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Should I Wait or Move On?

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Rear view of a woman holding the curtains open to look out of a large light window at home.
Do you think he might come back for me?

It's only been a couple months, but Wynn is head over heels for her boyfriend who's just dropped some disappointing news on her. Now she's wondering if she should wait for him or move on.

Here's what she told me:

Hi Jane,

I have been dating my Marine boyfriend for a couple months now and I am totally head over heels for him.

I think he feels the same about me, but he had to move across country for school and he says that we can't be together because of the distance and because he will be too busy.

He cried so hard when he left that I don't think it's just an excuse.

Do you think he might come back for me when school is over or do you think I should just move on?Continue Reading

A World of Regrets

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sad woman walking on the city street at sunset
Refuse to take on what was never yours to carry.

All those things you think you should have done differently, everything you think would have made all the difference in the world, the truth is it wouldn't have changed a thing.

Because if someone has such impossible expectations of you to expect that you are only worthy if you are perfect, then believe me, you don't want any part of them!

You've tried perfect.

You've tried being everything to all people and especially his kind of people.

Where has it gotten you? Has it brought you any closer to the kind of love you yearn for?

Or has it only brought you more pain, more hurt, more trying to measure up to someone else's standards who, for all their potential in the world, likely has no clue about love?Continue Reading

It's a Red Flag Every. Single. Time.

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Woman and man sitting on a curb breaking up, man with his head in his hands
Because you need to know.

When he says "Let's see where it goes", the reality is it's a red flag every single time. Even though YOU think it’s reasonable because, well, "I don't even know!"

Here's the truth.

It’s not reasonable. It’s not.

It’s not an opening to what could be the most amazing relationship of your life – the one with Mr. Right.

And yes, that’s even if you don’t even know if this is the guy you want or the relationship you want until YOU “see where it goes.”

Here’s why.

You know why you’re here. You know what you’re looking for.

You're looking for a relationship – a real one – even if you’re not either going to be committing to someone who isn’t ultimately compatible with you.Continue Reading

Am I being a doormat?

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A beautiful woman sits on a couch away from her boyfriend, wondering if she can live with this.
Is he prioritizing his friends over you?

Today's letter comes from Sam, who's got two questions she needs help answering.

Here's what she had to say:

Hi Jane,

I just read the article about the 4 ways to get him to adore you....  just a question regarding his independence - how much is too much?

As you stated in another article, if he always spends his tired Friday nights with me, but every Saturday night with his friends, isn't that being a doormat?

So, how would I handle someone who can't give up his friends?  If he can't do this, is it worth staying?

Thank you!

- SamContinue Reading

The Reason He Says "I Don't Know"

33 Comments

Woman and man sitting on a curb breaking up, man with his head in his hands
Is it just an excuse?

He can’t tell you what he doesn’t know.

His words haunt us.

"I don’t know."

"I’m not sure why."

"I wish I could."

"I don’t mean to hurt you."

We’ve heard them all before.

The reality - the stark, harsh, cold reality - is that he can’t give you more of an answer to the questions you’re asking him because he really doesn’t know.

Yes, you and I would know.Continue Reading

He Was Super Into Me, Now He Says He Doesn't Want a Relationship

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A beautiful woman is looking at her ex boyfriend with his new girlfriend, wondering why he wouldn't commit to her.
And now I think he's with another woman!

Have you ever had a guy tell you how amazing you are, only to leave you brokenhearted? You're not alone. Beautiful Shaye shares her experience with a certain type of guy I think most of us have run into at least once.

Here's her story:

Hi Jane,

I’m 21, and consider myself very different. I graduated in 2.5 years with a chemistry degree, I’m headed to med school, I don’t drink.

Well I met a guy at the end of March on Bumble, who acted completely in awe of me every. single. day. He told me he had been in a bad wreck and it completely changed his mentality, and was glad I didn’t know who he was before the accident.

I was hoping he was different than other college guys.

I was a bit uncomfortable with his new frat, and sometimes the drinking. He said I completed him and I was all he ever wanted. Seems pretty soon to say that, but okay.Continue Reading

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