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There's what HE SHOULD be doing & then there's what YOU can live with NOT doing

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Closeup of a beautiful woman is looking sad becasue her boyfriend has disappeared on her and she wants closure.
Because living with regret is much worse.

You already know he should be the one reaching out. And yeah, you shouldn't have to be the bigger person here. But we're not talking about hypotheticals here; we're talking about you.

And if it's your heart that's breaking and you're the only one who's capable of feeling anything, this is your window to do something about it.

He'll move on. He'll find someone else who accepts him just as he is even as she's nothing like you and never will be.

I've seen this play out too many times.

But we're not talking about him here, we're talking about you. You're the one who has to live with your regrets, not your friends telling you to dump him, that you deserve so much more than what you're putting up with.

I tell you that!Continue Reading

Stuck in a Long Distance Relationship with No Communication? You're Not Alone

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Close up of womans hand using mobile phone on a bokeh background, symbolizing that her boyfriend doesn't text her.
I know he's busy, but four days without even a text?

Our letter today comes from Becca, who's in a long distance relationship with a guy who's got a "too busy" schedule for her even as he's telling her he wants to settle down. She's not buying it and wants to know if she should stay or go.

Here's her story and my response:

Hi Jane,

I'm dating a film director who informed me from the jump that his schedule can be hectic and sometimes he may not be able to reply etc. He also told me his career comes before anything and anyone!

He's organizing his film premiere and I haven't heard from him in 4 days.

In general, I always get a hold of him or hear from him. We're in a long distance relationship, he's coming to see me in a couple of weeks and I just don't know if I can handle him choosing his career over me.Continue Reading

What No One Ever Told You About Attraction and Compatibility

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Silhouette of a woman and a man about to kiss, symbolizing love.
Yes, attraction is very important, but...

I work with a lot of divorced women who are doing this the second time around. And there's a pattern I've noticed.

The guy they chose their first time around isn't the one they're choosing this time. What they learned about their first choice is influencing their second choice.

Whether this is your own first search or you're like them, doing this the second time around, I've got something invaluable to tell you to help you in your own search.

If you're a deep and sensitive person and choose the macho guys-guy kind of men, unless you've changed who you are, your next guy needs to be a deep and sensitive guy, too. These women have found that just because their original guy lit them up because he was so different from them and they were like, "Hey, what's it like to be you?!" doesn't mean they're actually compatible with this type of guy.Continue Reading

My Boyfriend is Flirting with Other Women on Twitter

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young attractive couple in relationship problem with internet mobile phone addiction boyfriend ignoring sad neglected and bored girlfriend at home couch feeling depressed and lonely
He flirts more with other women than me.

This week's letter comes from beautiful Maggie, who's confused about her relationship with a guy who's spending too much time paying attention to other women on social media, and not much on her.

Here's what she wrote:

I met a guy on Tinder in Lockdown.

We started talking on the phone for a month and getting to know each other. We couldn't go on a date coz everything was closed so I went to his apartment the first time we met and spent the weekend there.

It seemed like I knew him for months.

He asked me to be his GF and cooked for me. I said yes and we started dating.

We continued love bombing each other and everything went well until.... I found out that he was flirting with girls on his Twitter but he kept saying that it's not flirting to him because it's public so I can see it and they are just tweets.Continue Reading

Can't Let Go? Do This Instead

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Beautiful woman sad sitting on the window sill and painting on glass feeling heartbroken because it's hard to move on.
I know I need to let go, but I just can't.

She said she can’t let go. She needs him to let her go instead because she’s not strong enough to do it.

Okay, so I hear her and I hear all of her echoing where you are and what you feel. The pull you feel is too strong. The good stuff you get from this guy is too good and the bad stuff, while it breaks your heart, well, you can justify it as long as you keep focusing on the good parts.

So here’s what you need to hear today if you’re going to change this. Because no, he's not going to change this. He's not going to be the one to let you go if he hasn't already.

Why would he? Girl, he's got it soooo good with you!

Do this instead.Continue Reading

Tired of Never Being His Priority? So Is She

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A beautiful woman is sitting on the couch upset because she wants to be married and have children and her boyfriend does not want marriage.
I feel like I'm just not a priority in his life.

Have you ever felt tired of not being a priority in his life? If so, you're not alone. Gorgeous Monica writes to me this week about her boyfriend who prioritizes much of his life higher than her.

Here's her email:

Hi Jane,

I have been with my guy for 8 years on and off hot and cold. His main priorities have always been

#1 his daughter

#2 his job

I was always number 3

I feel so rejected by accepting that also very controlled.Continue Reading

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