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What I Want You To Remember This Holiday Season

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Beautiful woman outdoors in frosty winter park with snowflakes.
If you only remember one thing, make it this.

There's a reason I’m here, doing what I do.

To remind you of what you can’t see from where you are now. To remind you of your power. To remind you of your beauty.

To remind you that the only reason you can’t see what I can see is because you haven’t come to the part yet where you prove yourself wrong.

Because without proof, you can’t believe it. Without proof, it’s the hardest thing to believe what you can’t yet see.

So my message to you today as we go about celebrating the holidays in whatever way you celebrate, is to stop believing what you’ve been believing about yourself every time another holiday season comes around.Continue Reading

It's the Opposite of What We Think

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Beautiful young woman with long hair lying on the grass
What if you could look at it another way?

We look around and we see so much of what our culture calls strength among our friends, our colleagues, our role models, almost everyone it seems. They let things roll off them, they don’t take everything so personally, they walk away without looking back.

They make everything  look so much easier than the way it feels to us.

The way it feels to us.

It’s this part of us that gets the least amount of validation from the world around us and the people who are the least like us. In a world where success is evaluated by the measurable things that have nothing to do with our hearts, it’s no wonder we can feel so wrong, so misplaced, so counter to what we feel so otherwise pressured to be.Continue Reading

Will It Be Worth It?

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Female hands holding a sand in form of the heart
Oh, it will be!

We don’t want to have to do anything. We just want it to work out.

We do everything we can to prove that we belong, that we’re in the right place, that he’s the right one for us. We play the part, we take on the role, we pour all our time and energy into making this our place.

Except that forcing something that isn’t meant to be forced - that doesn’t want to be forced - never works out in the end.

Because it can’t.

If we were already in the place that we’re going to come to, we’d recognize that we actually don’t want it to, either.Continue Reading

Before You Call, Text or Message Him...

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A beautiful woman looks at her phone, wondering if she should call him.
Make sure to do this BEFORE you do something you regret!

How do you say “you blew it!”?

How do you say “if only you had called me first!"

You don’t.

She already knows it.

I can assure her that he wasn’t the right one for her. I can try to convince her that someone who really was on the same page, wanted the same thing, was truly compatible with her, would have been able to overlook what she did or said.Continue Reading

Should I Throw In The Towel and Just Walk Away?

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Image of an attractive woman upset over her boyfriend.
After 4 months of dating he still won't call it a relationship.

One of our gorgeous readers, Geena, writes to tell us about her boyfriend of 4 months who's pulling away and still doesn't consider what they have to be a relationship!

Her letter:

Hi Jane,

I have been dating a guy for over 4 months. I felt immediately connected to and comfortable with him, which is unusual for me, as I'm shy. In the beginning he gave me a lot of attention via text and phone calls when he was away for work.

He is out of town for work all week and is only home on weekends. He has his kids every other weekend, so that has left us with only 2 weekends a month to see each other.

For the first few months we got together every weekend we could, but only for one night, not the entire weekend.

He's been very open with me about himself.

He has made himself vulnerable by telling me about insecurities he has and things that happened to him in past relationships and in his childhood. He's extremely affectionate and appreciative when we are together. He truly makes me feel like I am the only woman on earth when we are together.

About 6 weeks ago I asked him if he felt we had the healthy and mature relationship he had told me he wanted in the beginning and wanted he kids to see. (I haven't met his kids yet, and completely understand his feelings about not introducing them to a woman until he is in a relationship with her).Continue Reading

The Trail We Leave

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Don't let them define who you are.
Don't let them define who you are.

There's a trail of messages behind you.

Too emotional. Too sensitive. Too heavy. Too deep.

Too this. Too that.

Too much is what you hear.

Not enough is what you feel.

I know this, because this is what I felt, too. We all do, they're different for each one of us, but they're there.Continue Reading

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