I've been talking a lot recently about the difference between something being easy and something being simple.
Like relationships.
And love.
And choosing something different than you're used to choosing.
Some of you get so down on yourselves because you get this in theory, but then you can't seem to apply it to your practical reality. You may have friends or family who make you feel like there's something wrong with you because it's not happening the way they make it seem like it should be, but the truth is, there's a world of difference between easy and simple.
Please stop being so hard on yourself. You make this so much more difficult when you add your own self-criticism to everything else you're feeling!
Sure, it may be simple things we're learning here like self-love, raising the bar, respecting ourselves, recognizing our programming and refusing to settle for less than we deserve, but don't ever tell yourself that it's easy.
Because it's not.
It's going to feel as hard as breaking any other addiction; our addiction to love and people and relationships that are so familiar because of how dysfunctional our past relationships have been.
Chaos and drama will feel comfortable even as we say we don't want them.
Earning someone's love will feel like a basic tenet of building a relationship.
Anxiety will feel like normal butterflies that mean there's something there - and not something to avoid.
Leaving behind our own lives for someone with an empty promise of a more exciting one will make our lives feel worth living again - not realizing what we're losing in the process: ourselves.
No, it's not easy.
Don't beat yourself up with shoulds about why it should be. It's not.
But what it is, is necessary.
And so worth it in the end when you have someone who loves you for you and shows you with his actions that he's capable of loving you every single day, not just when it's convenient for him.
Love,
Jane
What about you? Are you confusing simple with easy? Time to have some compassion and grace for yourself. If I can help you in this process, let me know where you're at in the comments below!
He cheated on me and I felt like I did something wrong . After that he tells me he loves me I'm Beautiful and sexy, and like a trophy on his arm. Then he ignores me until he has nothing better to do. Then I'm good enough to hang around. It's been 5 months and I feel like I'm getting better but I still truly love him. I just don't know what to do. People are telling me to just ignore him but it's so hard. 10 years of dating him then someone who resembles his mom he messed with and then told people about it. Then he has the nerve to tell his family that I accused him of cheating. I'm so confused on how that works. I didn't accuse him, but he did cheat! I confronted her and she told me the truth. I had someone with me tho. I told her I forgive her but leave him alone so we can work on us. Nope, she called him right up and she's still messing with him and someone else. He doesn't have a clue either. I can't wait for Karma to get them both.