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It's Time to Raise the Bar!

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We just keep lowering the bar on what we'll settle for, and in the process we teach him how little we will require from him if he'll only choose us. A beautiful woman is lifting a barbel on her shoulders.Don't ever doubt that you teach him how to treat you. That each of us teaches each and every man out there how to treat us and every other woman who comes after us. When you're wondering how he can ask for your number and then never call. When you're wondering how he can text you at the last minute on a Friday night and ask if the two of you can get together. When you're wondering how he can lead you on and then one day reveal that he was never interested in anything more than a casual relationship when you finally get up the nerve to ask.

There's only one reason: it's because we've put up with this.

He learned that from yet another beautiful woman who went before you that accepted less than she deserved. And the ones before her as well. We've all collectively taught men that they can get away with treating us like this.

You see, we've made everyone so proud of just how accommodating and understanding we are, that we never knew, in our hearts, that someone has to earn the right to be with us. To have us in their lives. We learned that good little girls simply agree and go along with what others want us to be if it means they will love us and give us the life we're looking for. That security, and feeling of being chosen, being lovable, that we so crave on every level of our awareness.

And so we lower the bar.

We just keep lowering the bar on what we'll settle for, and in the process we teach him how little we will require from him if he'll only choose us.

And so we jump when he calls us or texts us. We hold off on making plans until the last minute in the hope that he'll finally make plans with us first.

We wait.

We hold off on living our own lives, blazing our own path because he's so close and he's all that. And our own missed opportunities come and go. Our own dreams never see their fulfillment. He has no idea what we're capable of, of the woman we really are, because we're afraid to scare him off. After all, we tell ourselves, he might not want a strong woman or one who isn't afraid to speak her mind.

We forget that someone who is truly meant for us is looking for exactly who we are! He isn't intimidated by any part of us, and in fact, he has been waiting for someone just exactly like we are.

And the most important part is that when it's right, he feels the same way about us as we feel about him. That's what makes it work.

Not anything you think you have to do to make him love you.

Not anything you believe you have to settle for to get him to keep coming back for more.

Not anything you think you have to prove to have someone like him love you.

Because every time you behave like this, every time you show him that it's OK to treat you like this, you teach him that it is OK.

But it's not.

It never is. It's time to raise the bar. For you, and for every woman that comes after you who comes to understand this truth, too.

You, my beautiful friend deserve so much more than this!

 

How to Attract the Guy You Really Deserve and Avoid The Ones You Don't

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You've heard it said time and time again. You deserve so much more than this! You've even said it yourself more times than you care to remember.

But every time you say it, every time you decide that enough is enough and this time you are finally going to hold out for what you truly deserve, you continue to find yourself back right where you came from. As much as you don't want to.

But what does that really mean?

You think you get it.

You say you know you deserve someone who treats you well, is compatible with you, shares the same values, wants the same things in life, is attractive, communicates with you and has all the other signs of a healthy relationship. But why then, do you keep closing the door on the ones who have all this and do all this, while you keep the door open for the ones who don't?

While it may seem like it's just the common theme that we always want what we can't have, I believe there's another reason that this all-too-common scenario happens to us.Continue Reading

Stop Being So Hard on Yourself!

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Don't be so hard on yourself.
Be gentle with yourself.

There’s one thing we women do better than anything else - we beat ourselves up.

It doesn’t matter how far we’ve come or what we’ve learned along the way, no one else is harder on us than we are.

We know all too well exactly what we should have done, could have done, would have done differently, and we’re so good at letting ourselves know just exactly how far we’ve fallen short of the mark.

We blame ourselves.

It doesn’t seem to matter what he’s done; we have so much grace for him, all too much understanding for him, and every possible excuse ready for his behavior that deserves just as much if not more of a critique than we give ourselves.

But if it’s him and what he’s done or didn’t do, we’ll forgive him. And understand and even sympathize with him. Continue Reading

Are You Too Understanding?

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A woman stands in front of her boyfriend scratching her head, wondering if she's too understanding.
There's a reason he loves how understanding you are.

I was thinking about the last post Why Won’t He Commit? 7 Things You Can Do to Move Things Along, and I realized that there’s a common theme I’m seeing among those of us who hang around far too long, waiting for a guy to come around and commit to us.

You know, the one we’re convinced could be the love of our lives if he would just come to his senses and realize that he doesn’t want to lose the best thing that’s ever happened to him.

Tell me if this doesn’t sound familiar. You’re so understanding. You understand.

I understand. It’s understandable. Do you hear that? Understanding. We’re all just so understanding!Continue Reading

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About Jane Garapick

Hi, I'm Jane Garapick. I'm here to provide inspiration, support and empowerment on the journey to true love. I know what it’s like to have a broken heart, a broken dream, and a broken you. And I know for a fact, that your dreams can still come true! Read more...
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