Today I was sorting through a box of old papers and books I found tucked way up on a high shelf in the back of the closet.
I had all but forgotten about this box of sentimental items so carefully packed away in a corner of the closet, left over memories from a life I had almost forgotten about.
Among other things, in it I found some letters I wrote to myself back in my single days, when love seemed like such a faraway dream. Many of them were sayings and quotes that touched me deeply.
I would read these to myself on the dark, lonely nights, and they helped to inspire me to keep going.
One of the papers in particular caught my eye, as it had a poem written on it that I had come across long ago, and printed out to save in this special box. As I read it today, it brought back such a flood of memories for me, tears were streaming down my face as I remembered that earlier version of myself, so uncertain.
I want to share it with all of you. May it inspire and help you as much as it did me.
After a while
After a while you learn the subtle difference between holding a hand and chaining a soul,
And you learn that love doesn’t mean leaning and company doesn’t mean security,
And you begin to learn that kisses aren’t contracts and presents aren’t promises,
And you begin to accept your defeats with your head up and your eyes open, with the grace of an adult, not the grief of a child,
And you learn to build all your roads on today because tomorrow’s ground is too uncertain for plans.
After a while you learn that even sunshine burns if you get too much.
So plant your own garden and decorate your own soul, instead of waiting for someone to bring you flowers.
And you learn that you really can endure …
That you really are strong,
And you really do have worth.
And you learn
And you learn
With every goodbye, you learn…
Veronica A. Shoffstall
Dear GETTING TO TRUE LOVE, I have just gone through a nasty breakup, where my trust was betrayed numerous times and when it ended I was a mess. Since then, ONLY four months ago ! I can't believe it! I have made a lot of positive changes in my life -- self-esteem building changes -- I learned how to ice skate (taking a class by myself) this winter, which grew my confidence. I started volunteering at a local center as a tutor. I stopped smoking (he was a smoker -I was kind of an intermittent one) - I lost 25 lbs after I stopped cooking (and caring) for him! So, things are getting better. I smile a little more. I collect poetry like the one in this issue. I listen to my music. And let myself feel. Thank you for your website, it is a nice reminder? inspiration? motivation? pick-me-up? that things get better and we heal and maybe? someday? find our "perfect" love. Karen
Thanks so much for sharing this, Karen. I am so happy to hear all the things you have done, what you have accomplished, how you have so discovered the beauty of who you are and all the things you can truly do even when your heart is breaking!
How far you've come and all these things you've discovered to gain your confidence, finding out who you truly are and what you are truly capable of - this is no small thing. This is huge! The courage it takes to break through and claim what's yours, to face the unknown, to put yourself out there; the commitment it takes to stop smoking, to learn something new, to lose weight - you gave yourself such beautiful gifts in everything you did.
And you are finding out the beautiful way love works; that the more you love yourself, the more you give to yourself, the more you take care of yourself, the more you'll find yourself attracting the relationships and types of men into your life that will be right for you. That will honor you and everything you are! That kind of self-love is never selfish - it's the most beautiful gift you can give to someone - the kind you are more than deserving of. That's the kind of love that's waiting for you.
Love, Jane
The poem make me cry... 🙁 all the words are true...
It made me cry too, Rose, when I read it years ago and even now, as I read it again, the memories all came flooding back. These memories are what make us into the women we are, becoming all that we are in the process.
Thanks for sharing your thoughts on this beautiful poem. The words really are true. Even if it takes some of us a long time to figure it out.
Love, Jane