Finding your YOU that leads to TWO
Have you ever felt tired of not being a priority in his life? If so, you're not alone. Gorgeous Monica writes to me this week about her boyfriend who prioritizes much of his life higher than her.
Hi Jane,
I have been with my guy for 8 years on and off hot and cold. His main priorities have always been
#1 his daughter
#2 his job
I was always number 3
I feel so rejected by accepting that also very controlled.Continue Reading
If it feels like you've been on this search for what seems like forever, you're not alone.
Everyone has their own version of what you're doing wrong, or what you need to be doing instead. Just ask anyone, and the number of different answers you get is enough to make anyone completely confused.
In all my years of coaching women of all ages, from all walks of life, in every corner of the world there's one common denominator that stands out.
What you believe.
The women who find love, who find what they're looking for in life, believe it's possible to find something good.
It may not seem like anything significant, because after all, how does something as intangible as what you believe translate into something as practical as meeting someone? For those of you who live and breathe the practical, the logical and the measurable, it seems almost laughable.
You've been waiting for someone your whole life, haven't you?
Whether it was your mom to love you, your dad to be proud of you, or your teachers to like you, your friends to include you, your boyfriends to never leave you, you've been waiting for someone to do something you wanted them to do your entire life.
To love you.
To want you.
To hold you.
To be with you.
To choose you.
To commit to you.
To never, ever leave you.
Except that never worked out the way it was supposed to.Continue Reading
I've noticed a theme in the conversations we've been having lately.
I hear you say you think you're being punished.
You've had such bad luck with men, you're convinced it's got to be some form of punishment.
I hear you say you think it's because of something you did or something you should have known better to do.
I hear you say there's just some reason that you're being put through whatever it is you're going through - as if someone or something called God or love or fate - or whatever you believe in - could do something like this to you.
Drop that story, Beautiful. It's old. It's not true. It's not loving. And it's so unkind to you.Continue Reading
Our letter today comes from Cyndi, who's wondering what to do when her boyfriend said he needs space to figure things out, and she can't stop thinking about him. Sound familiar?
Hi Jane,
My boyfriend asked for some space from the relationship to figure things out. Not contacting him is so so difficult and I’m terrified that he won’t come back. I know I need to take this time to focus on myself but it’s all I’m thinking about right now.
What do I do?
- Cyndi
Of course that's all you can think about right now, Cyndi. He's the one who asked for space, not you. You wanted things to keep progressing. You weren't expecting this. Continue Reading
He can’t tell you what he doesn’t know.
His words haunt us.
"I don’t know."
"I’m not sure why."
"I wish I could."
"I don’t mean to hurt you."
We’ve heard them all before.
The reality - the stark, harsh, cold reality - is that he can’t give you more of an answer to the questions you’re asking him because he really doesn’t know.
Yes, you and I would know.Continue Reading
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