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Is It Right to Go With Him When He's Breaking My Heart?

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A beautiful woman is sipping coffee while talking with a man over lunch, wondering why she's not getting what she wants in a relationship.
Should I take this trip with him even though he broke up with me?

Our letter this week comes all the way from Greece, from beautiful Gc, who's looking for some advice on whether she should go on a trip that was planned in advance with a guy who's breaking her heart with the knowledge that he just wants to be friends.

Here's her story:

Hi Jane,

So first of all let me introduce myself. I'm 29 years old and I come from a small island of Greece.

Before a year, I was at a friend's wedding here at our beautiful  island. My friend that was getting married was from the USA and had the wedding here because of his mother that she is born here too. So I met this guy that was the best men at the wedding also from the States and he approached me the night of the wedding party.Continue Reading

No, You Shouldn't Be Able to "Just Walk Away"

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A beautiful woman is feeling sad and broken hearted about her relationship.
Because it's not your fault.

No, you're not supposed to know all this without someone teaching it to you.

No, you shouldn't be able to just walk away.

And while we're here, no, there isn't anything wrong with you if you're "still" single.

Even today there's still such a stigma with being single for those of us in our culture who aren't single by choice, who long to be with someone, and never expected our lives to turn out the way they have.

You feel it.

It wears on you.

You hide more than you respond.

Continue Reading

When He Goes Radio Silent ... What Do I Do?

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Lonely sad beautiful woman feeling hurt and heartbroken holding phone because boyfriend has gone radio silent
He's giving me the silent treatment and it's so painful.

Ever encountered radio silence before? The silent treatment kind. The worst kind, right?

Well, our letter this week comes from Cecilia who's in the midst of a radio silent phase with her boyfriend of five years.Here's what she had to say and my response. Unfortunately, I'm sure many of you can relate.

Dear Jane,

I need some advice.

My boyfriend of 5 years is giving me the silent treatment and it’s so painful. Given how long we have been together, I cannot believe he would just go radio silent after an argument we had a few days ago.

He won’t tell me if he needs more time or if this is just over. I go between feeling heartbroken and just so angry.Continue Reading

Why Do I Have to Do All This Work? Why Not Her?

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A beautiful woman looks in a mirror wanting it to be the way it was.
It begins right here, looking in the mirror.

I’ve been thinking about you.

Thinking about how to put into words the core meaning of my message to you.

Yes, it’s about finding out who you are and shedding old programming, etc. But the question you explicity ask is the one that needs more of an answer to get to the real root of what I’m talking about.

Why? Why do I HAVE to do this work? Why does SHE get to find love, get married, find someone to love her for who she is? Why does SHE get him without doing all the work? Why do I HAVE to go on this journey to figure out who I am FIRST?

Why me? Why not HER?

We're angry. So angry. Most of which we’re not even aware of.

But we can’t be angry. We may get sad, but we don’t do angry. Maybe frustrated – as we’ve learned to downplay it because it won’t fit the good little girl image we have to uphold at all costs - but not angry. Because that’s scary.Continue Reading

I Never Left With My Head Held High

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sad woman walking on the city street at sunset
All I could feel was regret. Why couldn't I just have stayed silent again?

I never left with my head held high.

I never left after careful, well-thought-out consideration, knowing I had done the right thing.

No, that was never me.

I never wanted to leave. No matter what happened, I would do my part to keep the relationship going because love would conquer all.

I would have stayed until the end.Continue Reading

I'm Heartbroken Over Someone Who's Still Pining for His Ex

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A beautiful woman sits on a park bench wondering why she loves him.
Did I do the right thing letting him go?

Our letter today comes from one of our beautiful readers, Victoria. She's asking for some advice on the heartbreak she's experiencing over someone who's clearly still looking in the rear-view mirror for his ex. Her sister's about to be at her wits' end listening to her (haven't we all had family members like that!), so she's hoping to get some fresh advice on here.

This is her story ...

Hi Jane,

Thank you for your comments about unavailable men and us thinking they are with us when in fact they are somewhere else. I just wanted some unbiased advice as I think my sister will be fed up of me shortly and I'm on an emotional roller coaster often ending up in tears.

I have been divorced for a long time, found it difficult to get over my husband leaving so threw myself into guarding my heart to make sure it wasn't broken again and raising my child.

I was introduced by friends 8 months ago to a lovely man who I thought was perfect for me.Continue Reading

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