.Continue Reading

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About Jane Garapick

Hi, I'm Jane Garapick. I'm here to provide inspiration, support and empowerment on the journey to true love. I know what it’s like to have a broken heart, a broken dream, and a broken you. And I know for a fact, that your dreams can still come true! Read more...
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