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Finding Love

The posts in the Finding Love category relate to bringing love into your life, whether you are currently single, dating, or in a relationship. This category includes topics such as finding yourself, knowing what you want, living your life, etc.

Doing this ONE thing is going to make it EASIER on you!

7 Comments

A beautiful woman holds her hair up while looking at the ocean.
Can you see this?

The most tragic part of loving the wrong people for us - the ones who don't love us back or love us the way we love them - is that we take this wrong person and we stake our worth on them.

Until they love us, we're unlovable. Until they accept us, we're unacceptable.

We tie our worth to someone who has no special claim to determine our worthiness. In fact, we pick the very one who's incapable of loving anyone like us at all.

Can you see this?

It's never about a guy, never about winning someone's love. It is always about proving something about ourselves we feel we have to prove. That's a made up story someone put on us, not anything to do with real love.

Take this guy you're holding to this task that he's utterly incapable of and never signed up for in the first place. Let him be just an ordinary guy.

Give yourself back your worth, your lovability, your more than acceptable status. It was never about him, but always about what we needed him to be.

If you don't need him - or any man - to validate you like this, can you see how much easier this thing you've made "the great impossible search" becomes?

Seeing this? Type "yes" here in the comments below.

Feeling resentful? Here's why that's so NORMAL!

1 Comment

Woman sitting by a lake feeling all alone in her relationship.
Could I really be right back here again?

I was on a call last week with a beautiful woman I'm coaching all the way from Africa. Our community has reached all around the world!

She was struggling with her deep - and completely justified - feelings of resentment after finding herself in yet another relationship where she's put in all the effort to keep a relationship going only to have it end in disappointment.

"When am I ever going to get this right, Jane?!" she asked me.

I empathize with her after voicing these same words more times than I ever thought possible.

"Could I really be right back here again?" For every one of you who've ever uttered these words, we all commiserate with you!

Who among us hasn't responded from our default hard-wired programming that tells us when someone pulls away, you try harder, you do more, you give more of yourself? Who of us haven't found ourselves doing what we would be so much better to do when it feels so counter-intuitive to our rising panic - to stop and let him come to you?Continue Reading

My calls are all filling up with THIS!

18 Comments

A heartbroken woman with her head in her hands, wondering how do I let go?
I see this all the time on my calls.

What's keeping you up at night? What are you most afraid of?

This is what's showing up on my calls - the fears behind the fears, the things that keep you up at night.

You find me for so many different reasons but it's usually your heartbreak over yet another guy that finally cracks everything open so you can see what's been wrong for a long, long time.

That's what I'm hearing from you right now.

Everything that's wrong in the world - in your world - and in the future as far as you can see ahead.

How will anything change? How can anything be different when it's been this way for already too long?

How do I find hope? How do I stop feeling so lonely?

How do I make my life over? Is it just too late for me?Continue Reading

Is this you?

2 Comments

sad woman walking on the city street at sunset
You mean I have a voice?

If you've never had someone model boundaries for you, if you've never learned how to find your own voice - and use it, there's something you need to know about finding it.

It's not easy. It won't feel natural. And you'll wonder if it's okay to have discovered this at all.

See, no one ever tells you how uncomfortable, how completely out of your comfort zone it’s going to be for you to learn a new language that includes the “I” statements you’ve never learned.

“I feel”.

“I need”.

“I want”.

“I hear”.

“I know”.

“I am”.

“I’m not”.

The list goes on and on.Continue Reading

I lived this way for years

2 Comments

Beautiful woman sad sitting on the window sill and painting on glass feeling heartbroken because it's hard to move on.
I tried so hard.

I don't know who told you being single is your punishment for something you did in your past but I do know this; they were wrong.

Who you've been and what you've done is about what you thought you had to do to be loved.

Everything you did - no matter how much you know better now - was about getting someone to love you. Even if you didn't know that back then, even if you're beating yourself up now, holding yourself to some standard of perfection you could never have lived up to back then, this still isn't about some punishment you're wearing like an albatross around your neck!

I lived this way for years. Trying so hard to make the hardest cases to crack actually love me.

I measured my worth by them. The irony was, they had no clue how to love, they couldn't even love themselves, let alone someone with as much light and love as me.Continue Reading

Do you do this too?

11 Comments

Beautiful woman looking out the window on a rainy day, wondering if it serves her.
There's a way to stop.

Do you do this? Do you attach way too fast?

Do you pick up on a few important cues and then that's it, you start to fill in the blanks and conclude this is your place/your person before you even know anything about them?

Are you all in before you even know where you've found yourself?

When you grew up in an environment where you didn't have a secure attachment (and especially if you're a deeply sensitive soul!) you're still searching for that kind of attachment to someone you can transfer the fulfillment of that need onto.Continue Reading

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About Jane Garapick

Hi, I'm Jane Garapick. I'm here to provide inspiration, support and empowerment on the journey to true love. I know what it’s like to have a broken heart, a broken dream, and a broken you. And I know for a fact, that your dreams can still come true! Read more...
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