I hear you love him.
I hear you loud and clear when you talk about what he means to you, how great things are when the two of you are together, and how much you want to build a future with him.
But when you’re done with all the things you love about him, there’s something else that matters more than anything else.
How does he make you feel?
Does he make you feel insecure, anxious, unsure about where you stand? Does he give you reason to question him, question your relationship, and even yourself?
You can’t build a relationship on a dream. You can’t build a relationship on qualities he only shows you once in a while.
You can’t build a real, lasting relationship that you actually want to be in for the long term with someone who makes you feel like there’s something wrong with you.
Yes, we all know just how much of our own programming and baggage contributes to this feeling, but being with someone who adds to it instead of lessening it can’t be justified as completely our own doing no matter how much we want to believe it might be.
Relationships take two.
Feeling like something just isn’t right about him, about the relationship and about yourself confirms for you there’s something there that isn’t quite right, even if you can’t put a finger on exactly what it is.
Does he add to your life? Does he add to your happiness? Does he improve your quality of life? Does he bring more love into world, or does this only happen on a good day?
It’s now we’re talking about.
Not when he lives up to the potential you so clearly see.
Not when he comes around and decides he’s ready to settle down.
After all, aren’t you ready now?
Haven’t you waited long enough?
No, you’re not wrong. Yes, you do know what you’re talking about. And yes, you absolutely do know everything you’re feeling.
It’s because you’re sensitive to him, to how he makes you feel, to what you know in your heart of hearts feels right, and what doesn’t, that you can trust that you know something about this.
Don’t talk yourself out of it or try to convince yourself you don’t know.
I know all the arguments out there that no one can make you feel anything you don’t allow yourself to feel. But I also know that you know the difference between being with someone who makes you feel good about yourself, about him, about your relationship (and yes, even the world!) and someone who makes you feel the exact opposite.
Don’t minimize that part.
He needs to have that, too.
How does he make you feel? Tell us your story in the comments. You’re never alone here, no matter what he means to you.