Getting to TRUE Love

Finding your YOU that leads to TWO

I'm So Confused!

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A woman is looking up at question marks above her head.
Am I being over sensitive and reading too much into it?

Our letter this week comes from one of our beautiful subscribers, Angela, who finds herself confused over the hot and cold behavior of her boyfriend of two months.

Here's her story:

Hi Jane,

I have been seeing a man for almost 2 months. He is a truck driver and is on the road a lot. He has 2 children; one is much older (an adult), the other is young son. He sees him every other weekend.

In the beginning we spent hours and hours a day on the phone. Talking about everything imaginable. Things from our childhoods (both good and horrible things). We talked about past relationships and divorces. We talked  about our children and things they are into and things we do with them as a family.

We talked about sexual things and sent risqué pictures to each other. We would say we miss each other, can't wait to see each other, and give compliments on each other's pictures and how beautiful we think each other is.

We also sent regular pictures such as places he was driving through and things our kids were doing. Pictures of just our faces.Continue Reading

This Is What You Need to Do About the Man Who Won't Commit

16 Comments

A beautiful, exuberant woman is in a field with her arms raised towards the sun.
Do this first - then you'll know what to do with him.

I talk to so many women who all want to know what they should do about a particular man who's dragging his feet, who comes and goes but not on any schedule they can count on, who's all but living like a single guy while he's supposed to be in a relationship with them.

Every one of their friends tells them to dump him, but the truth is, until you're ready to dump him, you can't, you won't, and you're going to be miserable if you do.

You already know what you're going to do regardless of what I or anyone else say you should do. So I'm going to tell you to do something else.

Shift the focus from him to you.

Find out everything you can about why you are the way you are and how your personality combined with your environment to make you the way you are.

Find some people or animals or cause or something else outside yourself that desperately needs all that love you have for him, and pour your heart into that. Continue Reading

Remember This One Thing...

58 Comments

A snowflake covered clock counting down to 2020
This is how you shine, Beautiful.

Wherever the old year finds you tonight, wherever the new year finds you tomorrow, promise me you'll remember one thing.

You have nothing to prove.

NOTHING.

Not to anyone, and especially not to the ones you think you do.

The ones who want you will want you.

The ones who like you will like you.

And the ones who love you will absolutely love you - just the way you are!

Your work is only to learn how to tell the difference so that you never, EVER have to go through any more heartbreak like you've already been through. Because it's been enough already.

We're not talking about a few minor tweaks, we're talking about the essence of you!

Never forget that part, Beautiful.Continue Reading

Is It Worth It?

12 Comments

Female hands holding a sand in form of the heart
It's often so hard to have our kind of hearts.

Is it worth it? Is it?

Every rejection. Every loss. Every devastating heartbreak.

You don’t just feel it. You feel it in every part of your being. You live it.

It doesn’t just hurt. It stings like nothing you’ve ever felt.

Until it happens again.

And you experience it all over again.

Is it ever worth it?

That’s the question we need the answer to. Because it doesn’t feel like it.

Give us something that shows having such sensitive hearts like ours are worth it. We need to know it is.Continue Reading

I Was Only 9 Years Old

8 Comments

A young girl sits on a bench by a lake, feeling invisible and alone.
When I learned how quickly it could all be taken away.

I've been judged my entire life. Some of you know this about me, most of you don't.

My worth was equated with being perfect.

When you have a dad who's a minister, you have to be. Picking up early on what it meant to be loved in my family, I learned to conform and earned the label of the perfect one, while my older sister rebelled against that conformity and was forced to leave our house when she was 14 years old.

I was 9 years old and the day I learned my parents had chosen my dad's church and upholding their image over their own daughter, I also learned that my perfect label wasn't just a label; it was a matter of life as I knew it or the very opposite.

It was confirmed for me that my worst fear as a child could happen; I could lose their love.

From that moment, I chose security and hid my true self until I left the country for college after I graduated high school.Continue Reading

I Was Beautiful for 3 Months

11 Comments

Beautiful woman looking into a mirror.
I've said those exact same words myself.

It was just a comment that came into my inbox, but it was these words that caught my attention enough to know there was something more that needed to be said.

Why?

Because I've said those exact same words myself and I know so many of you have, too.

How many of us have felt these same words? When we're loved, we're beautiful. When we're no longer loved, we're no longer beautiful.

Isn't that what we feel?

There's no shortage of messages we receive that tell us we're beautiful when we're loved. There's no shortage of confirmation of those words from even our well-meaning friends and family who comment on how radiant we look when we're basking in someone's love.

We get the message.Continue Reading

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