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You are here: Home / Archives for happiness

No wonder you've lost all hope

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A beautiful woman with her face in her hands because her self esteem is so low.
I had absorbed every ounce of that energy.

No one could convince me otherwise.

I had too much evidence to the contrary. All my past relationships, all the men I'd ever dated. They only showed me one thing - the same thing - nothing was ever changing, they all ended up the same, and the only thing I could count on with any certainty was that I was going to keep repeating the same patterns every time, no matter how I chose or where I moved to or what circumstances were different for me.

I was the problem.

I was the common-denominator. This could only be something about me. Everything I tried produced the same results, just a different guy with a different face and name, but the pattern, the intense chemistry and the promise of everything in the beginning followed by the gradual distancing and then the total demise of whatever was left of the relationship.

This was always the way it happened for me and NOTHING on the horizon seemed like it could move the needle one bit.

It didn't matter how I looked or what my actual age was or what I had going for me. I felt no different than if I was a 90 year old woman on her deathbed.

I had absorbed every ounce of that energy.Continue Reading

Who benefits?

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A woman is standing near a railing looking over the water, thinking about letting go of her relationship.
It only keeps you trying too hard.

Who benefits from you believing you have to be perfect to be loved? Who gets rewarded when you hold the belief that you have to be something different than who you already are to "get" a guy, especially one of the good ones?

Who?

Is it you?

No, of course not.

These beliefs only keep you striving, trying too hard, discontented, lost, constantly searching for how to be better, different, and more perfect than who you already are.

We spend all our time, energy and money trying to gain that illusion of perfection that we don't even realize is only an illusion because we believe if we finally get it right, everything else will suddenly fall into place.

All those messages we've been told from the time we were old enough to read or watch TV or be marketed to in so many different ways, they've all told us the same thing.Continue Reading

What if You CAN'T Let Go?

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A beautiful woman is sad because she's spending the holidays alone.
Sometimes the quick fix just doesn't work.

What if you don't let go?

What if you don't get over it?

What if you don't get over him?

You say you have to, that THEY say you have to, that it's in your best interest.

But what about you?

You know why so many women and men find me after they've been through all the advice and heard all the shoulds of what they're supposed to do, only to find it's not working for them?

Because the quick fix, get over him, block him, let go, move on type of advice only works if you're actually there yourself.

Otherwise, you're left with one big gaping hole in your heart, because all you’ve done is follow the instruction of someone who was never you, who's never known what it's like to be your own heart and soul.Continue Reading

A Few Things We All Need to Do

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Beautiful, happy, smiling woman lying on the field in green grass.
Smile. You'll change the world.

You say you're done with all the rest.

You say you're ready to find the love you've been searching for, like, forever.

But do you really mean it?

It's time to start living like you mean what you say!

No more excuses, no more putting your love life on hold while the days slip away.

Yes, it's going to require some work on your part. But this is one where you set the pace. How quickly you want this to happen for you is completely up to you!

It's time to start paying attention – really listening - to that self-talk you do every day. Start noticing everything you do and say that isn't the truth about you. Everything that's someone else's version of you, someone else's story that's been put on you.Continue Reading

8 Simple Ways To Be Happy NOW (Before You Have a Committed Relationship)

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A beautiful woman stretches in the morning thinking about ways to be happy.
“I believe that happy girls are the prettiest girls.” – Audrey Hepburn

We all want to be happy, right?

And we know that if we’re happy now, before we’re in a relationship, then we’re much, much more likely to be happy later, when we’re in a committed relationship.

And here’s the funny thing – we’re also much, much more likely to GET into a relationship when we’re happy. And we’re much more likely to get into a relationship with someone else who’s happy when we’re already happy.

And that leads to what’s known as a happy relationship, which is something we all want.

Am I right?

So then the question is, how do we get happy when we just don’t feel happy right now?Continue Reading

It's Time To Celebrate YOU!

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Loving yourself and recognizing all of the wonderful, valuable, and lovable qualities that make you the beautiful person that you are is the first step to having the kind of love in your life that you've been longing for. A beautiful woman is celebrating herself by giving herself a bouquet of flowers.You're pretty great, no matter what you think about yourself. How do I know? Because everyone is pretty great. We all have our own unique qualities that make us special, interesting, valuable and lovable. It's time to start celebrating those unique qualities that make you you. It's in the noticing and celebrating of our own special qualities that we let the light of ourselves shine out for the rest of the world to see. If we don't see it ourselves, how can we expect anyone else to?

So it's time to celebrate this beautiful woman that we all know as YOU! The weekend is here and there's no time like the present, so let's make this weekend into an impromptu celebration of everything that you bring to the table. Let's get started…

Love yourself

Write down three things that you love about yourself – they can be three things that you do really well (think knitting, organizing closets, putting together beautiful flower arrangements) or personality traits (kindness, generosity, patience). Don't sell yourself short – we all have things that we're good at, the problem is that remembering these things isn't one of them. Sometimes the things that we're good at come so naturally to us that we don't even realize what a gift they are. So if you're having trouble thinking of three – don't despair. Just start with one for now, and pay attention to yourself over the course of the day and think of two more. You'll be amazed at how many things you notice that you're great at!

Pamper yourself

Focus on making yourself happy this weekend. A few ideas:

Immerse yourself. Sure, it might be a cliché, but it's a good one - Draw yourself a nice hot bubble bath complete with some relaxing, rejuvenating aromatic bath salts, candles, soft music (or simply quiet if you prefer), and enjoy a long, hot soak. We are all intimately connected to water, and the feeling of water against our skin is simply renewing. Think of how it feels on your beautiful skin (yes, you have beautiful skin!)

Grab a cup of coffee, a friend, your dog, or just your own inner thoughts, and take an early morning stroll around the park and simply breathe in all of the nature.

Curl up on the couch with your most comforting comforter and read that book you haven't gotten to, watch a movie or catch up on your favorite shows.

The point is to do something you enjoy for yourself, and not because someone else wants you to. This is your time.

Go buy yourself something pretty

It doesn't need to be expensive, it just needs to be something that makes you feel special, feel good. Some pretty new cotton panties, a new pair of simple earrings or some new lipstick or eyeliner are all easy ways to bring beauty into your life.

An inexpensive bouquet of local flowers each week from the grocery store in a vase by your bedside table can brighten up your mood on a daily basis and doesn't cost much.

Put your best self forward

Wear your favorite knock-their-socks-off outfit just to go for a walk or to the grocery store. You can't help but strut your stuff with that air of confidence when you're wearing your hottest outfit, complete with all the accessories. Stop saving it for that special occasion and get some use out of it now!

Another way to feel your best is to wear your favorite lingerie under your everyday clothes even when you're doing mundane everyday things like running your errands. You'll be amazed at how much more confident you feel!

Make a dream list

Make a list of all of the things you've always dreamed of doing, both grand and simple. Wanted to walk on the Great Wall of China? Put it on the list. Wanted to go take a sailing lesson? Put it on there. Wanted to check out the famous theater downtown? Write it down. Then organize your list from most outlandish down to the simplest.

Now go down the list starting at the top, pick the first one that you can reasonably do now, and then go do it this weekend. You'll feel great when you scratch it off the list, and then you can plan another one for next weekend!

Connect with a friend

Call up one of your gal pals and let her know that you're ready for a celebration – just because! You can go out and celebrate each other – make a deal that you will prepare to tell her all of the wonderful things that you love about her in exchange for her telling you all of the things that she loves about you. You'll both feel great afterwards!

Loving yourself and recognizing all of the wonderful, valuable, and lovable qualities that make you the beautiful person that you are is the first step to having the kind of love in your life that you've been longing for. And the best part is, it's completely under your control!

So don't wait another second to start your weekend celebration of the beautiful, radiant, confident woman known as YOU!

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About Jane Garapick

Hi, I'm Jane Garapick. I'm here to provide inspiration, support and empowerment on the journey to true love. I know what it’s like to have a broken heart, a broken dream, and a broken you. And I know for a fact, that your dreams can still come true! Read more...
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