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Which Little Girl Were You?

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A beautiful young woman is standing near the beach in a dress.
What if you were that other girl?

I talk a lot about programming on here and there's a reason why.

The way we've been brought up and conditioned to believe the things we accept as truth about ourselves, about men, about relationships, about what's normal in general, are all because of the way we've specifically been programmed.

It isn't your fault that you're only attracting a certain kind of man.

It isn't because there's something wrong with you that you can't seem to get over what's been fed to you as truth.

Come back with me to when you were just a young girl learning about the world.

Now imagine being that impressionable little girl entering puberty, trying to figure out for yourself what it means to be a woman in a world of men.

And then imagine being told by your mother that God made women to have curves and breasts solely for the pleasure of men. Imagine the way you view the world, men, and your role as a woman, through that lens!Continue Reading

The One Thing You Were Never Meant to Do

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A brunette woman feeling lonely in her relationship sits looking at the ocean.
Let's try something different this time.

You were never supposed to fit in.

Not the way you thought.

You with your one of a kind way of seeing the world.

You with your own unique essence of being in the world. No, you were never supposed to fit in.

You know why you feel like there must be something wrong with you?

Because everyone's been trying to get you to conform and fit in the way they wanted you to your entire life.

Now imagine you trying to go against the grain and resist that when that's all you've ever had reinforced for you.

Not easy, is it? Continue Reading

I Was Beautiful for 3 Months

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Beautiful woman looking into a mirror.
I've said those exact same words myself.

It was just a comment that came into my inbox, but it was these words that caught my attention enough to know there was something more that needed to be said.

Why?

Because I've said those exact same words myself and I know so many of you have, too.

How many of us have felt these same words? When we're loved, we're beautiful. When we're no longer loved, we're no longer beautiful.

Isn't that what we feel?

There's no shortage of messages we receive that tell us we're beautiful when we're loved. There's no shortage of confirmation of those words from even our well-meaning friends and family who comment on how radiant we look when we're basking in someone's love.

We get the message.Continue Reading

The Problem with "Broken"

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Woman looking into a broken mirror representing her low self-esteem.
It does more damage than all our other programming combined.

There's a single word for what we've been told about ourselves that does more damage than all our other programming combined.

Amongst all the stories we've been told about who we are, where we've come from, and why we can never trust ourselves more than we can trust someone else who always knows better than we do, it's the story that tells us we're broken, that we've always been broken and we need someone or something outside of us to save us from ourselves.

Sound familiar?

The problem is that when we've accepted this as our own story for so long, we stop questioning it. And even worse, we forget we even have the right to. And we don't even see that there is a problem.

See, when you've been told you're broken, when you've been told you have to go to some being outside yourself to ask for forgiveness for the simple act of being human, you're going to have a hard time believing you're not.Continue Reading

Remember When They Used to Ask You This?

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A woman holding a dandelion in her hand blowing it away making a wish, signifying letting go.
It’s time for a new question.

When you were a little girl, they used to ask you, “What do you want to be when you grow up?”

You had so many answers back then.

But no one asks you anymore.

When they stopped asking, you stopped asking. You stopped dreaming. You stopped planning. You stopped hoping. You started looking back instead of forward. You started believing another voice.

Not the one of hope, but the one of the opposite of hope.

Hopelessness.

They convinced you you’d lived your best life already.

That you’re too late.Continue Reading

Sure, it may be simple. But don't ever call it easy!

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A beautiful woman sits on a park bench wondering why she loves him.
And don't make it more difficult than it already is.

I've been talking a lot recently about the difference between something being easy and something being simple.

Like relationships.

And love.

And choosing something different than you're used to choosing.

Some of you get so down on yourselves because you get this in theory, but then you can't seem to apply it to your practical reality. You may have friends or family who make you feel like there's something wrong with you because it's not happening the way they make it seem like it should be, but the truth is, there's a world of difference between easy and simple.Continue Reading

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