dating mistakes

Why Didn't He Ask for a Second Date When It Seemed to Go So Well?

A beautiful woman is sipping coffee while talking with a man over lunch, wondering why she's not getting what she wants in a relationship. — It seemed like it went really well - I don't get it!

One of my group coaching clients inspired this post (thank you - you know who you are!)

I mean, really, who of us hasn’t been on a great first date with a guy giving all the good vibes, thinking there are going to be so many more down the road, only to be left with that awkwardness when he doesn’t say anything at the end of the date?

All too familiar, right?

So let’s break that down. Why DOESN’T he make sure he’s on your calendar again before he says goodbye? Is it because he’s not interested? Did he not have as good a time as he seemed to? What’s really going on behind the scenes?

First of all, we’ve got a culture that has a whole lot of unwritten rules that influence our men in general, especially when it comes to planning next dates.Continue Reading

Should You Be Dating Multiple Men at the Same Time?

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Pretty woman standing and juggling with red balls representing dating multiple men at one time. — Afraid to juggle more than one guy at a time? Here’s why you should be afraid NOT to!

With every new relationship, we learn. Every time our hearts break, we learn.

I’ll never do that again, we say. I’ll make sure to do this instead. Sound familiar?

I used to think there was something wrong with me because I couldn’t NOT jump in with both feet whenever that intense chemistry kicked in. I used to wonder why I couldn’t be like other women who managed to keep their objectivity and take their time getting to know a new guy without putting all their eggs in one basket.

Because unlike them, I spent way, way too much of my time and energy waiting for him to call, to make plans with me for the weekend. It was such an anxiety-provoking way to live waiting on him like this, and yet doing anything else - making plans with someone else -seemed like I would be showing him I wasn’t all that interested and he would lose interest in me.

Turns out, the opposite is true. This is now one of the things I would do so differently.Continue Reading

Before You Call, Text or Message Him...

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A beautiful woman looks at her phone, wondering if she should call him. — Make sure to do this BEFORE you do something you regret!

How do you say “you blew it!”?

How do you say “if only you had called me first!"

You don’t.

She already knows it.

I can assure her that he wasn’t the right one for her. I can try to convince her that someone who really was on the same page, wanted the same thing, was truly compatible with her, would have been able to overlook what she did or said.Continue Reading

Should I Initiate Contact?

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A woman looks at her phone while texting. — Here's how to know when you should (and shouldn't) initiate contact.

You’ve asked everyone you know, and even some you don’t. You’ve Googled it. You’ve read article after article to find your answer and still the answer seems to elude you. It either doesn’t sit right, isn’t you, or sounds too complicated.

There’s a reason you’re confused. It IS confusing!

You hear stories of women who made that initial contact and now they’re happily married! You hear of other women who never EVER initiated any contact, and now they’re happily married, too! Then there’s the in-between stories of the ones who initiated sometimes, and others who only initiated once in a while.

So here you are trying to figure out which one is right, which one is wrong, and which one is right for you, and it’s no wonder you’re finding yourself more confused than ever.Continue Reading

He Says "They're Just Friends"

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A guy is holding hands with one woman, while checking out and flirting with another woman — I found out from social media that he's dating other women.

One of our gorgeous readers, who has called herself "A", has been dating a guy for a while, and now thinks he's dating other women. He says these other women are just friends, but she's not sure what to do next.

Here's her email:

Hi Jane! I am so glad I have found you.

I find this website very helpful and I think for most of us, its a relief, because from my experience I get really confused and that inner voice inside of me telling me "I don't think this is going to end well".

Well here is my question: from a guy's point of view what's the idea of dating?

Because I have been dating a really nice guy for a month now, he is 3 years older than me (I am 22), although age doesn't really matter and for once I thought, wow I think this is the one. This guy seems just right, with the way he treats you, takes you out, worries about you, talks to you everyday, I feel great every time I am with him and I think it's the same feeling from his part, anyway its the whole fairy tale.

Everything it's perfect.

Suddenly just out of the blue, I noticed on the social network that he is also dating other girls. Continue Reading

Was I Just A Hot Mess With A Great Guy?

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A beautiful woman is holding her hair back with her hands, wondering if she was a hot mess. — Did I scare him off?

One of our beautiful readers, Felicia, is wondering if she drove away a great guy by being (her words) a "hot mess".

Here's her story:

Hi Jane.

I recently discovered your site to look for answers to many of my questions.

I have seen many articles or posts everywhere that he was not just the one or bad boy, etc.

But...what if, in fact, we were the one messing with a great guy? Or "Like attracts like"?

I recently ended up with a person who was quite close to whom I am looking for while my mother was fighting for her life. I met him via online dating site after several months after relocating to new country. Prior to that, I was just enjoying casual datings with some men. However he was different.Continue Reading