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Dating

The posts in the dating category relate to the early stages of a relationship, before the two of you are exclusive. The dating category includes topics such as where to find men, how do I find Mr. Right?, first dates, should you call him, etc.

Is He Really a Bad Texter or Am I Just There to Fill in His Lonely Time?

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Close up of womans hand using mobile phone on a bokeh background, symbolizing that her boyfriend doesn't text her.
Why doesn't he want to text me?

Our letter this week comes from one of my readers who's not sure what to make of her new "boyfriend", or if he's even her boyfriend. Sound familiar? Read on to hear more of her story and my response ...

Here's her story:

Hi Jane,

So I’ve met this guy via an online app around 1.5 months ago and we’ve been seeing each other ever since then (once or twice a week during the weekends).

We haven’t had the "define the relationship" talk yet but there was one time he called himself “boyfriend” (first few dates) but I only realized it a few days after as I wasn’t really concentrating at that moment.

One time, he also told me how lucky he is to have me as his girlfriend but I did not question him because it was already a late night and I was exhausted so I decided to let it go.

I have been thinking of bringing this relationship talk up but I’m worried he might feel pressured about it so I am just giving us a little bit more time. I am also questioning as to why he would just assume I became his girlfriend before asking me or having the talk.Continue Reading

I slept with my boss and now it's awkward

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Relationship problems concept - close up of man in shirt dressing up and adjusting tie on neck over woman in bed background.
Afterward he just brushed me aside, got changed, and handed me my things.

Our letter today comes from Claire, who's in a situation with her boss that she needs some advice on. Here it is, along with my response. Even if you've never been in this situation, read on because there's some underlying themes of power and control I think you'll relate to.

Here's her email:

Hi Jane,

I am a 21-year-old female who like many other women have nowadays got involved with their boss. I have only been in the business for 7 months and I worry I could lose my job over this.

But anyway, when I started working with him I was only 20, it started off as any natural friendly relationship would, although with the casual flirtatious joke or dirty remark at times, but I thought this was part of his personality at times.

Fast forward a few months and we started messaging on Instagram and from there it turned very flirtatious although he had stated he didn't want a relationship and I had said the same thing.Continue Reading

I Like Him But He Just Wants to be Friends

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A group of male and female friends are out together socially at a restaurant.
He acts like he likes me but says he just wants to be friends.

Where have we heard that before? It's an all too familiar one for most of us. And that's our letter writer's story this week, one of our beautiful readers who wants to remain Anonymous, so I'm calling her Lee. She likes a guy who only wants to be friends so she's wondering what to do.

Her letter:

So the thing is.... I like a guy from my school and he is amazing. Well, we talk a lot and we even text often.

But at the end of the day when I tell him I like him, he says he still wants us to be friends. I don't know what to do.

-Lee

My response:

Continue Reading

Ugh! I've Been Ghosted Again

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A beautiful woman looks at her phone feeling confused over whether she should choose commitment or chemistry.
For the life of me, I don't know what happened.

Ever been ghosted? I talk to so many of you who have! Our letter this week comes from one of our beautiful subscribers, Kim, who has, too, and I know you'll identify with so much of what she's going through.

Here's what she wrote to me:

Hi Jane,

I am at my wits end! I truly feel like I may never find a decent man. I have been ghosted again. I thought he was different. We had gone out 3 times and talked or texted every day for about a month.

He is a single dad of 2 and he was very open about the challenges that might create. I was willing to work with it because he seemed so sincere and everything was there between us that I thought needed to be.

I did notice that we were not talking as much a couple of weeks in, more texting. He had a big project at work and was working long hours etc. He started sharing less and of course I thought it was me overanalyzing but I knew something was different.

My father left and pretty much never looked back so I know I have abandonment and trust issues. I try very hard not to let those fears and hurts dictate my actions when dating.Continue Reading

Suddenly No Response!

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A beautiful woman is sitting On Couch At Home anxiously looking at her phone wondering why he hasn't responded.
I can't believe I'm feeling so bad about this.

It was Julia's letter that showed up in my inbox the other day, and like so many of you, she found reassurance in knowing she wasn't alone in dealing with her current heartbreak; dealing with a guy who once was at first so responsive, now not responding at all.

Here's her story.

Hi Jane,

I came across this website so thought I'd try to find some reassurance here.

I've been divorced for a short time after a long marriage. I reunited with an old boyfriend I hadn't seen since my early twenties. We got along so well, like we'd been together for years.

I've always believed that we were made for each other.

He lives interstate but we kept in touch; he's also divorced and was making plans to come see me.Continue Reading

First He Became Distant, Now He Just Disappears

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Beautiful woman sad sitting on the window sill and painting on glass feeling heartbroken because it's hard to move on.
I'm devastated, I can't stop crying, texting and calling him.

Beautiful Jalyn writes to tell us her story and it's one I know so many of us, myself included, have experienced first hand.

Here's what she wrote:

I was dating a guy for over a year. We are both 27.

He has two children and I have none. We went on dates, vacations, met each other’s family.

When we started dating it was a lot of red flags but I liked him a lot that I looked past all of it. We used to spend 2 days/nights together. In the last couple months he became distant. Now he disappears for a week or two.

I would get angry and send him nasty text messages calling him awful names. He would say it’s because of my temper and I’ll forgive him and take him back.

It happened at least 8 times.Continue Reading

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