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I Feel Like I'm Dying a Little Bit More Each Day

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Couple not talking after a fight on the sofa in living room at home
Please help my lonely relationship, I'm desperate to save us!

The letter this week comes from beautiful Kimberly, who says she's desperate to save her lonely relationship.

Here's her story:

We've been together for 5 1/2 years and he was who I had my first  time with, it's one of the few things Im still proud of.

I just turned 25 and he just turned 30.

The changes are heartbreaking: He NEVER used to constantly interrupt me how he does now. And now he's on his phone 98% of every day and through every conversation.

Somewhere along the way he totally switched from jaw-droppingly respectful to now, if I ask one simple question, he'll reply to me in the most condescending/sarcastic tone, the way you would to a dull-minded idiot by repeating step-by-step the whole situation I had a simple yes/no question to.

Ironically, I'm the one who spends every day repeating everything I say to him 4 times  because of the phone.

One night I finally snapped and told him I was about to smash it with a hammer no matter the consequences. He also crushes my spirit by micromanaging everything I do, although I know he means well and sincerely has the best intentions.Continue Reading

Did I Get Played?

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Woman upset after her boyfriend pulled away and disappeared, wondering if he'll ever come back.
Am I being an idiot for thinking this could actually be something?

This week I'm featuring a letter - along with my response - from gorgeous Maddie, who's wondering if the man she's been seeing is actually interested in a committed relationship or if he's just playing with her heart.

Here's her story:

Hi Jane,

I have a question for you.

Some background information: I have known this guy for 6 years (we briefly dated 6 years ago and have remained in contact on and off in this time, both as friends and sometimes a bit flirty).

Over the last 5-ish months we have gotten quite close again.

He had a girlfriend so we never spoke or did anything sexual. He spoke to me about some of their issues and I gave advice as best I could.

They broke up around 6 weeks ago and since then he and I have spent time together and gotten a lot closer.Continue Reading

The ONE Question You Need to Ask Yourself NOW If You’re Serious About Finding Real Love

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A father plays with his young daughter.
We’re the ones who only ever wanted to be loved by him.

If you don’t get to the root, nothing changes. If you don’t find your “why”, you can’t know where to look.

And if you don’t like where you are today, change it.

How? Find your why.

Why do you keep falling for the same type of man? Why is this man so attractive to you? Why him, and not someone else?

And more specifically, why do you believe so strongly that you NEED him? What is it about him that has you putting up with things you said you’d never EVER put up with before there was him?

Most of the women I work with discover right away that almost every single one of these questions has a common denominator – and it’s not her we’re talking about here. It’s a specific man.

Namely, the man known as her dad.Continue Reading

The One Thing That Changes Everything When You're With An Emotionally Unavailable Man

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Sad woman hugging her emotionally unavailable boyfriend and looking down.
It’s about understanding what makes one man capable of making a commitment and another completely incapable.

There are some women who come to me with a question that’s easy to answer.

When they ask if he’s worth the effort, if they should stay, if they should give him more time, the answer’s so clear from my outside perspective and with everything I’ve learned about this kind of man.

Without their emotional attachment, without their personal connection to this man who represents something they can’t yet see, I see so clearly someone who should never, ever be anywhere near them, let alone in a relationship with them.

But then there are the others. Maybe it’s you, too.Continue Reading

It's Fantastic, But Then He Acts Weird and Distant

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A beautiful woman sits across from a man during a date that she doesn't want to be on.
As soon as he knows I'm done with the games, he pulls me back in.

Gorgeous Maria keeps getting pulled back into a relationship, only to have him pull away and get distant again.

Here's what she wrote:

Hi Jane, thank you in advance.

I'm trying to figure out why my ex won't let go of me all together.

And why does he act weird/distant when it comes to us actually meeting for dinner or even visiting him out of town where he lives.

As soon as he knows I'm done with his games he leaves me alone for a week or so, then calls. We have fantastic conversations. When we text or call/face time it's fantastic. But when he sees me  face to face he gets weird cold feet.Continue Reading

Is He Losing Interest?

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A beautiful woman is looking at her boyfriend with love wondering is he losing interest.
I’m so afraid that I’m not that interesting to him anymore.

Beautiful Mia writes to tell us about her fear that her boyfriend of 2 years may be losing interest in her.

Here's her email:

Hi Jane,

First of all, I just wanted to say I love reading all the advice you give, even when it’s not relevant to me. You have such an addictively soothing way with words!

I was hoping you could give me some advice about my relationship of almost 2 years.

When we first met, my boyfriend and I hit it off immediately. We were so excited to talk, text, call, and arrange dates with each other as much as possible.Continue Reading

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