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Archives for July 2016

Will He Come Back?

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Woman upset after her boyfriend pulled away and disappeared, wondering if he'll ever come back.
Some tiny part tells me to wait but I know I shouldn't.

Our beautiful friend, Tali, had her boyfriend of 4 months suddenly pull away and then disappear and she's wondering if he'll ever come back.

Here's her email:

Dear Jane,

Thank you I just read your reply to Elise's email and it helped me as your emails always help me when I'm going through these constant painful patterns.

The guy I had been seeing for 4 months, who was calling me every day, sometimes even talking on the phone for hours and we were going on dates...messaged me and told me he needs time and he will find a way to get our connection back.

I was very upset and wrote back to his message including questions and he never wrote back.Continue Reading

Someone To Believe In You

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woman laughing while a friend is kissing her representing someone to believe in you.
The truth is we just can't do this on our own.

We’re not meant to do this alone.

You’re not meant to.

And yet contrary to our inner knowing that knows this to be true, we try. Again and again, we try. We’ve put on ourselves that we can do this alone. That it’s a sign of strength, a show of our power, to make it on our own.

I fall into this trap, too.

I think I can do it on my own, that I don’t need anyone else. But the truth – the real truth, not the truth we want it to be – always comes out in the end.

We never should have met. She was a Junior, I was a Freshman. In a University that neither of us intended to attend.

She had envisioned a college in the woods. I had never in my wildest dreams imagined myself in an entirely different country, in Los Angeles, California.

But it was there that we met.Continue Reading

Should I Throw In The Towel and Just Walk Away?

21 Comments

Image of an attractive woman upset over her boyfriend.
After 4 months of dating he still won't call it a relationship.

One of our gorgeous readers, Geena, writes to tell us about her boyfriend of 4 months who's pulling away and still doesn't consider what they have to be a relationship!

Her letter:

Hi Jane,

I have been dating a guy for over 4 months. I felt immediately connected to and comfortable with him, which is unusual for me, as I'm shy. In the beginning he gave me a lot of attention via text and phone calls when he was away for work.

He is out of town for work all week and is only home on weekends. He has his kids every other weekend, so that has left us with only 2 weekends a month to see each other.

For the first few months we got together every weekend we could, but only for one night, not the entire weekend.

He's been very open with me about himself.

He has made himself vulnerable by telling me about insecurities he has and things that happened to him in past relationships and in his childhood. He's extremely affectionate and appreciative when we are together. He truly makes me feel like I am the only woman on earth when we are together.

About 6 weeks ago I asked him if he felt we had the healthy and mature relationship he had told me he wanted in the beginning and wanted he kids to see. (I haven't met his kids yet, and completely understand his feelings about not introducing them to a woman until he is in a relationship with her).Continue Reading

The Truth About "He's Just Not That Into You"

33 Comments

Calendar showing that he hasn't called.
There's another part to all of this...

When I say you can never be too much or not enough for someone who is truly right for you, when I validate you for being who you are, when I advocate for you and every woman like you to stand in your own beautiful feminine power instead of bending and changing for a man, there’s a reason.

There will always be the easy answer, the simple answer that someone could argue. If he was really that into you, he’d be with you.

And while on the one hand I’ll agree with that statement for the most part, there’s another side to this that creates a fallout that no one ever talks about until it’s happened enough times that you go digging for answers and find your way here.

And that’s when you begin to see yourself in a whole new light. That’s when the answers you just knew had to be there suddenly appear.

Because I’ve been there. And I've seen both sides of this story.Continue Reading

How Do I Get Him To Chase Me?

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A woman is dating online looking at her laptop wondering how to get him to chase her.
Do I still keep talking to him or move on?

Our beautiful friend, Cyndi, has been dating a guy who seems to be a bit "hot and cold". Right when she feels like there's a connection, he suddenly disappears on her for days at a time.

Her Story:

Hi Jane,

I am a 48 year old woman, and currently in the middle of a divorce, which luckily is very amicable.

I have been separated for almost four years. During the last four years I have dated and been in relationships with it seems like the same kind of man - either unavailable or still in love with their ex's - so as you can see they haven't been successful.

Even though I learned a new lesson with each man, I am still  confused as to how I should be acting especially in the early stages.

Which leads me to my question.

I have been emailing, texting and talking with a man I met on an online site. At first I would hear from him daily, then he would disappear for a few days, then come back, with an explanation of being really busy, and then disappear again.Continue Reading

She's You

20 Comments

fantasy. woman in enigmatic meadow over cloudy sky
She has an important message for you...

She slowly comes into view.

Happy. Content. Peaceful.

You’ve been through it all. And now you’re there. He’s there with you. The one you thought you missed.

You didn’t.

The one you thought you’d never find.

You did.

The one you never dared to believe could find you.

And of course he found you.

How could he not?

All those things you thought were taking you away from all chances of ever finding him. They’re how he found you!Continue Reading

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