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Is He Just "Not Ready"?

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A beautiful woman is holding her head in her hands wondering if her boyfriend who has commitment issues is just playing games or if he wants a committed relationship.
Maybe I just need to move on.

Our letter this week comes from, Vicki, who's wondering if the man she feels a special connection with in their on-again, off-again relationship, will ever be ready for a real, committed relationship.

Here's her story:

Hi Jane,

I love your programs and I am really relating to some of the stuff you say. I particularly relate to Sue's letter.

I have had an on/off relationship with a guy for just over 15 months.

I am 51 and have sorted my life out, he is 53 and hasn't.

He has not sorted out all the baggage from his marriage - i.e. not divorced, just now selling the home because he is having financial trouble.

The trouble comes from being depressed or bi-polar or chronic fatigue that led to a truck load of self-esteem issues and to top it off he has 2 young girls (4 and 10) as well as 2 older boys.

So his life is hard.Continue Reading

I'm So Confused!

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A woman is looking up at question marks above her head.
Am I being over sensitive and reading too much into it?

Our letter this week comes from one of our beautiful subscribers, Angela, who finds herself confused over the hot and cold behavior of her boyfriend of two months.

Here's her story:

Hi Jane,

I have been seeing a man for almost 2 months. He is a truck driver and is on the road a lot. He has 2 children; one is much older (an adult), the other is young son. He sees him every other weekend.

In the beginning we spent hours and hours a day on the phone. Talking about everything imaginable. Things from our childhoods (both good and horrible things). We talked about past relationships and divorces. We talked  about our children and things they are into and things we do with them as a family.

We talked about sexual things and sent risqué pictures to each other. We would say we miss each other, can't wait to see each other, and give compliments on each other's pictures and how beautiful we think each other is.

We also sent regular pictures such as places he was driving through and things our kids were doing. Pictures of just our faces.Continue Reading

When Loving Him Becomes an Addiction

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A woman rubs her head because she's confused wondering if he's into her or not.
It's going to be so difficult for you to say no to him.

I had something to say this week to a woman who keeps letting someone back in who is verbally and emotionally abusive and I realize some of you may need this, too.

Of all the things we deal with, of all the men we chase and the ways we love and the ways we try to let go, there is nothing as damaging to our self-esteem, the very core of our being, than being with someone whose words and actions keep us staying small, forgetting our worth, putting all our hopes of ever feeling loved on the very ones who ironically are the very ones so incapable of showing us love, of giving us that love.

Being with someone like this feels so incredible at times. The highest of highs, followed at some point by the lowest of lows because it can't be sustainable when someone isn't capable of loving like this.

If this is where you are, if this is what you're going through, I offer you the solace of knowing you're not alone, that someone has your back, someone still sees you in the midst of this. One day soon, when you're free, you'll see this so much more clearly.Continue Reading

He Won't Let Me Move On

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A man is begging for forgiveness from his girlfriend while she is wondering if she should let go and move on.Our beautiful friend, who has called herself "Hopeless Romantic", is wondering if she should just let go and move on or give her boyfriend of 8 years one more chance.

Here's her story:

Hi Jane,

My situation is a little complicated, I met this guy about 8 years ago.

He tried very hard to get my attention and win me over so we started dating very soon after we met. When we met he told me he had been in the army and that he was about to finish college only for me to find out that all this was a lie and he only said it to try to impressed me.

Regardless of this, I forgave him and we continued our relationship.

Within 8 months of dating, he proposed and I said yes. I was not ready to get married yet and he was not financially stable nor had finished college so we decided to have a long engagement. During the next 4 years we had wonderful memories and were planning for a future together, but we also had a few speed bumps where I caught him emailing another girl and telling her how much he loved her.

He said she was his cousin and that nothing ever happened so I took him back.Continue Reading

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