Getting to TRUE Love

Finding your YOU that leads to TWO

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Remember when you first learned to ride a bike? It's the same thing.

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woman riding a bike
It's time to spread your wings again.

Out of all the tips and tricks you read about everywhere you look these days, there's just one thing that makes anything "work" for you.

It's you!

Remember the phrase, if you could see yourself the way someone who loves you sees you, you would never EVER allow yourself to be treated this way? That's it!

Find someone in your life who sees you like this and hold that vision they have for you.

They don't see you being used, they don't see you being treated the way you allow yourself to be treated. They see you being loved!

It's like learning to ride a bike with training wheels, then someone holds the bike for you when you're ready to take them off. They become the training wheels, steadying you until you're riding by yourself. And before you know it, you're flying high because they let go!Continue Reading

Something You Need Right Now

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A beautiful woman sits on a beach looking sad because her ex has moved on.
I want to change this for you today.

I love meeting you and hearing your stories.

Most of the women I work with are some of the most beautiful, successful, extraordinary women I've ever met who are all carrying around with them a secret they don't want anyone to know.

Their secret?

They don't feel that strong.

More often than not, they're crying behind their smiles.

Life hasn't been what it was supposed to be for them.

Sure, they're got a lot to show for their time here so far. And yes, they've had all kinds of experiences and accomplished all kinds of things along the way.Continue Reading

I Was Only 9 Years Old

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A young girl sits on a bench by a lake, feeling invisible and alone.
When I learned how quickly it could all be taken away.

I've been judged my entire life. Some of you know this about me, most of you don't.

My worth was equated with being perfect.

When you have a dad who's a minister, you have to be. Picking up early on what it meant to be loved in my family, I learned to conform and earned the label of the perfect one, while my older sister rebelled against that conformity and was forced to leave our house when she was 14 years old.

I was 9 years old and the day I learned my parents had chosen my dad's church and upholding their image over their own daughter, I also learned that my perfect label wasn't just a label; it was a matter of life as I knew it or the very opposite.

It was confirmed for me that my worst fear as a child could happen; I could lose their love.

From that moment, I chose security and hid my true self until I left the country for college after I graduated high school.Continue Reading

The Reason You Still Can't Believe It's Not You

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A beautiful woman looks down, sad, wondering if her boyfriend is getting distant.
Why do we do this?

I've been having some deep discussions on my calls lately, around the underlying subject of our longings for unconditional love.

Leftover from our childhoods, from a place most of us have never connected to the present, until we realize something must be amiss for us to keep attracting and choosing the men that we do. The irony is that while we long for unconditional love with every part of our heart and soul, we look for it precisely from the ones completely incapable of giving us that kind of love.

Why do we do this?

It makes no sense to our logical minds, but the pull is so strong (and entirely subconscious) to extract this kind of love from someone who cannot give it to us because he never received enough of any kind of love to have a place of overflow within himself that it could even come from.

Why the pull? It's because it's so familiar.

It's once again someone with so much potential because they give us glimpses of that soft part within them. We take that and run with it because even just the feeling of the possiblity of that potential lights us up to the possibility of what might be. This time might be different. This time. The promise of which is so familiar. Continue Reading

Why Do I Have to Do All This Work? Why Not Her?

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A beautiful woman looks in a mirror wanting it to be the way it was.
It begins right here, looking in the mirror.

I’ve been thinking about you.

Thinking about how to put into words the core meaning of my message to you.

Yes, it’s about finding out who you are and shedding old programming, etc. But the question you explicity ask is the one that needs more of an answer to get to the real root of what I’m talking about.

Why? Why do I HAVE to do this work? Why does SHE get to find love, get married, find someone to love her for who she is? Why does SHE get him without doing all the work? Why do I HAVE to go on this journey to figure out who I am FIRST?

Why me? Why not HER?

We're angry. So angry. Most of which we’re not even aware of.

But we can’t be angry. We may get sad, but we don’t do angry. Maybe frustrated – as we’ve learned to downplay it because it won’t fit the good little girl image we have to uphold at all costs - but not angry. Because that’s scary.Continue Reading

9 Years, 1 Dog, 1 House... No Ring

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A woman holds her dogs head close, showing affection.
Could this really be the end?

Our beautiful friend, who has signed herself "Confusing Journey", has been on quite the journey indeed. She's wondering if he'll ever propose, or if this should really be the end. Read on for her story...

Here's her letter:

I have been with my boyfriend for 9 years. We met when we were 17 and 19.

We have had a great relationship, with some hiccups a long the way, him leaving, back together, me leaving... back together. The longest we ever separated for is 3 weeks though.

All of those issues occurred early in our relationship when we both were so young and we always worked through the issues. He is fun, but serious at the same time, a business major. His family says he has always been a 40 year old in a boy’s body. Lol.

He is confident and determined and is stable. I am outgoing and funny and care free. Kind of opposites, but I have seen his outgoing side and he has always been my rock.

Welllll, we were still not living together, but at our 7 year mark he decided that someone else had caught his attention and that he wanted to pursue this person.

He broke up with me and I was devastated to say the least, but in his defense he was completely up front and honest about it the whole time and 2 weeks went by of him in this limbo of does he want me, or does he want her.

Finally, I chose for him. I left for good.Continue Reading

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