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He says he just wants to be friends

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A man and a woman are having a serious discussion over dinner because she wants to know how he feels about her.
I just don’t know what to do.

It's never good when the guy we're into says he just wants to be friends.

Those are the words Lee didn't want to hear either. See if this sounds all too familiar to you and then tell me your own story of "the guy who says he just wants to be friends" in the comments. You're not alone!

Here's her story:

Hi Jane,

I started seeing this guy back in the summer and everything seemed to be going great. Lots of fun and enjoyment.

In August, he asked me to be exclusive and I agreed. So as time went by I noticed he was being a bit different and I was wondering why. When I asked him about us and our future he basically told me we are nothing serious but casual so I was left a bit confused by this.

Anyway, we both met on a dating app and I recently went to check was he back on it and I noticed he was.Continue Reading

What Your Anxiety Should Be Telling You

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A beautiful woman is holding her head in her hands wondering if her boyfriend who has commitment issues is just playing games or if he wants a committed relationship.
Stop blaming yourself.

In reading your emails, there's something that always stands out for me. It's when you talk about being anxious, feeling uneasy, being sensitive and picking up on things that you don't know what to do with.

See, when you say things like that, I see something else.

I see that you know exactly what to do, even if you don't believe you do and that's why you're writing to me.

I see you knowing this guy far better than you think you do.

I see you blaming yourself for what happened in the past because it's so easy to fall into the pattern of self-blame when we've come to look at our intuitive senses as being something that's "wrong with us" instead of a gift that lets us know what's really going on when we're so wrapped in the fantasy of what someone could be if only he wanted to be that.

There's always a reason the things you see are red flags.

How could you not take them to heart? How could you have interpreted them in any other way than you did? He's rarely a bad guy, just clearly someone who's not on the same page as you.Continue Reading

He held me against my will with a shotgun

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Rear view of a woman holding the curtains open to look out of a large light window at home.
Why can't I move on?

I know. I had to read that again, too.

Beautiful Jerimie wrote to me about the guy she's having trouble letting go of and moving on from when she still believes he's the love of her life.

Read on for her story!

Good morning Jane,

This may be a bit long, even maybe a chapter book or short story 🙂 I'll try to keep it to the minimum...

I met Brett November 14, 2014. He has the most brilliant sky blue eyes you'd ever seen. However, what made me fall in love (first time ever) was his stupid half smile with his sideways glance. Omg! That did it for me.

We were just going to hook up for one night.

I had recently been fired from my job (also first time ever) and I just needed a little stress relieving sex. He stayed the night and I went to my "new" job after I left him a cup of coffee on the nightstand and told him to take his time and we'd text later.

I got home after work and to my surprise he pulled up behind me in my driveway. Jumped out and came and opened my door and leaned in for a welcome home kiss. I was shocked! I frantically started thinking..."Ok Jer, relax don't get your hopes up. Be cool! Just be cool!"Continue Reading

It's so hard to move on

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A beautiful woman covers her face with her hands because she is feeling afraid and lonely.
How can he make me feel like a crumbling mess?

Susan wrote to me the most heart wrenching letter about how hard it is to let go and move on. I knew what's she going through would resonate with so many of you. Been here?

Here's her story:

Omgosh Jane. How do you do it?

How did you know exactly what I'm suffering right now? Silently painfully and occasionally voicing to few who harshly shut me down with comments that make me feel even worse about myself than I already do.

I should know better, you have been through this before why are you allowing or being so foolish. You should never cry over a man - what's wrong with you. We always thought you had more sense and you're so weak and making a fool of yourself, he doesn't want you don't you see.

Of course I see and don't they know I yell at myself over and over until I can't stand to be in my own body and I have deserted and loathe my own self for allowing myself to go through this.

We don't talk anymore and he cut me off.Continue Reading

If you're ready to give up, read this first

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A beautiful woman is frazzled because she can't seem to get over a breakup.
Let go. Let it all go.

If you're ready to give up, I'll give up with you.

I'll stand beside you, I'll be right there with you. You won't be alone. We'll do this together.

You don't have to try so hard anymore. You don't have to keep the struggle alive.

The fact that it's so much of a struggle at all is telling you something.

Let go. Let it all go.

Turn it over to God or the Universe or some higher power that's always partnering WITH you for what's best FOR you.

Stop trying so hard. Start over.

A roof over your head. Food & water. Heat and cooling. It's Maslow's Hierarchy of Needs. You start with the basics. Physical/physiological needs.

Safety. Security. Within yourself. From you, not anyone else. You can't have the rest without making sure you have those.

Now you're ready to make a plan to get all your other needs met. You're here, now. Stay with me.Continue Reading

Are you doing this too?

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Beautiful lonely girl dreamin and thinking while waiting for date in the city ocean pier at sunset time.
Are you spending all your time and energy doing this?

Don't spend any more of your time or energy on why it didn't work out, why he ghosted you or whatever else you can't let go of.

We spend wayyyyy too much time ruminating over everything we should have done differently to keep a guy.

The only retrospect you want is that he wasn't your guy.

There's lots of different guys, just this one wasn't yours!

Your goal is to meet as many men as possible and move on from the ones who ghost you or don't pursue you.Continue Reading

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