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Did I Get Played?

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Woman upset after her boyfriend pulled away and disappeared, wondering if he'll ever come back.
Am I being an idiot for thinking this could actually be something?

This week I'm featuring a letter - along with my response - from gorgeous Maddie, who's wondering if the man she's been seeing is actually interested in a committed relationship or if he's just playing with her heart.

Here's her story:

Hi Jane,

I have a question for you.

Some background information: I have known this guy for 6 years (we briefly dated 6 years ago and have remained in contact on and off in this time, both as friends and sometimes a bit flirty).

Over the last 5-ish months we have gotten quite close again.

He had a girlfriend so we never spoke or did anything sexual. He spoke to me about some of their issues and I gave advice as best I could.

They broke up around 6 weeks ago and since then he and I have spent time together and gotten a lot closer.Continue Reading

Why He Suddenly Changes After 3 to 4 Months

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Sand passing through the glass bulbs of an hourglass measuring the passing time representing wasting time in a dead end relationship with a man who won't commit.
Why does it always happen at the same time?

We talk a lot on here about the man who comes on strong. The knight in shining armor type of guy who comes in and sweeps us off our feet before we even realize what’s happening.

We may not even notice him at first, because it’s not only about his looks or his physical attributes.

No, this one takes us completely by surprise because, overwhelmingly, most of the time we don’t even see it coming.

We’re a little aloof at first, cautious even. After all, we’ve been warned about this type of guy. The type who jumps in too fast, who wants to take everything to the next level faster than the relationship calls for, the one who simply can’t seem to get enough of you.Continue Reading

How Do You Share Your Feelings When He Won't Commit?

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Couple not talking after a fight on the sofa in living room at home
How do I talk to him about how I feel, without scaring him away?

You feel so much. You care so much. You love him so much.

You want to tell him how you feel. You think that’s all he needs to come around.

“I just need to tell him”, you think. “I just need to put it out there so that he’ll know for sure.”

So you think about it. You ask your friends what they think. Because after all, you don’t know what to think.Continue Reading

He Won't Commit (and Do I Really Want Him To?)

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An eraser erasing the word commitment from the paper, symboliizing a man who won't commit.
He'd be happy to just keep me as his "weekend girlfriend" for years.

This week, beautiful Lee writes about her long term partner whose commitment issues are causing her to have some trust issues with him.

Here's her email:

I've been exclusively dating my guy for nearly 18 months.

It was only after we'd been going out for 3 months that I found out he had been separated for nearly 18 years, but never divorced. He knows I thought he was divorced and I wouldn't have gone out with him if I'd known he was only separated.

He goes on about how he never said he was divorced, but he said "my wife wanted the divorce," and naturally I thought he meant it had gone ahead.

He said he'd never pursued the divorce because of his daughter - now aged 23 - as he felt bad about leaving when she was very young. But the wife had told him to go, although he realises she thought he'd probably return and be totally subservient.Continue Reading

He Says He Wants to Marry Me, But Something Always Seems to Happen

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A beautiful woman is sitting on the couch upset because she wants to be married and have children and her boyfriend does not want marriage.
I'm sick of it, but I really care for him...

This week, beautiful Kimberly writes to tell us about her (very) long term relationship with a man who just can't seem to commit to marriage with her.

Here's what she wrote:

I've been in a relationship for over 8 years. Well there's been a lot of stuff that has happened between us.

Today we aren't getting along at all. He lives with his mother and has a daughter who had kids. His daughter is 30 and the fathers of these kids will not have anything to do with the kids.

This guy has said he wants to marry me over the years and something always seem to happen to him that he won't marry me.

He acts like all he wants to do is be with his grandchildren and will make no time to build a relationship with us. There's nothing wrong with his daughter that she can't take care of her 2 kids but over the past 1.5 years we fight about this all the time.Continue Reading

This Will Make Him Want to Commit, But…

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Man lies on the couch while his girlfriend is upset with him because he's emotionally unavailable.
It's only ever been this.

 

There’s a question you have to ask yourself before you stay one more day in a relationship waiting for a man who isn’t committing to you.

I know why you’re waiting. I know you see enough good in him, enough potential in him to make him worth the wait.

But you’re not doing yourself any favors and wasting a whole lot of your life and time right now if you can’t answer this with anything but a definitive “yes”.

If he NEVER changes, do you still want him?Continue Reading

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