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Should I Wait or Move On?

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Rear view of a woman holding the curtains open to look out of a large light window at home.
Do you think he might come back for me?

It's only been a couple months, but Wynn is head over heels for her boyfriend who's just dropped some disappointing news on her. Now she's wondering if she should wait for him or move on.

Here's what she told me:

Hi Jane,

I have been dating my Marine boyfriend for a couple months now and I am totally head over heels for him.

I think he feels the same about me, but he had to move across country for school and he says that we can't be together because of the distance and because he will be too busy.

He cried so hard when he left that I don't think it's just an excuse.

Do you think he might come back for me when school is over or do you think I should just move on?Continue Reading

I lived this way for years

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Beautiful woman sad sitting on the window sill and painting on glass feeling heartbroken because it's hard to move on.
I tried so hard.

I don't know who told you being single is your punishment for something you did in your past but I do know this; they were wrong.

Who you've been and what you've done is about what you thought you had to do to be loved.

Everything you did - no matter how much you know better now - was about getting someone to love you. Even if you didn't know that back then, even if you're beating yourself up now, holding yourself to some standard of perfection you could never have lived up to back then, this still isn't about some punishment you're wearing like an albatross around your neck!

I lived this way for years. Trying so hard to make the hardest cases to crack actually love me.

I measured my worth by them. The irony was, they had no clue how to love, they couldn't even love themselves, let alone someone with as much light and love as me.Continue Reading

Should I Let Go and Move On or Keep Trying?

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A woman is upset after her boyfriend became emotionally distant and pulled away.
Am I wasting my time waiting?

Morgan's confused as to why her guy of almost 2 years won't commit to her and make her his girlfriend.

Now she's wondering if it's time to let go and move on, or if she should wait it out.

Sound familiar?

Here's what she wrote to me:

Hi Jane,

I've been dating this guy for almost 2 years. We have little disagreements here and there but for the most part, everything is great.

I'm confused as to why he won't make me his girlfriend.

We started talking right after his broke up with his girlfriend of 5 years. At that time, I wasnt looking for anything serious and wasnt sure where this was going so I was fine with keeping things casual.

Now I want more.Continue Reading

It's Time to Give Up

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A woman is lying her head on a couch wondering why she keeps attracting emotionally unavailable men.
It's time to stop trying to be something other than who you really are.

Give up trying to be that girl who has everything you want.

Give up trying to be that girl who does what you've never been able to do.

Give up trying to be that girl who doesn't have to take life seriously, who never seems to feels the pain, who lives her life for having fun.

Give up trying to be her!

You know who I'm talking about. The one you're comparing yourself to, the one you wish you were, the one you try so hard to be.

"Why can't I be more like her?!" Because you're not her. You're you.

Your journey is your own.

What you've been through is yours.

What you can't unsee is a part of that journey.

How it's changed you, how it's molded you, is all of you.Continue Reading

Do you do this too?

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Beautiful woman looking out the window on a rainy day, wondering if it serves her.
There's a way to stop.

Do you do this? Do you attach way too fast?

Do you pick up on a few important cues and then that's it, you start to fill in the blanks and conclude this is your place/your person before you even know anything about them?

Are you all in before you even know where you've found yourself?

When you grew up in an environment where you didn't have a secure attachment (and especially if you're a deeply sensitive soul!) you're still searching for that kind of attachment to someone you can transfer the fulfillment of that need onto.Continue Reading

I still can't move on 3 years after breaking up

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Closeup of a beautiful woman is looking sad becasue her boyfriend has disappeared on her and she wants closure.
I haven't been able to move on since then.

Beautiful Christina is having trouble moving on long after an emotional breakup from a very intense relationship, and she needs our help.

Here's her story:

Hi Jane,

I'm a long time follower of your work, and you've helped me so much with several break ups and honouring my self worth. Thank you for that.

I have a question about moving on, which I'm having a difficult time doing and I don't know why.

It's been almost 3 years since me and my ex broke up. It was a whirlwind romance...starting as a summer fling.

He was an overseas traveller on a temporary visa when we met, and we fell in love hard and fast. It was unexpected, and it felt like the universe brought us together.

We dated for 5 months before his visa ran out and had to leave the country. It was so painful for us to be ripped apart, not by choice, as we desperately wanted to be together.Continue Reading

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