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Ghosted! How do I let go with no closure?

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Lonely sad beautiful woman feeling hurt and heartbroken holding phone because boyfriend has gone radio silent
I have no idea why he won't respond.

Ever been ghosted and had to let go without any closure? That's what Trisha's going through. If that's an all-too familiar theme for you, read on to hear her story and my response. You can also check out this video I just posted about how to get closure and move on.

Her email:

Hi Jane,

I'm having a horrible time dealing with a recent situation with an ex.

We dated for 8 months. During this time things felt ok and progressive, yet I could tell he had a wall up and I could not understand why.Continue Reading

Are you doing this too?

15 Comments

Beautiful lonely girl dreamin and thinking while waiting for date in the city ocean pier at sunset time.
Are you spending all your time and energy doing this?

Don't spend any more of your time or energy on why it didn't work out, why he ghosted you or whatever else you can't let go of.

We spend wayyyyy too much time ruminating over everything we should have done differently to keep a guy.

The only retrospect you want is that he wasn't your guy.

There's lots of different guys, just this one wasn't yours!

Your goal is to meet as many men as possible and move on from the ones who ghost you or don't pursue you.Continue Reading

I Feel Like I'm Incapable of a Successful Relationship

5 Comments

Outdoor portrait of a sad woman feeling rejected.
I feel so down, so lonely and used.

The subject line of her email said it all. "I am incapable of a successful relationship."

I'm answering Tina's email on the blog today because I hear from so many of you who've come to the same conclusion and you've all but given up any hope of changing this. You're in the right place because I find hope out of hopelessness despite what you can't yet see, so stay with me here. If you've ever felt like this, I've got so much hope for you today!

Her Story:

Hi Jane,Continue Reading

How do I stop loving him and move on?

21 Comments

Rear view pensive thoughtful woman sitting on sofa alone, lost in thoughts, upset female having psychological problem, heartbreak, thinking about being alone
I want to forget about him and move on with my life.

Our letter this week comes from beautiful Michelle who's heartbroken over a man who's seeing someone else. She knows he doesn't deserve her, but she's having a hard time letting him go. Sound familiar?

Her Story:

Hi Jane,

I'm hoping you can help me. I've been in a 5 year relationship with a man I'm in love with who so clearly doesn't love me.

We were seeing each other regularly until about a month ago when I found out he's been seeing someone else. I'm heartbroken. We haven't talked since then.Continue Reading

Duped by an avoidant guy. Is it fear that drove him away?

8 Comments

Sad woman hugging her emotionally unavailable boyfriend and looking down.
Was fear the driver of all of this?

Ever wondered why you keep attracting men with an avoidant-attachment style? Anne shared her story about someone just like this. Read on to hear what happened and my thoughts on why.

Her Story:

Hi Jane ...I just bought your book after another failed almost-relationship. It was so helpful, thank you. I wanted to explain my story; sorry that it’s long.

I work in a helping profession and am patient and all about feelings; I'm like so many of the women in this community.Continue Reading

10 Years Wasted on a Selfish Guy

24 Comments

Profile of a beautiful woman wondering if her guy will ever want a committed relationship.
He has hurt me so deeply. It's changed my view of men.

You know how you stay 'just a little longer' to see if he's going to change? And then you're afraid not to stay in case you miss that change?

That's the familiar scenario I'm talking about here. This is what happens when we wait it out, not realizing the time that passes in the meantime and the days that turn to months and then years.

This is why she wrote to me with the title, subject 'It's been 10 years'. If you've been here you know how it happens and how 'I'll just see how it goes' turns into 10 long years.Continue Reading

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